Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Andyb43's Avatar
    Andyb43 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 10, 2006, 04:32 PM
    Can't stop thinking about my ex
    I'd been going out with my girl for 2months, then one day she just turned around and said that she ' couldn't be bothered'. This was about 2 weeks ago. I tried my hardest, and did nothing wrong to her. This was my first serious relationship. Ever since we split, all I can think about is her, and it really upsets me, I've ended up in tears a few times. I could be out having a good time, and then I will just think of her, for no apparent reason. I really love her, but she doesn't love me. I don't know what to do, I just feel like crying all the time. I've tried to do things to distract me, but I always think of her. I feel really empty. I want 2 just move on but I can't. Any advice?

    Thanks
    Andyb43
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,880, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 10, 2006, 05:08 PM
    First love-
    First loves can be rough and not to bust your bubble its probably going to happen a few more times in your life and its going to hurt again and again!So you can cry about it or move on and learn from your mistakes.Just cause you love someone doesn't mean they'll feel the same, so count this as a blessing to look for someone who'll love you the same as you love them,I bet you'll take it a little slower next time huh!Bet you'll look a little deeper into the person too!A real relationship takes two,both sides getting a little something that they want and need ,its not enough to be in love and its only going one way!So lighten up on yourself a little and get busy with your life and look around and see all those females out there looking for what you have to offer.Your ex will fade in the background when you start to move your life forward! :cool: :rolleyes:
    letmeno's Avatar
    letmeno Posts: 215, Reputation: 23
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Jan 10, 2006, 05:43 PM
    I agree with Talaniman. In the dating/relationship game, you are going to meet some characters. Every individual that you meet and date will better prepare you for the next one. This is not the first time that you have been dumped, and it is not the last time either. It does not mean that you are a horrible person it only means that YOU were not the person for her. But hey, out there somewhere there is someone who is waiting on a person exactly like you. And the next person that you may have a relationship with, you may not like her at all but you will never be able to get rid of her:D That is just the way that life goes. It makes you stronger. Back up and leave her be. It will get better trust me.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Jan 10, 2006, 08:30 PM
    Wow. All that after only 2 months? That's not a very long time in the overall grand scheme of things. I think that there may be something else that's bothering you here, more so than your "love" for this girl. Perhaps a bruised ego? A lot of guys have a hard time accepting the fact that a girl would actually reject them. It hurts, but not for the right reason. I think you need to become a little more aloof and thicken your skin a little. Rejection is a part of life and you've got to be prepared to deal with it without taking it personally.
    Parvan's Avatar
    Parvan Posts: 27, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jan 11, 2006, 01:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Andyb43
    I'd been going out with my girl for 2months, then one day she just turned around and said that she ' couldn't be bothered'. This was about 2 weeks ago. I tried my hardest, and did nothing wrong to her. This was my first serious relationship. Ever since we split, all I can think about is her, and it really upsets me, I've ended up in tears a few times. I could be out having a good time, and then I will just think of her, for no apparent reason. I really love her, but she doesn't love me. I don't know what to do, I just feel like crying all the time. I've tried to do things to distract me, but I always think of her. I feel really empty. I want 2 just move on but I can't. Any advice?

    Thanx
    Andyb43

    Sucks man I can identify, My ex lied to me, probably cheated on me and then lied to me to try to get back together and I still can't stop thinking about her. I can tell you though it will pass. When me and my wife split I went through the same thing and it eventually got better. Just keep yourself occupied as mucha s possible spend some time with friends or family. Hope this helps.
    DJ 'H''s Avatar
    DJ 'H' Posts: 1,109, Reputation: 114
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Jan 11, 2006, 03:24 AM
    I know it's tough, but things will get easier and you will eventually move on.

    What you have to put into perspective is that you were together for only two months. At least she was honest with you now rather than two years down the line - things could have been a lot worse.

    Just carry on occupying yourself and doing all the things you used to do before you met her. Before long you will meet a wonderful girl who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them and your ex will ecome more than a distant memory.

    I have been there so have faith. You will be just fine, hang in there!
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,929, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Jan 11, 2006, 05:12 AM
    Ex
    Hi, Andyb,
    It is hard to get over someone and it does take some time.
    You will eventually meet someone who is just right for you. As others have answered, give it some time. The pain will begin to decrease, as you talk with others, and meet new girls.
    Talking about it is the best thing you can do, and I have been there, too,. done that.
    I do wish you the best, and hang in there; it will get better.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Jan 11, 2006, 11:16 AM
    Love is not developed in two months.

