Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    sundownernv's Avatar
    sundownernv Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Nov 14, 2007, 09:19 AM
    Committed relationship
    My boyfriend and I have been living together 2 years now. I would like a commitment now, not get married, but at least the promise of marriage. He says we'll get married when we move in 5 years, which is fine, but I still want the engagement ring. I'd be happy with that. I'm not sure if he is committed to this relationship or if this is just a resting place for him until he decides to move on.
    Moomin's Avatar
    Moomin Posts: 167, Reputation: 19
    Junior Member
    		  
    #2

    Nov 14, 2007, 09:33 AM
    Your boyfriend IS showing a commitment to you by living together, you can not put pressure on him as this may drive him away!

    When the time is right I'm sure you will both know, try not to worry! One step at a time is needed here I think hun!

    Enjoy each others company with as little stress as possible!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
    		  
    #3

    Nov 14, 2007, 09:47 AM
    If he wanted to get married, he would have asked you and gotten you a ring at this point. And to be honest, what advantage to him is there to get married? He has you living there, so what extra benefit is it to him to get a license and pay for a wedding and so on.

    If you want a ring and marriage, you get the commitment beforer you move in. afterwards it is much harder to get.
    statictable's Avatar
    statictable Posts: 436, Reputation: 34
    Full Member
    		  
    #4

    Nov 14, 2007, 09:55 AM
    What were the last 2 years built on?
    Early in a relationship is the time to communicate our goals, directions, needs and expectations, if not related to that relationship then at least to relationships in general.

    If we are learning as we go there will be times when 2 people are in opposition.
    If we alone are "hoping" for commitment then we have to have faith.
    If our hopes are dashed we adjust our expectations to increase the chance of those hopes and dreams becoming realities.

    Sometimes you have to move on or continue to work within the framework you coauthored over the past 2 years.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
    		  
    #5

    Nov 14, 2007, 11:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    If he wanted to get married, he would have asked you and gotten you a ring at this point. And to be honest, what advantage to him is there to get married? He has you living there, so what extra benifit is it to him to get a license and pay for a wedding and so on.

    If you want a ring and marriage, you get the committment beforer you move in. afterwards it is much harder to get.
    My experience with living in and not having a solid comittment has been negative in the last ten years, so I'd have to agree that a 2 year trial-period needs to be taken further with at least a ring...

    Good luck dear.
    dataguneed's Avatar
    dataguneed Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
    New Member
    		  
    #6

    Nov 14, 2007, 07:09 PM
    Explain to him what you want and see if he wants the same in society today less people are getting married break it to him soon or he will get to comfortable in your situation
    '
Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions
 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

How to get someone committed [ 4 Answers ]

How do you get someone committed ? My sister is bipolar and is so up and down but will not stay in anywhere long enough to get the help she really needss.

How do I get someone committed? [ 10 Answers ]

Just that... how would I get someone committed?

How do I get someone committed? [ 22 Answers ]

My mother has had clinical depression for as long as I can remember but she has also been aggressive, threatening and vindictive for that long too. She does things to people in the family that I wouldn't even want to type here and then thinks that THEY are in the wrong. She is a threat to herself...

Committed Guys [ 8 Answers ]

Will I ever find a guy that wants a real relationship? That wants me and only me? Will I find a guy that I won't have to change for? Is it possible for guys to want only one girl? Physically and emotionally? Is it fair to ask for that?

Does this mean he's not committed? [ 7 Answers ]

My boyfriend and I (both 19) have been dating for a yr and a half. He plays hockey so if gone for the season. Hes drafted and is really concentrating on hockey. Meanwhile I'm really concentrating on my career. We've talked about making plans in the next yr (like sky diving and such), however,...

View more questions Search