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    giambi25's Avatar
    giambi25 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 18, 2006, 08:34 AM
    Confused
    Hi I was engaged to a girl for about six months we dated for a year and lost a child together my family stared to not like her and it had a big affect on or relationship I ended up letting her leave and now I think that I made a big mistake how do I get over this and why did I let her go if she meant so much to me I didn't think I cared about her at all for the last couple of months of or relationship and kind of wanted her to leave why the change of heart and it has had a huge affect on my feelings towards my family what do I do
    jesee's Avatar
    jesee Posts: 25, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Oct 18, 2006, 08:38 AM
    Why did your familys opinion of her change you need to try to find that out and see if you understand why may be she changed are you afraid of being alone or do you really miss her
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #3

    Oct 18, 2006, 09:13 AM
    Yes - why did your family not like her? Families know better sometimes.
    giambi25's Avatar
    giambi25 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 18, 2006, 10:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wildcat21
    Yes - why did your family not like her? Families know better sometimes.
    They think she is a liar and that she gets around other than that I don't know why I have asked my mom and she won't give me a clear answer she is the one who introduced us

    Quote Originally Posted by jesee
    why did your familys opinion of her change you need to try to find that out and see if you understand why may be she changed are you afraid of being alone or do you really miss her
    They don't think she is a good mother she has a daughter that is not mine they think she is a liar and that she is a whore and yes I do hate to be alone
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #5

    Oct 18, 2006, 10:35 AM
    Not a good impression your family has.

    I think this might be the old - "in love with the relationship idea - but maybe not with her"

    Are your family good people? If so - they probably want the best for you. People aren't called liars until they lie.

    Did she cheat on you? WHy the break?
    giambi25's Avatar
    giambi25 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Oct 18, 2006, 10:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wildcat21
    Not a good impression your family has.

    I think this might be the old - "in love with the relationship idea - but maybe not with her"

    Are your family good people? If so - they probably want the best for you. People aren't called liars until they lie.

    Did she cheat on you? WHy the break?
    No she didn't cheat on me she just had a bad name from her hometown and yes my family are good people they say that they just want what's best for me even though I wonder sometimes and I do hate to be alone it makes me go crazy
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Oct 18, 2006, 01:06 PM
    Sorry for your loss, but I'm confused was this a misscarraige or a really bad accident?
    momincali's Avatar
    momincali Posts: 641, Reputation: 242
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    #8

    Oct 18, 2006, 01:24 PM
    You said this has had a huge effect on the feelings toward your family... are you blaming your family for her leaving??

    You also said more than once that you hate being alone... I think you have just answered your own question. You may not miss her so much as you miss a body being around...

    Not too much information given so its hard to answer.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #9

    Oct 18, 2006, 03:08 PM
    You NEED to learning to love yourself FIRST. I like to be alone a lot. I like the man in the mirror - I've worked on the man in the mirror. You must as well.

    No one can love you until you love yourself first. You have to like the things you do.

    It sounds like you don't like yourself?
    giambi25's Avatar
    giambi25 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Oct 18, 2006, 07:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    Soy fo you loss, but I'm confused was this a misscaaige o a eally bad accident?
    It was a miscarriage
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #11

    Oct 19, 2006, 06:29 PM
    You say you "let her leave." Did she initiate the breakup? If so, then she may have issues that you have no control over, in which case beating yourself up and pining over how to get her back is a total waste of time. Why did your family start to dislike her? Just because of the miscarriage? Did they think she got pregnant on purpose to try and trap you? Not that you want to let your family totally influence you but there may be good reasons they disliked her in consideration of her as a potential in-law. Also, consider the possibility that you may want her just precisely because she's gone. It's common to want what we can't have or don't think we can have.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #12

    Oct 20, 2006, 08:23 AM
    Cianci - right!

    This guy has some confidence issues. He needs to learn to love himself FIRST. Then this gal reall ywont matter.

    Got to love the man in the mirror.

    Do other things in your life- workout, hang with frineds, hang with family, work harder at work, school, new hobbies, old hobbies.

    There WAY more to life than this gal - and she doesn't seem like much of a keep fot you - you seem like a good guy and she doesn't deserve you.
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