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wenny27 · Aug 16, 2013, 01:21 AM

Hello everyone, me and my boyfriend planing to get married by end of this year, but I'm botherd about something, I mean we talk our future in all, we even talk for our future kids, but the thing is he never mentioned to me either we going to live with his parents house after we got married or we going to get our own house and start with our own.
My boyfriend hve 2 sisters and the eldest one she's married but she's still staying with her parents along with her husband, even she's asking my boyfriend to buy her a new flat TV (Bravia 65 inch) I don't really mind that..
Now my boyfriend asking me not to work after we got married, he said he will take care of everything I mean financial stuff like that, as he works in Microsoft , then I asked him what I'm going to do at home when you go to work I'll be alone, then my boyfriend said you will be with my mom don't worry. So I'm confused... I don't mind spending time with his parents I mean they are lovely people, but honestly I want to hve my own house or place and start to make my own family with my boyfriend.. what should I do, should I ask him about this or should I wait until we get married and see what my boyfriend plan for us...
I need some idea or opinion regarding this matter, I would really appreciate it thank you so much.

joypulv · Aug 16, 2013, 02:57 AM

I can't tell what country you live in (Thailand? Dubai?), but the kinds of questions you have asked about your boyfriend suggest that there is remarkably little communication between you. It does sound like he expects you to live with his parents, doesn't it? If he could buy a house, I can't imagine that you wouldn't know about it by now. I see no reason why you can't ask him - where are we going to live? Simple as that. And if you don't want to stay home and have babies at his parents, if you want to work at least for a few years, say so NOW.
As for the TV - I know that many cultures expect the men to buy things for other family members, and that is strange to me. We have had women come here whose husbands are broke because they had to buy a condo for their parents.

wenny27 · Aug 16, 2013, 03:24 AM

As of now, I'm working in Dubai and my boyfriend still in Thailand right now, but he will be back to Dubai few days from now. My boyfriend alwys travels because of his work. By next year we planning to settle down in New Zealand which his parents are there... that's why I'm confuse eather we going to stay with his parents or get our own place.. he never mentioned anything regarding this issue and I'm waiting for him to tell me I know he is very close to his family..

joypulv · Aug 16, 2013, 03:40 AM

OK, well you are avoiding my suggestion of just asking him.
And you are avoiding the idea of telling him you want to work.
So that's your choice?
You said you were confused, but don't seem to want to make a decision. I don't understand the idea of being afraid of a boyfriend. It doesn't have to be a fight.

wenny27 · Aug 16, 2013, 04:12 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

OK, well you are avoiding my suggestion of just asking him.
And you are avoiding the idea of telling him you want to work.
So that's your choice?
You said you were confused, but don't seem to want to make a decision. I don't understand the idea of being afraid of a boyfriend. It doesn't have to be a fight.

Thank you so much joypulv for the idea, I'm actually thinking about it, I mean I'm going to ask him when he get back here to Dubai and talk about this and let him also know that I still want to work while I'm not pregnant because actually he wants to have baby right after we got married. I'll let you know later on... thank you so much :)

N0help4u · Aug 16, 2013, 04:26 AM

I'd think that if he had a house in moms he would have discussed something with you by now, like area that he is thinking of moving, affordable house payments or something. As Joy said your going to have to ask. Maybe you could start with pointing to a house saying "someday I'd love a house like that......."