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    robinsonjr's Avatar
    robinsonjr Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 13, 2008, 07:39 PM
    Cont: break up
    My girlfriend says that I put pressure on her by wanting to get closer in the relationship by offering future plans, house key, dreams of marriage and wanting to be next to her every night. There is the issue of her kids and me spending the night at her house, I have tried to find ways to deal with the spending the night issue because I have moved out of the area, and I just didn't want to lose that comfort of having her next to me at night or her feeling the same way. These things lead to the argument that occurred and she says that I put pressure on her and she dose not think she can deal with it, there is also the break up remark but she will think about giving it a chance but she has to think. This weekend she went to dinner with my parents and she asked me for a hug and then she said give me a hug you don't want to hug me we hugged and she gave me a kiss goodnight. My mother asked her over and she came to my house the next day and stayed most of the day with her kids who played with my son. She then asked me if I had told my parents what was going on and I told her yes, she asked what did they say and I told her nothing because its our problem. After leaving the movies she told me that she thought that she would not see my mother this weekend. Later she leaves and calls me when she gets home to tell me that she is home. This morning I call her and we talk briefly and I told her to call me when she gets a chance and she had not called today. What is the best approach for this situation?
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #2

    Oct 13, 2008, 07:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by robinsonjr View Post
    my girlfriend says that i put pressure on her by wanting to get closer in the relationship by offering future plans, house key, dreams of marriage and wanting to be next to her every night. there is the issue of her kids and me spending the night at her house,

    I read the other post, and I have to tell you I love your girlfriend. I'd kill to have a woman actually tell me if I was doing something she didn't like. Yours actually is telling you what her problem with you is and you aren't even listening to her. You've been together for 4 months... 120 days!! You are already talking about marriage, moving in, asking for a house key and for the love all thing Holy, you actually have the nerve to ask her to spend the night after 4 months with her kids in the house? This may surprise you but she probably doesn't want to look like a slut to her kids. Parenting. She's doing it. I can't believe you would even question that?

    Her problem with you is that you don't back off stupid requests that you have no business making 4 months into a relationship. She not only has herself to think about but her children, you not only ignore that, you disrespect her by thinking about yourself and how this comes off. If you are constantly making her uncomfortable why would she want to keep you around?

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