    It's smitten, it's lust... it's more the love of a relationship than loving that person.

    I think you like the IDEA and DREAM of a relationship than really that person.

    I bet if you really took an honest, close look at her you'd find a lot of fault and things you don't like about her - she probably knew this.

    Learn from this.

    Don't contact this gal either. Don't do it.
    bizygurl's Avatar
    bizygurl Posts: 522, Reputation: 110
    Senior Member
     
    #9

    Jan 11, 2006, 11:58 AM
    I understand your hurt, but this too shall pass. Eventually you will get over her. There isn't too much you can do when the other person doesn't return your feelings. There are so many other woman out there. Don't waste too much time over this girl. Go out and enjoy yourself.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
    Uber Member
     
    #10

    Jan 11, 2006, 12:04 PM
    I know having your heart broken can really bring a person down. In relationships, some last and some do not. It might be easy to say but this experience that you have will help you become stronger. You need to realize that each experience we have in life is a learning experience. What it is, is all in the outlook in life. The outlook of life. So you had 2 months of good times with this women. It did not last but what you need to be is thankful for that time you did have. Nothing is garenteed, nothing is garuanteed to last forever. What you need to do is say thank you for that experience. Look at it and then do your best to let it go. Think of it as if you do not let this girl go, you might miss out on the next love of your life that is really meant for you. She obvously right now in this time of your life is not meant for you. You need to have fun and think to yourself you are going to enjoy every moment of your life and enjoy every moment as if it your last. Live your life to the fullest and When you least expect it God will give you another gift of love. Appreciate every moment and think of it as a positive experience. Think of the good times and remember that old saying. There is plenty of fish in the sea.

    Joe
    alizeblu's Avatar
    alizeblu Posts: 174, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Mar 5, 2007, 10:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Andyb43
    I'd been going out with my girl for 2months, then one day she just turned around and said that she ' couldn't be bothered'. This was about 2 weeks ago. I tried my hardest, and did nothing wrong to her. This was my first serious relationship. Ever since we split, all I can think about is her, and it really upsets me, I've ended up in tears a few times. I could be out having a good time, and then I will just think of her, for no apparent reason. I really love her, but she doesn't love me. I don't know what to do, I just feel like crying all the time. I've tried to do things to distract me, but I always think of her. I feel really empty. I want 2 just move on but I can't. Any advice?

    Thanx
    Andyb43
    Wow man here's another case! You should really look at all the quotes ive responed to seriously! All the women are giving up man! Its ridiculous!
    I don't get it anymore this is like the 5th one where the girl wants to break up! What is this! Foolishness!!

    The only advice i can give you man is to occupy your time and take your emotional frustrations out on doing something positive. Its going to hurt and its going to take time. Wow i can't believe im saying this.

    Normally man, id tell you never to give up! But my beliefs are slowly starting to die, seriously you should look at everything ive responded to you'll understand why.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member
     
    #12

    Mar 5, 2007, 12:43 PM
    If a breakup AFTER TWO months lead you to tears... then oyu out WAY too much importance into someone you don't even know.

    They atre part of your life - not your life.

    You put a gal on a pedesta land she WILL run!! No woman wants that pressure.

    You pushed her away. If you're crying about it she definitely felt your nediness!! YUCK!!

    People want what they can't have - she had you - you were too available - she ran!!
    alizeblu's Avatar
    alizeblu Posts: 174, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #13

    Mar 5, 2007, 12:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wildcat21
    If a breakup AFTER TWO months lead you to tears.....then oyu out WAY to much importance into someone you don't even know.

    They atre part of your life - not your life.

    You put a gal on a pedesta land she WILL run!!! No woman wants that presure.

    You pushed her away. If you're crying about it she definitely felt your nediness!!! YUCK!!!!!

    People want what they can't have - she had you - you were too avaialble - she ran!!!!
    What! I completely dissagree with this guy!
    He never said he put the girl on a pedastul!
    He said she just up and left him for no apparent reason!
    Sounds to me like she's afraid of a good man!
    Women! Rrrrrr! Can't live with em,
    Can't live without em!

