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kisstalmeth520 · Apr 22, 2009, 09:35 PM

so my boyfriend is a pastors son. He prays beautifully. Every time he asks me to pray out loud in front of him I start crying because I get so nervous.few hours ago he asked me to pray for our relationship. I wanted to pray but I just feel what ever I say is going to sound stupid. I can pray in front of my friends.. I don't know I'm starting to doubt our relationship because of our communication. I feel like I can't express myself, he got very upset because of this. But I told him I'm not praying in front of him to be mean its like a fobia or a mental block and yes jesus is my lord and savior and I do pray silently I just feeel like I'm giving a speech in front of an audience and I get nervous and choke. I am religious. I do go to church but I get nervous when I'm asked to pray... advice, am I being dumb, help =[

lighterrr · Apr 22, 2009, 09:39 PM

Not at all hun and you sound young also. Talk to him and tell him how praying in front of him makes you nervous. Because he is the pastors son you feel like your prayers may not be as deep/significant as his and this makes you nervous and anxious. Even jesus believed that honesty was the best policy.

kisstalmeth520 · Apr 22, 2009, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by lighterrr

Not at all hun and you sound young also. Talk to him and tell him how praying in front of him makes you nervous. Because he is the pastors son you feel like your prayers may not be as deep/significant as his and this makes you nervous and anxious. Even jesus believed that honesty was the best policy.

I should have just done the prayer I just got so nervous... he thinks its because its not important to me but it IS! I understand that prayer is important but I'm just shy! Why can't he understand that?

lighterrr · Apr 22, 2009, 10:03 PM

Originally Posted by kisstalmeth520

i should of just done the prayer i just got so nervous... he thinks its because its not important to me but it IS!! I understand that prayer is important but im just shy! why can't he understand that?

Communicate with him just like you are letting us know how you feel about praying in front of him makes you nervous/anxious tell him the same thing, you can even you those exact words, that you wrote in you original post :).

It seems to me that he just does not understand your level of discomfort and you neeed to verbalize it to him, because he is not a mind reader like jesus:D

Wondergirl · Apr 22, 2009, 10:13 PM

Originally Posted by kisstalmeth520

i should of just done the prayer i just got so nervous... he thinks its because its not important to me but it IS!! I understand that prayer is important but im just shy! why can't he understand that?

I'm a minister's daughter.

Prayer is not a performance. It sounds like that is what he expects of you, like you are on stage and must perform. Actually, prayer is a very personal activity that you have with your God. God hears what is in your heart, and doesn't care how beautiful your words are. Prayer is also practicing the presence of God, meaning your conversations with Him are constant, and how you treat other people is a form of prayer.

It sounds like your boyfriend isn't very concerned about your relationship with God as he is on how comfortable you are on stage. It also sounds like your boyfriend enjoys one-upping you in the "beautiful prayer" department. Prayer isn't a contest. Reminds me of a woman I knew years ago who would occasionally kneel down in a grocery store aisle and noisily thank God for all the food. Jesus had something to say about showy prayer.

kisstalmeth520 · Apr 22, 2009, 10:35 PM

Wondergirl;1685838]I'm a minister's daughter.
Prayer is not a performance.It is a very personal activity that you have with your God. God hears what is in your heart, and doesn't care how beautiful your words are. Prayer is also practicing the presence of God,

This is very true, both of you all keep me in your prayers and our relationshipaswell I will keep you posted and try to keep this in mind next time I pray in front of him thank you so much for your help

Gemini54 · Apr 22, 2009, 11:52 PM

What's with your boyfriend's control issues around praying?

Next he'll be telling you you don't breathe right.

I don't come from your religious background, but my sense is that his criticism is not really about your praying. He wants to control and humiliate you regarding something you're insecure about.

I agree with the other posters, talk to him about it. If he doesn't have the compassion and caring to understand your feelings, then he's no real pastor's son.

No offence, but if he continues to behave like this after you've spoken with him - he's an inconsiderate jerk and you are better off without him. He's only causing you angst.

talaniman · Apr 23, 2009, 10:28 PM

I would watch a guy who is that uncaring about your feelings. If he really cared, he would understand and support, with kindness. Not make you feel bad. Tell him you don't like it when he acts that way.

How dare he try to come between you, and your God!!

Zorky · Oct 26, 2010, 12:21 AM

Hi. First of all. Where in the bible did God write you are allowed to date?
Secondly he is the Pastors son he should know better. The bible speaks only of courtship. Courtship means the period before you get married.
Go study it or Search Paul Washer on Courtship. Please don't be deceived. The devil get us to believe we can date as youngsters but its demonic.
Are you getting ready to marry this guy? Are the plans made yet?? NOT? Checking if it will work out. WRONG.! My prayer is that this will open your eyes and go study this. Dating didn't come in before the 1900's. Please.