So I'm 15 and my parents have been divorced for a while now, I live half time with my mum and half time with my dad (swap over every week). My mum has had a boyfriend for a couple of years now and at first I didn't like him at all, well because I honestly think I was jealous but soon he moved in (which I wasn't happy about to begin with). After the jealousy had subsided I began to not mind him at all he acted like a mate instead of a father figure, mind you me and my mum are very close and she puts him in line when needed and says that we have a father and we don't need another.

A bit after my mum had got a boyfriend my dad had got a girlfriend, this was still all new to me so again I was very unhappy with this ( mainly because during the period he was single his relationship with me and my father grew so much closer ( he would kick the footy with us at the park after school and hang with us a lot and stuff like that). In fact one time we were at the park kicking the footy he said that if he got a girlfriend and my brother or I disliked her he would dump her, I don't hold him to his word because I realize how unfair that is on him. Any way prior to my parents splitting my mum and my dads girlfriend were actually close friends, she also worked at the same place as my dad for several years.

Soon my dad had built a house and she moved in along with it, instantly my hatred towards her grew stronger, it is no longer jealousy as I do not care if my father had another million girlfriends to come it is her, I cant stand her. Anyway she soon tried to become our mother ( setting out ridiculous rues, giving us housework, taking our belongings when she doesn't have her way). Such rules are we are not aloud any technology past 9:30 pm, max of 4 hours a day on technology on school holidays, all of these rules bypassed my father by the way.

My father always takes her side for everything and when I sit and try to tell him my feelings towards her he starts screaming and tells me to live full time with my mum. She is very immature, my mum is currently unemployed and she makes jokes about her all the time for it and my mother is doing a course this year and my dads girlfriend just keeps saying she isn't going to get a job afterwards. Pretty much everyone hates her besides my father( my brother is 13 and is too shy to tel my dad how he feels, my cousins won't come over because they dislike her, I fee bad for my brother as his friends parents won't allow them to come over as they do not like her because she tels everyone she is our step mother when she isn't and she has even caused a fight between our family and my aunty and uncle won't speak the my dad or her.

She is a passive smoker and tends to drink a lot, for my 15th birthday dad took me up to one of his mates farms for the weekend along with my best friend, my brother and my dads girlfriend. My dad was in a car with his mate and my brother, friend and I were with her and some other adult woman. We where 4 wheel driving and slowly they became drunk and we felt unsafe, she then began to start smoking in the car ( where I'm from that's illegal) and when we asked her to put it out she laughed. When we got back I told my father and he was very disappointed in her and they split only to get back together.

When they split I feel sorry for him but soon I become so happy as my father becomes a nicer person. How ever that doesn't last long as they always get back together within a month. She has put all these weird and sad paintings all around the house and dad hates them but he has no say. For the past 4 years every single argument between me and my father was about her. I try hard to like her but she is just so annoying, I'm 15 now and I'm not putting my big boy pants on or anything but like I said before when we don't do something she wants she takes our stuff away, my own mother thinks this is bizarre as I'm not 9 anymore.

I could go on for ages but I think I have written so much that people won't actually read this so I'm going to stop here, I'm just putting this out there because I need to talk about it please leave your comments and opinions

( I forgot to add that about a year ago me and my brother were messing around until it got out of hand then she came in and starting beating me with her shoe, it didn't hurt or anything but OMG I don't know what I would have done if I got a hold of that shoe)

So your issue is that you're not sold on your Father's girlfriend, but you're fine with your Mother's boyfriend.

The biggest cause for this that I can nail down is that you're feeling like your Father is trying to replace your Mother with StepMom, and she's not your mom whatsoever. Have you talked to your father about this? I know it isn't going to be easy, but your Bio-Dad and Bio-Mom need to talk and come up with a cohesive set of rules for you and your siblings. Then the StepParents need to know and follow these rules. Ie, bedtimes need to be consistent, meal time expectations need to be the same, dating/external socialization/curfew as well, are just examples. Both parents need to agree and get the StepParents on board as well or this will fall apart.