    And what are you trina say! Women like guys who just leave them alone and come when they want em! I swear u give her the space she needs, she complains you're too distant! You chill with her all the time, she complains that she needs space!
    Common! What is this!
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member
     
    #14

    Mar 5, 2007, 02:16 PM
    You have lots learn. I can see that.

    You don't get it - he put too much importance early on. 2 months is not a relationship.

    HE DEFINITELY put her on pedestal if he's crying about it now.

    You slowly over time build that up. In two months you still be dating other people.
    alizeblu's Avatar
    alizeblu Posts: 174, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Mar 5, 2007, 02:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wildcat21
    You have lots learn. I can see that.

    You don't get it - he put too much importance early on. 2 months is not a relationship.

    HE DEFINITELY put her on pedestal if he's crying about it now.

    You slowly over time build that up. In two months you still be dating other people.

    :confused: hmm... im confused. Well he never really gave specific detail, we are still assuming.

    Need more input!
    triplethreat's Avatar
    triplethreat Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #16

    Aug 8, 2007, 09:46 AM
    I really disagree with the people who have tried to make it seem like this guy wasn't in love or that he is a weak man for crying about the breakup. Stop judging, please. How do YOU know? Really! None of us were there and we don't know how intense the relationship was for him. It was his first love, and those are always particularly hard to get over. There is nothing wrong with crying when you are hurt and if you hold those emotions in you are going to really stunt your ability to move on. I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but it does get better. We aren't promised to live life and never feel pain or rejection, but we can always learn from our past. I believe that time and prayer heal the heart. Stay busy and get excited about YOUR LIFE and YOUR FUTURE. Think about what you learned from this woman and what your time together taught you about how YOU need to be loved in the future.
    lovedoctor's Avatar
    lovedoctor Posts: 12, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #17

    Jun 30, 2008, 12:50 PM
    I'm sorri about that, but remember you're a person and you deserve someone that appreciates and loves you and she obvisously doesn't but there is someone out there. For now you feel like everything is shatterd and that you feel like there is no one else that can feel that empty set, but that's your first love and understandable, but you learn from this experience and you move on. Right now be around your friends and make sure to live your life and enjoy it. Don't waste your time thinking about someone else when their not thinking of you. I hope everything works out, I'm sure you'll find someone
    wonderwoman01's Avatar
    wonderwoman01 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #18

    Jun 30, 2008, 02:20 PM
    I don't think you should consider 2 months anything serious. Talk with her, and be willing to take things slow. When a year has past... then that is serious.
    hotpinknike's Avatar
    hotpinknike Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #19

    Jan 29, 2009, 05:30 PM
    I disagree... I think in two months you can love someboday.
    Yosomoton213's Avatar
    Yosomoton213 Posts: 174, Reputation: 45
    Junior Member
     
    #20

    Jan 29, 2009, 05:54 PM

    Especially if you're young. But hey, first loves hurt the worst. What you do is learn from them.

    In time, learn to not sweat it so much by going out with friends and participating in activities. I volunteer, and I'm a member of collegiate athletics. I also tutor on the weekends. All of these activities are fun, and you forge some great friendships.

    Also, they increase your opportunity to meet girls. I'm talking to one right now that's really nice. Quite the polar opposite of my ex.

    The world is yours my mine. You just have to go out there and find it.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Employee way of thinking [ 4 Answers ]

I own a small business. I don't understand why some employees think the place can't run without them. I have terminated a few employees and every one of them have said that none of the customers will ever come back if they aren't there. I don't understand what their psychological make up is to make...

Thinking of leaving [ 9 Answers ]

Hi, to everyone here, I have read some the posts and answers and this site is great! Well, my post tonight is regarding my marriage.My husband and I have been married for 6 years with 3 children 14-5-2.Though we live a comfortable lifestyle, my marriage is not a good one... my husband is not home...

How will l stop thinking about someone l love [ 7 Answers ]

Hello to * ishme l have a love one that l can't stop thinging about her, *how will l stop thinging about her. And so that she will think about me. And if someone love you ,what are the sings that she show you that she love you.

Why am I thinking of this? [ 4 Answers ]

Hey, Adadfadf

Just thinking [ 4 Answers ]

My son is developmentally delayed. Since he got into Junior High, he has been getting into trouble. Mostly petty things. I'm considering home schooling him. I don't think he was ready for JH academically or emotionally. My questions have to do with how do I assess for myself where to start his...


View more questions Search