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    Winds87's Avatar
    Winds87 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 21, 2009, 01:44 PM
    Confused and Lost
    Well there is this girl I like and really care about her. Recently she got out of a 1 1/2 yr relationship and has been single for about 7 months. We're really good friends and I am close to her family.

    Right now she's not looking for anything right now because she has her mind set on being alone for a while and "staying away from the world".

    I know its not a good idea to ask her out or started something with her.
    Especially for the following reasons:

    1. She's student teaching in the Fall and just started her teaching career.
    2. She's still unstable and not herself to commit to somebody else.

    She doesn't have cable or internet at her place when she student teachs and is pretty much alone for the most part. Now when her and I talk she explains how she likes being away from the world... but at the same time... she gets frustrated or gets that some weird feeling about things again. Sounds confusing huh?

    Here's an example of her text:

    "Yeah just feeling weird about things again. I just don't want anyone worrying about me. There are more important things."

    My thing is... I really do care for her... but I don't want to sound desperate either. I know the best solution is be her friend for the time being.

    I just don't want to make things akwards and talk about her problems or tell her how much I care,etc. Because I'll sound like everybody else... according to her... worrying about her.

    Here's the thing... I want to show my care... but how? Do I just keep talking to her? Should I just talk about the good things about life or other stuff so she can her mind off things? I don't want to cut if off completely because what if my only shot to show her I care doesn't come through because I wasn't there for her. -thanx
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jul 21, 2009, 02:30 PM

    You be friends and let her take the lead in what she wants to talk about. Avoid the things she doesn't like talking about.
    Let her know you are a friend and she can call you any time, talk to you about anything and you will be there for her support. Then let it go and just be her friend.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Jul 21, 2009, 06:04 PM

    I see nothing wrong with liking some one as a friend, but its obvious from what you wrote, to keep a healthy distance from her, and have a lot of other things in your life. That's the only way to keep a good healthy perspective.

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