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Ram1980 · Jun 30, 2012, 02:22 PM

I come form a highly conservative family. I never knew a girl before. Never had any kind of affairs, no girlfriend either and never dated any woman all through my life. Ours is an arranged marriage, now into two years.
But very recently I came to know about my wife's past affair with her classmate during her engineering days. She was involved with him and had an affair for nearly seven years. After questioning repeatedly, she finally agreed and says their affair was limited to kisses and hugs only most of the time and had sex very few times. Saying this she cried.

It's nearly two weeks now and my wife talks and behaves normally. I think I am slowly feeling the punch and this is beginning to hurt a lot. Feeling very sad depressed and even at time SCARED .
Yes, feeling SCARED (about what - I don't know). Scared of everything.. scared of heights, scared of water, scared of traffic... scared of every damn thing.
Unable to concentrate on work.

Frequently feeling so much pain in the chest... can hear my own heart beating.
I don't know what's happening to me. I feel completely lost... Losing interest on everything... hating myself.

Want to hurt myself badly...

WisperWill70 · Jun 30, 2012, 04:20 PM

Infidelity is something that couples can get through.. - just expect yourself to feel lots of emotions and reactions - some of which may hit you later on. This was a big shock, especially since your relationship experience was limited before.

That's not the most important thing though: - Right now - you need to seek out a professional counselor to deal with your fears and anxieties because you are thinking of hurting yourself and because your fears have expanded outside your marriage to include uncontrollable life-stopping anxiety about all kinds of other things. Instead of dealing with the shock, you're turning guilt and fear inwards against yourself.

Please seek help. You are worth it. Once you get a handle on these feelings then you can take the steps to deal with the revelations of emotional infidelity and work your relationship - as well as patterns inside of you that may be sapping yourself esteem. Take care of yourself first.

Wishing you the best - you're not alone.