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    rumana30's Avatar
    rumana30 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 2, 2010, 06:50 AM
    Conversations with my BF ends up in arguments these days, whatever we talk about
    "conversations with my BF ends up in arguments these days, whatever we talk about, it starts so well
    but going ahead don't know he gets so finicky about certain things that it creates an issue and even if i
    try my best to compromise and accept me being wrong even if I'm not, everything goes off. No matter my
    intentions are good, he has started taking me so negative that he refuses to talk or understand what i
    try to say or explain. Everything was going good, but during past few months he is been taking me for
    granted, getting unresponsive and its going worse. I don't want to spoil the relationship. Please suggest
    something so that things could work out. I'm tired of accepting me being wrong even if I'm not, and if I
    retaliate then also its worse, don't know what to do? stuck from both sides."
    ironhide262's Avatar
    ironhide262 Posts: 277, Reputation: 243
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Dec 2, 2010, 07:17 AM
    You need to talk to him about everything you have written here. Taking you for granted, unresponsive, argumentative... thisis definitely not a good pattern and the way a happy relationship should progress. I wonder if he is under a lot of stress or maybe just not happy in your relationship. How long have you been together?
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Dec 2, 2010, 07:40 AM

    If what you say is true about ever conversation ends up in a fight, then why stay in the relationship? Your not married to this man, why would you feel that you need to continue having to be passive to him? If he is like this now, why would you ever think its going to get better. If you think changing him is possible, you better start really taking the time to read other post on this site, and you will notice there is a few common factors and one is YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE, if they are already being a demanding, argumentative,moody person now, they will more then likely ALWAYS be.

    Are you willing to live like this is the real question. If your not, then get out and move on, there are real men whom you can have a conversation and yes even disagree with and not act like spoiled rotten brat. BUT if you choose to stay, then you know how he is and you will need to stop complaining. Good luck
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Dec 2, 2010, 03:59 PM

    Maybe you need a more understanding boyfriend who knows when you are right and won't freak out.

    Just because you love the guy doesn't mean he is a good boyfriend for you and he isn't. Stand up for yourself when your right and tell him to screw himself and leave. What are you afraid of? Him getting mad? Him leaving you? That may be a blessing in disguise so stop being a wimp!! He ain't worth all that!
    Andrew916's Avatar
    Andrew916 Posts: 182, Reputation: 33
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Dec 2, 2010, 04:25 PM

    It sounds to me like the relationship is already spoiled. You need to get out before it gets any worse :/

    -Drew
    Aleeravilu's Avatar
    Aleeravilu Posts: 77, Reputation: 22
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Dec 4, 2010, 08:26 AM
    Ask him the same question you're asking us! Seems like something is definitely wrong with him, or maybe it's his true self that you never actually had a chance to face when you first got together (I'm just guessing here OK?)
    But like they always said, first time do wrong is hardest, and eventually it gets easier, lots easier.
    So you should prepare yourself for the ultimate ending with him. But really, if I were you, I would dump him a decade ago! No one has any right to mistreat people, and no one ever dares to do that to the person they love (which means there's chances that he isn't that into you anymore, sorry, but this is what I believe). Stay away asap girl!
    jakester's Avatar
    jakester Posts: 582, Reputation: 165
    Senior Member
     
    #7

    Dec 4, 2010, 08:58 AM

    Rumana - I'm wondering what has happened in his life over the past 3 months, since you describe the change in his attitude being pretty recent. Maybe he is coping badly with an issue in his life. Maybe he's cheating on you and he is projecting onto you. Maybe he is a person who is not mature enough to handle a meaningful relationship where people communicate, share hurts, and work through issues.

    You know him better than we do, obviously, so you can pinpoint where you think the issue is. But my advice is to not shrink inwardly and think you are the problem at all times... that's terribly manipulative and self-righteous of him.

    Like others have suggested, if you try the direct approach with him and attempt to resolve your issues with no improvement, you can't stay. Your relationship will never be healthy in a marriage when it's so bad now. Never be afraid to be directly confrontational about issues going on... if you are afraid of losing him by talking directly, you have to grow up and know that you are a worthwhile person and you could meet someone better suited for you.

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