Backstory... I have been working across the globe for past ten years and thus haven't really seen much of family. But life has changed and I am back home in UK for good, I am temporarily staying with family in the guest suite until I get my own place sorted. I have a little 10yo niece who lives in same house, love her to bits and whilst I was overseas she used to send cards and call me and I always got "love you lots Uncle Mike, please come home, miss you so much" etc etc, so even though I sadly never saw her, there was some bond there.

Anyway, I been home and living with them now for 4 weeks and I am just so confused with both my niece and my own emotions right now to be honest. Past ten days or so she has just been ignoring me totally, won't talk to me, even answer when I say "morning sweetheart", in fact she deliberately looks away or at the floor. Spoke to my sister (her mother) and all I got was "yea she does that, its fine". Kids are fickle I know, but 10 days? I am a sensitive soul and its really upsetting me to be honest . I don't have kids of my own, and I have no other nephews or nieces so she's very special to me and id jump under a bus for her like any uncle ia m sure.

When I first got back home 4 weeks ago I did get a hug and kiss and first few days she sat and talked and played games etc, but since then I rarely even get a look in, what happened to my little niece that was so cute and loved me on the phone etc, we seemed to have a better bond when we were miles apart. I was so looking forward to getting home and seeing her, and now being able to watch her grow up somewhat regretting missing most of her 10 years. Is it too late, sure a girl forms her strongest bonds in the early years and now she's already 10yo I really worry its too late, she will never have that 'uncle / niece' bond with me, I never get hugs etc.

To add to my hurt, I have to admit I am a jealous guy a little. And she has a couple of 'false uncles', you know the close family friend that is called 'uncle' out of respect, and just earlier today Uncle John came over and she went mental "my uncle... unc, unc, uncle john.. yaaaa" and went running out to his car to wrap her arms around him and give him several kisses, I had to excuse myself to my room as frankly I felt part anger and part almost tearful. She hadn't spoke to me in days, even looked at me, yet here she was going crazy for a family friend, she has never had that reaction with me even at the airport.. It hurts so much, I am her only true uncle, part of me wants to shout "i am your uncle! your ONLY uncle" but I know that wouldn't be a good move, and I have no problem that she's close to him at all, I just wish she was as close and kind to me is all.

Problem is, I was never here, I was working overseas. 'Uncle John' has been there since birth, babysitted her, bathed her, took her out, been on holidays with her etc, all things an Uncle should do and I regret missing it all, just worried like I say is it too late for me? I can never rebuild those lost years or bond.

My sister and her partner seem to think its all fine, don't seem to even say anything when she blatantly ignores me, they just insist that's how she is, and they say one night she will just randomly come home from school and come straight back to me to play etc. Which sounds lovely sure, but I can't handle the emotions, I can't be an uncle that is switched off and on when she feels the need, I love her to bits and want to be her uncle 24/7, a close important person in her life.

Is it because I am living with them at the moment? I mean uncles don't usually share the same house and I wonder if me being there breakfast,dinner and tea is just too much, she's bored of me? I hope to get my own place sorted soon and hope only seeing her once a week etc may make her appreciate me more, or I am hoping too much? I wish I could take out for a day out or a movie etc, to spend some time with her, but finances won't allow right now, and I can't ever seem to get her alone for a chat etc, its such a busy house and always someone about her.

And what to do? When she does sit and come back to me (I hope!) do I just act like nothing is up and have fun together even though she's ignored me for over a week? Or do I start by confronting her about why she's been so hurtful to me, although I pretty certain that will get her throwing a moody and make matters even worse.

And she's 10yo now, I guess there's about a year or so before she bits puberty and big-school. And then I am sure 'uncles aren't cool' will become the issue, hence I really want to spend some quality time and hugs with her before she stops being a 'kid' and grows up so fast as they do these days, I missed her first ten years to my regret now, I just want to enjoy my little niece as a child before its too late..

Sorry its so long, hope someone can cheer me up, do all uncles feel jealous like I do..
She's hurting me lots, but how can you tell a 10yo?

This is so sweet, have you tried asking her if you've done anything to upset her? Maybe offer to take her out for a day and ask her then.. Say your sorry if you've done anything wrong.. Maybe her parents are right, you know.