The last thing you need to consider is that your parents will always be a huge part of your life, and you will be a huge part of theirs. The problem is when you start carving out your own existence once you leave home and are not part of their day to day lives. Your parents are looking out for your happiness, but they need to consider their happiness because the person they're dating is the person who they're going to be living with for the rest of their lives. Maybe. It isn't to say that you're not important to them, but their mates are important to them as well. You and your siblings are a big part of their lives, but they're not ALL of it.

To sum up, complaining and venting is good for you, but it won't solve the problem. The Step parents are an evil you're going to have to learn how to deal with. You need to talk to your parents about this.

You show some good maturity of understanding, so I think you will survive the next 2 years, long suffering though they may feel.
All you can do is try harder to talk to your bio father when you are calm. If that really doesn't work, and he continues to tell you to either go live with your bio mom or just do what you are told by his girlfriend, then you have no choice but to stay out of her hair around the house. The rules don't sound so bad to me, but I'm old and ours were far stricter 55 years ago. (Housework is one biggie that boggles my mind - kids these days don't seem to do any! Of course you should. You will be the rest of your life, and it's also contributing to the 'free' room and board and phone and computer and all that stuff they give you!)
My sister and brother raised many kids who have had very similar rules (I didn't have children) and they are turning into wonderful adults. So I'm not going to give you much sympathy there.
At 15, you should be able to get out of the house, by bicycle or walking?
That's the basic idea of my whole solution: stay away from her as much as possible. In fact, start planning now what you can do for a job next summer. Most of us were working at 16. Good way to get away from fights and to save money for something big like a car or motorbike. It will be the last time in your life when you get to save money without paying for rent and food and untold other expenses.

Life really is unfair, and it doesn't stop being unfair when you leave home.

So you don't like the living at your dad's because you hate his girlfriend, the rules, the treatment, GOT IT.You hould be gratefulthings are better living with your mom, and understand the differences in your parents household and make the adjustment to obeying the rules of your dad's house, and stop expecting him, and his GF to be like your mom and her BF.

That's how you survive the next few years until you can call your own shots, and do, and live as you please. So drop the rebellious, resentful teen, because you will never change your dad, or his GF, just keep them mad at your attitude. The only thing you have control over in this situation is your own attitude and actions, and while I get it's maybe not the best situation for you, you owe it to yourself to do the best you can to make it work better, by being better yourself.

You are no different than any other kid caught up in their parents divorce and have to deal with the differences in split families, so make the best of it because griping gets you nowhere. Whether you like your dad's rules or the way he wants you to behave in his house, OR NOT do it anyway, because that's what you are supposed to do, and expected to do.

TRY HARDER!!!!!!!!!

Your dad's girlfriend is your father's girlfriend. She is not your step-mother. You are correct about that.

I do not believe it is her place, to be a mother to you. It is your father's place, and your mother's place. The two of them should be deciding and agreeing upon discipline, homework, chores, etc. and it should be consistent in both their houses.

Your mother's boyfriend, and your father's girlfriend, have no place in the raising of you kids. You have been put in a terrible position, where those in charge are not in charge, and they are being negligent in their parental responsibilities.

Both boyfriend and girlfriend should be aware of what the rules are, and should feel free to talk to their respective partners, who in turn should speak to each other to solve any problems that come up. It is your parents who are legally responsible for you- NOT their girlfriends or boyfriends.

It seems nobody respects boundaries here.

If I were you, try to see if your parents will agree to counseling to help establish better communication, in order to raise you kids in a consistent manner. Their partners can be supportive, loving, kind, and willing to help- but NOT decide on decisions that should be made only by the parents.

My opinion is if the girlfriend and/or boyfriend cannot see where they fit into this mess, they should be gone. The kids should come first.