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earreola1001 · Sep 21, 2013, 01:58 PM

Me and her are the same age but she's 2 months older than me and admitted to me a while ago that she likes. I said you're kidding are and she said no I'm being serious. And then she kissed me on the cheek. I told her that it's not right and that she should find another guy but she won't listen. She keeps visiting my house and my parents are OK with but I'm not because she does that just to be with me.

All she likes to do is hug me and kiss me on the cheek like over 50 times a day at my house. Sometimes she would invite me to hang out with her like to go to her house to the movies and out to eat. If I refuse to go then she would cry and my parents would get mad at me. So I have no choice but to go or else I'll get in big trouble. It would always be me and her alone together like if we were dating. She keeps telling me that she wants to marry me and have babies with me one day. Once she asked me to marry her. I said no. She got so upset that she cried wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. I told her to stop many times and how wrong it is for cousins to date and marry each other but she won't listen.

Her room has full of pictures of me. I have told and strongly complained to my parents and her parents about her behavior towards me but they never do anything about it. Now I don't know what else to do. I think she has mental issues. We are blood related and this is all PLAIN WRONG.

joypulv · Sep 21, 2013, 02:00 PM

First - how old are you?

Alty · Sep 21, 2013, 02:02 PM

How old are the two of you?

Bottom line, you don't have to allow someone to kiss and hug you if you don't want them to. Your parents can't decide that for you. So the next time she tries to kiss you, or hug you, tell her to stop, and walk away. If she cries and complains, and your parents get mad, ask them if you're supposed to let someone touch you when you're not comfortable with it. Is that right to them? Is that what they want to teach you?

earreola1001 · Sep 21, 2013, 02:06 PM

We're both 17

N0help4u · Sep 21, 2013, 02:15 PM

Maybe you need to make your parents aware of the fact that she is 'after you' in a way that cousins shouldn't be. Then you need to tell her that she is making you feel uncomfortable because she is your cousin and you feel it is very inappropriate. Make it clear that there are laws against cousin marriage and having babies (if applicable to your local).

Second step if all else fails when she wants to 'go out again' tell her to bring a date as you will be bringing a date.

Alty · Sep 21, 2013, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by earreola1001

were both 17

At 17 you should be able to stand up for yourself.

When you've talked to your parents, what did you tell them about this situation.

earreola1001 · Sep 21, 2013, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

At 17 you should be able to stand up for yourself.

When you've talked to your parents, what did you tell them about this situation.

Well I told them all the things about what she's does and says to me. But still they never do a thing about it.

Alty · Sep 21, 2013, 02:52 PM

Originally Posted by earreola1001

Well I told them all the things about what she's does and says to me. But still they never do a thing about it.

Then it's up to you to stop it. You're not a child. At 17 you're almost legally an adult. No one has to allow someone to do the things she's doing. You do have a choice. Don't go out with her, don't put yourself in a situation where you're alone with her. If she comes over, go out with friends. If she invites you to a movie, say no. If she tries to hug you or kiss you, walk away.

earreola1001 · Sep 21, 2013, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Then it's up to you to stop it. You're not a child. At 17 you're almost legally an adult. No one has to allow someone to do the things she's doing. You do have a choice. Don't go out with her, don't put yourself in a situation where you're alone with her. If she comes over, go out with friends. If she invites you to a movie, say no. If she tries to hug you or kiss you, walk away.

Yeah you're probably right. I will give it a try. I hope it doesn't make things worse

Wondergirl · Sep 21, 2013, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by earreola1001

Yeah you're probably right. I will give it a try. I hope it doesn't make things worse

How could it make things worse?

N0help4u · Sep 21, 2013, 03:43 PM

If she makes a big problem to the parents about how he is treating her so badly and they side with her. He sounds like he is spending the time with her to keep peace between his parents and the aunt and uncle.

earreola1001 · Sep 21, 2013, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How could it make things worse?

Well it could some how. You never know.

Wondergirl · Sep 21, 2013, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by earreola1001

Well it could some how. You never know.

If you let it continue to happen, it will get worse. If you stop it, there's no worse situation.

Your response means you enjoy it.

N0help4u · Sep 21, 2013, 04:22 PM

Try ignoring her and avoiding her and let us know if and how it got worse.
I think telling her how it makes him feel wrong and then inviting friends along would create less problems with his and her parents.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 21, 2013, 04:29 PM

You need to stop giving in to her. You are not a child. You don't have to go over there. When she tries to hug you, walk away.
Talk to your parents again and make it very clear how this bothers you and how wrong you think it is.

earreola1001 · Sep 21, 2013, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Try ignoring her and avoiding her and let us know if and how it got worse.
I think telling her how it makes him feel wrong and then inviting friends along would create less problems with his and her parents.

Yeah I should.

earreola1001 · Sep 21, 2013, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If you let it continue to happen, it will get worse. If you stop it, there's no worse situation.

Your response means you enjoy it.

Well of course I don't enjoy it. But yes I should stand up like a man do it

Jake2008 · Sep 21, 2013, 04:55 PM

That she has pictures of you plastered on her walls, and her parents don't think that its odd, is also a part of this whole picture.

If they don't find it strange, what do they think of it. It's cute?

Because you live at home, and both sets of parents are OK (even encouraging) about this 'friendship' between you and your cousin, you're going to have to enlist their help whether they want to give it or not.

For instance, when she shows up at your house, say no, you aren't going anywhere with her, you have plans. No need to explain, just walk away. Let her cry and fret to your parents, and hers.

Stop accepting phone calls, stop/delete her on Facebook, block her email address. Don't under any circumstances, go to her house.

She will not react well, which, in a way, will likely bring her behavior forward to her parents, and in turn, from her parents, to your parents. Let them deal with it.

Beware of threats, and lies that may come forth when you do finally decide to end this 'relationship'. But better now, than wait, and keep doing what you are doing, with her thinking the relationship will go somewhere.

For your peace of mind, you might also want to send her one final message that her attention is not welcome, and not and never will be encouraged. Straight up, and honest. Keep a hard copy which may come in handy later when her parents are trying to figure out her behavior.

earreola1001 · Sep 21, 2013, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by Jake2008

That she has pictures of you plastered on her walls, and her parents don't think that its odd, is also a part of this whole picture.

If they don't find it strange, what do they think of it. It's cute?

Because you live at home, and both sets of parents are ok (even encouraging) about this 'friendship' between you and your cousin, you're going to have to enlist their help whether they want to give it or not.

For instance, when she shows up at your house, say no, you aren't going anywhere with her, you have plans. No need to explain, just walk away. Let her cry and fret to your parents, and hers.

Stop accepting phone calls, stop/delete her on Facebook, block her email address. Don't under any circumstances, go to her house.

She will not react well, which, in a way, will likely bring her behavior forward to her parents, and in turn, from her parents, to your parents. Let them deal with it.

Beware of threats, and lies that may come forth when you do finally decide to end this 'relationship'. But better now, than wait, and keep doing what you are doing, with her thinking the relationship will go somewhere.

For your peace of mind, you might also want to send her one final message that her attention is not welcome, and not and never will be encouraged. Straight up, and honest. Keep a hard copy which may come in handy later when her parents are trying to figure out her behavior.

Thanks.