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    nextlover's Avatar
    nextlover Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 13, 2009, 06:08 AM
    Confused messages
    My boyfriend and I of 5 years split a month ago, he still texting me, in a morning in the day etc asking how I am what I'm doing, he's the one that broke it off! I've asked him numerous of occasions to sort it but it shows no interest, saying he wants to build our relation back up frst... how the hell can it be built when refusing to see me?? I'm trying to ignore him. Lasts about an hour, I need to get a grip.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Oct 13, 2009, 06:13 AM
    You need to get a grip and completely ignore all attempts at communication texts etc.
    He left you-now its time to be strong and not let him sneak back into your life.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Oct 13, 2009, 06:33 AM

    Change your number. He needs to understand that when a break up happens you don't get the luxury of communication with an ex. Seems truly unfair to you.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Oct 13, 2009, 06:35 AM
    The two of you need to back away from each other so that you can recover from this break up. Talking to each other will only create false hope and add to the confusion.

    If he doesn't want to back off, then you're going to have to help him by blocking him out of your life. Change your number if you have to, but nor matter what, do not respond to his messages. If you respond, it will give him false hope.

    The clearest message that you can send him is by ignoring him.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Oct 13, 2009, 09:33 AM

    Time for you to move on with your life. Stop playing his games. If he doesn't want to see you, there's no relationship.
    nextlover's Avatar
    nextlover Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Oct 15, 2009, 02:22 AM
    No contact rule it works!
    Basically I found that my b/f at the time was texting and messaging a 17 year old (hes 41) I found him talking to her on msn too. It was then Fireworks exploding at my house. Then I found lots of other texts from another woman on his phone, he sqys its an old friend he not been in contact with for 4 years. I said how she got your number? He says Facebook, then I found out he took me off Facebook. Anyway, this was 5 week ago, I was in an emotional mess for 4 weeks, suddenly I decided I was putting myself through a turmoil. I got myself a grip, he contionously texts me and I was replying, not no more... totally gave hime the cold shooulder and he's now using any reason whatso ever to text me, even random. U know I've not answered 1, and I feel so much better! You know, I don't know if we will get back together, I don't know if I want it at not, but that's my choice, but ask me 5 week ago and yes I would have been straight back. So my advice to anyone who experiencing a separation, the no contact rule. You will feel better, day 1 is the hardest. Just turn it around, they feel like they are been rejected and they can't stand it. No contact gives you breathing space, and u gain yourself respect back. So I'm thinking with a clear head... I might text him back in a week, tell him we need to speak, NOT TEXT. If he can't be bothered he not worth it, if he does I might have a complete different light on the situation. Good luck everyone xxx
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Oct 15, 2009, 02:38 AM
    Stick to the no contact and don't look back-he s 41 and he s texting a 17 year old?
    Move on and heal.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Oct 15, 2009, 02:43 AM

    Good for you! I would rethink even contacting him at all ,in the future, as a man who is 41 and chatting up a teenager has issues that are not going to disappear in a matter of weeks.
    Turn that NC into a life choice for good.
    It can only be a step up!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #9

    Oct 15, 2009, 06:43 AM

    Imagine how much more clear headed you'll be in 6 months of NC.

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