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5150 · Jul 16, 2007, 01:58 PM

2 weeks ago, my girlfriend of a year and a half broke it off. It was the day after I told her I had been shopping for a ring. The previous number of months she has been feeling insecure, but we made it through and I told her that I would see her through anything. She said she loves me and we had discussed marriage very casually. I think her insecurity put her off the deep end and she paniced. Normally I help her work through situations and navigate the waters until she comes around. This time I haven't done that, thinking she needs to do it for herself. I'm pretty sure that she loves me as much as I do her, but this has me questioning everything, including myself.

It's been nearly 2 weeks and I am totally heartbroken, and basically desperate for contact.

Any advice would help.

Thanks

s_cianci · Jul 16, 2007, 02:06 PM

Well, you may feel desperate for contact but don't give in. She broke it off so you owe it to yourself to move on. Let her realize what she lost. That'll never happen as long as you contact her. Forget about her for now and live your life as if she doesn't exist. There are plenty of other decent, good women out there that are worth getting to know.

shapeshifter · Jul 16, 2007, 02:41 PM

I Just want to start saying that I think it is totally sweet that you helped her through her tough times. That says a lot about your character. I agree with your observation that she "panicked" and broke it off. But, you have to wonder why she panicked? I am curious as to what she is so insecure about. Is it the relationship... herself... you... her future?

My advice would be to just leave her alone and let her work it out with herself. I know that isn't what you probably want to hear, but, I agree with s_cianci on that one. It sounds like to me that she just wants her space. There probably isn't a lot you can do at this point except give it to her. In the meantime, I would find things to do to keep yourself from going crazy with thinking about her. Do you have some friends that will hang out with you? Or do you have family in the area? If not, how about taking some leisure learning courses. Sounds kind of corny, but it really does work. Doing things for yourself that help improve yourself is always helpful. There will be times of course when you will be all alone with yourself and you will feel like calling her. All I can say on that one is that you will have to be strong. Keep telling yourself that you can do it. And you can!

And one more corny thing... and you already know this... if she is meant for you, then you two will work it out eventually.

talaniman · Jul 16, 2007, 03:03 PM

You scared her and she is probably in shock. She may have commitment issues, I don't know, but she needs space to decide what she wants without pressure from you. I don't know if she will be back, but I think it important that for now to leave her alone completely. Let her decide this for herself. She knows how to contact you.