I was with this guy for four years and we were very happy. I'm a mother of three children who need a lot of attention, and guidance which seemed to get in the way of this guy, and he isn't children friendly, although he had older children. Well I decided to suggest a break for a while, so I could gather my thoughts as to where we were going in this relationship.

So I left it a week, and discovered he met someone else. I was shattered, as I didn't want to split. I wanted just a break. Unbeknown to me, he thought I meant a break break.

Well its been three years, and I can't get this guy out of my head. I did suggest we meet for a coffee, and we did. It was really nice coffee and real chat. So relaxed, and he was full of compliments to my hair, figure, etc.

We both are in relationships, so I wouldn't even consider making a move with him, but I can't get him out of my head, or mind, constantly thinking about him.

Do any of you have any advice, or tips?



Edited/T

Why do I suspect you are still having some sort of contact with each other? He seems to have taken the opportunity to move on rather fast, as a week is really quick, so he had a foot out the door any way, NO DOUBT. So its you still holding on.

Stop all contact with him, and focus on the relationship you are in, which must not be so good if you are still having these feelings for the ex, and entertain ideas, and even go so far as to go behind your current partners back, to see what's left of what you had.

That's unacceptable, and unfair. Whatever is going on in your life now that has you wishing for your ex, you better resolve it before you start looking around for other options.

And accept your ex is gone, and with another, and leave him completely alone.

I'm not having a affair so meeting up isn't a case of behind a back... you made it sound as if we were up to no good we met we had coffee and it was relaxed no thing more than that... more to the point why did he agree to meet with me if he is so happy in his relationship? I enjoyed his company but just to wipe him off the its hard I never had these feelings before and not sure it's the feelings... my current relationship its been three years and he isn't relaxed very tense a lot of the time and nothing seems easy.. I do struggle in this relationship and yes we talk and talk

Also bear in mind this was our first meet and we hadn't been in contact

Do you really need this distraction? If its been three years then why even meet up period? And I doubt your current guy would see this as innocently as you make it sound, and its not. Regardless, take care of what you have first, and don't worry about his relationship, or his motives for agreeing to meet you.

Not questioning your intentions, or motives, but you better be careful following your feelings. Feelings often lead to bad behavior, though you didn't INTEND it to, and mistakes, and assumptions. You still don't question it took him a WEEK to have another girl already?? Come on now, see all the facts before you make those important decisions.

How can you ignore the FACT that you needed a break before, and he never came back all those years ago. What's changed in all those years? Sorry, but ignoring all the red flags is never a good choice.

I agree, why is it that you are still trying to hold on when he has already move on? Maybe if you put efforts into your new relationships instead of trying to formulate how to get him back you would be able to move on as well. Stop communicatoin and never look back, it is not respecting his relationship because your intentions are clear, and is not respecting the person who you are with either.

Good Luck,
Javi