FAIR WARNING, THIS IS LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

Ok, so my situation is this. I work at Pizza Hut and met my friend there around a year ago. We've become such great friends that we're planning on rooming with each other in an apartment near the college. She goes to the University, where as I have been going to community college (however, I will be attending the University in the Fall). She's been unhappy with her current roommate, and we've been talking about living together since this past fall. Now, she currently lives in a 3-bedroom/2-bath townhouse with 2 other people. One was her boyfriend (now ex), the other, her other friend. When we talked about living together, I never out right stated "YES! I'll move in with you!!" It was more of day dreaming, hoping that I could. Working at my job doesn't really leave me rolling in money; I'm living comfortably at home with what I make, however that will change once I begin attending University. When we first began talking about this, I was saying that I would take the baby room of the townhouse, paying the cheapest rent, which I could afford (around $250-$300). Now, the whole situation has switched. Now that her ex is moving out, and her other roommate has decided to live with someone else, its down to her and me. "This is perfect!" was my first thought.. until I found out how much I was going to have to pay. She's already decided the apartment (not taking into consideration anything thing outside of walking distance to campus), who gets what rooms, and everything. Now at my job, I average around $900 a month (this includes my tips and paycheck). The rent at this apartment is going to be $425, and with utilities, around $500 a month. I was worried at first, and was prepared to tell her that I didn't think I could afford it with what I currently made. But she had me wait to get my Financial aid back from the University to see if I would have any spare money. So I did, got my Financial Aid, and I probably will get around $1500 back a semester (at most); however, this money needs to go to my books and art supplies (since I am an Art Major). So I basically will have no money to help with rent. My friend gets around $18,000 in Financial aid, receiving a check from the school every sememster of $5000, plus, she works on campus and with me at PH. The two situations are completely different from one another. I again attempted to go to her, saying, I don't think I can afford this.. and she convienced me I could. My parents are VERY against me moving out, not because they don't think I'm ready, but they know I'm not financially stable enough to afford this.

In my mind, I'm SO ready to move out and live with my best friend. I am 21 and have been stuck in the boondocks, 30 minutes away from everything, driving to college everyday, and I'm sick of it. However, in the back of my mind, I have so many worries on whether I can afford this. On top of everything, my car is beginning to act up and I know its going to need some maintence sooner or later (I'm afraid either my breaks or transmission is going bad), not to mention new tires this summer, as well new tags and a new oxygen censor. I have around $2000 in my bank account now, and after all is said and done, I'll have around $1000-$1500. I've been looking for a second job to help save for an apartment, but its not looking so great. Assuming that I stick with just my one job, I'll probably have at most $3000 in my bank account by the beginning of August (this is taking out all my bills, rent to parents, and every day expenses). What my plan was, after my friend convinced me I could afford it, was to pay upright the first 5 months of rent ($2125), then save all I can for my next payment. I'm just starting to see how much this is really going to cost me.. I honestly think I could do it, but I really don't think I'll be able to do much going out, or buying things like us girls like to do. Haha. I'll be a crazy penny-pincher, only buying nessecities, and even then, that might not be enough for the next semester's rent. I'm not even going to be able to help decorate the apartment, which is something me and my friend were looking so forward to when we were "daydreaming" (That would kill the artist in me, not being able to help decorate the house). My parents have been against this from the start, and have even told me they would let me stop paying rent and help me buy a new car (this January) if I make the decision to stay home. What I want and what I need is not the same thing.

So after ALLLLLLL that, my question is this: how do I tell my friend that I can't live with her? She has no one else to live with (all her friends already have roommates) and she refuses to live on campus. Even then, I think its too late to get a dorm on campus. I'm so afraid that she'll hate me for doing this to her, and I don't want to lose my best friend. How do I handle this situation?

You can only be honest with her and tell her what you have told us here.

Then stand your ground,which I think you should have done before things went this far.

If she is a real friend,she'll understand.

If you cannot afford it because you don't want to eat Cheerios 3 times a day for the rest of the school year, then you have to be totally honest, and tell your friend the truth. You can't afford it. And if it cost you a friendship, then it wasn't much of one any way.

Friends don't talk friends into something they don't want to do for their own selfish purposes do they? Would YOU??

Sounds great on paper, until you do the math, so don't fall for her pie in the sky marketing of her agenda.

If you think telling her that you can't afford to move in will be bad, imagine a few months from now when you have to choose between making rent, continuing your education, or buying dinner because you got yourself into a bad situation and are broke.

She'll just have to do what other people do and search for roomates. Her finding roomates is not your responsibility.

You are going to have to tell her. This is when your friend's true colors will show. She will either be understanding of your situation like a true friend should or she will kick you to the curb (which means that she is worthless as a friend). Her problems are her problems, and you uve your own to worry about. First be able to take care of yourself before you even start thinking about taking care of someone else.

Good luck,
Javi