Hello,

I am a 22 year old male, and the female in question is 21. I will call her Gail for privacy. I have known Gail for around 2 months. We both work at the same job. I trained her and work closely as her partner on the job. Over the past 2 months I have become quite smitten with Gail. She is everything I look for in a women. She is funny, intelligent , has a great personality, responsible and attractive. We have both become good friends, I even hang out with her and her friends now. We both flirt with each other and can talk about anything, I mean anything...

Now on to the confusion. Gail is currently in a relationship that she is not happy with. I hear her complain about her boyfriend on a regular basis. From what I have gathered, If it was me I would have been out of the relationship a long time ago. Her friends all tell her to get out of the relationship, none of them understand why she is still with him. If I am reading her signals right she is attracted to me as I am to her. I could be wrong, but only time will tell I suppose. Lately she has occasionally been a little snappy with me. I have no idea what has triggered it. She even apologizes when she realizes it. She has called me to tell me sorry and make sure I know she didn't mean it.

I am quite confused by all of this. The only thing I can figure is she is taking out some of her frustration about her boyfriend on me. It isn't bad, just snappy comments or nagging. I haven't seen her do this to anyone else. So I am hoping it isn't something I have done. I would like some of your input on this. I plan to talk to her about it soon, but I wanted some subjective view points first.

Now on to the fact that I am quite smitten with Gail. As I have said her current relationship is on the rocks. If they break up I don't want to seem like I am only trying to swoop in for the rebound. Do you think It would seem like that's what I am trying to do? Hell, I don't even know if she would say yes, If I asked her out. I am also worried about losing her as a friend if we go out or when she finds out I want to pursue a romantic relationship. I would rather have her as a friend than not at all. Just being around her makes me all warm and happy. I am not so worried about us both working together, the job isn't that important and I can always move to another position with no problems.

Well sorry for the long winded post. I just needed to get some of this off my chest. If anyone has any advice or answers to my questions, they will be greatly welcomed.


Thanks, Confused_and_Smitten

Have you ever thought that the snapping might be because she is confused about how she feels about you?

Thank you for the reply Cookie Monster. I had not thought of that. It could very well be the reason why. If anyone else has any thoughts feel free. I am trying to understand the situation as much as possible, before I say anything to her.

First if she is flirting with you there is some time of attractions. Most people don't stay in bad relationship with someone they don't love. I witness countless women stay in relationships have their boyfriends have cheated and even used them has punching bags.

With that said I honestly believe she is in love with her boyfriend; however she knows he is not a good person.

The only way you two remind friends if you don't tell her.

You don't want to ruin the friendship then I suggest you say nothing. Once you tell her about your feelings the dramatics of the relationship will change.

I would let Gail know that you are there for has a friend when she needs one.

If you are sooth enough you can tell her in such a way that she knows that you are waiting in the wings for her. This could be motivation for her to leave this creep of hers.

For one you know next to nothing about her, or her life, and you may be to smitten, to see her bad points, so slow it down and find out something about her, and beware, she may complain about her relationship, but she stays, so take it with a grain of salt, and keep your respectful distance, and focus on other things besides her. Smitten wears off, after a while especially after facts, come to light. How would you like to be her b/f, given that she tells everyone how unhappy she is with him. Just a thought. Or was flirty when he isn't around. Don't be dumb, pay attention, and learn something about her.