Hi I was engaged for a year to a wonderful girl, Because of family on both sides we tended to argue a lot and everyone said we always seemed to be in a fight. I was head over heels for this girl. Everything was going great besides the constient fights here and there I don't think I was ever that happy honestly. The next thing I know things took a turn for the worst. She got a new job that I helped her find working at a putput golf joint. She seemed to lover he job and I was happy for her. Then she started staying later and talking about her manager... way way... too much... It started freaking me out so I made comments here and there because that's how I deal with stress. "you like him" Blah blah , and she would deny it.. Then she decided to go to his hosue to play a group game with his friends and such *some sort of DnD thing >.>* That was fine I didn't want her to go but I didn't want to be controlling... Then she started coming home after three in the morning... the latest it would take her to get home was 11 if she wanted...

Then she decided she wanted him to teach her some sort of martial arts... and I saw her less...

She ended up leaving me a few months later for this guy. She told me she didn't love me anymore... That it was just gone and she didn't know where it went... She couldn't and won't ever love me again. During the break up, we were separated for a week and I got her back.. I did a lot to try to change everything, took her dancing (learned to dance) since she wanted to and so on... lol and we had sex. At the end of that week she left again and told them she couldn't do ti she was fakeing just to make me happy.. then I asked her about the sex... she said she was just horny...

It wasn't normal of her it was like her whole person changed.

After that I laid fof everything, I started breaking all the contacts I had to her, burning pictures... basiclly anything.

Its been about 8 months and I'm now with someone new who treats me right, She's fun, and is someone id love to be with. :D But I still love my ex fiencee and miss her. It still kills me that she left be for her manager who was way older then me... (she was 18 he's 29) I still get sick over it.. When ever I get or try to get close with this new girl I have anxiety attacks and freak out. Its not her fault at all and I really care about her. I just want this to be over...

I don't sleep, if I do I wake up from the same nightmare I have as she was leaving me.. * I begged her, like screaming pleading and her face stayed the same like I was talking to a wall and that messed me up*

Ive stopped seeing a theropyst since every time I went he made be feel stupid.

:( If anyone has any suggestions or advice about how I could get over it, or just try to hang on and not feel so crazy share. Its been pretty rough and the same old people are kind of tierd of hearing me talk about it or ways to get over...

My ex is still with the same guy and wrote me recently telling me she's finally getting her own place with a yard, that this guy is getting her... and a new cell blah blah, I didn't know it was even her when I read it at first... since then its been really bad...

Thanks for any help, I hope I'm not as crazy as I feel...

Its not fair to the new girl I'm with and really I just want it to go away :(

Thanks!

You probably needed to give yourself more time.

Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum, for some good suggestions about how to move on, by those who have been there, and healed.

There is a link in my signature, if you need it. Let us know about any questions you still have.

Thanks I Will :D Um I do have one question I guess people can give me some advice. Should I Stay with the girl I'm with? We have talked thoroughly about the situation and she will stay unless I make her leave. She wants to help me. I just don't want to hurt her. I want to be close to her and be happy with her but I know it'll take time. Would it be better for me to end ti to keep her from getting even more hurt if I don't get myself out of this or would it be OK for me to be with her and work on this problem together?

Dude, there is always the danger of making her a crutch to get over the ex, or a rebound, and you changing your mind later, as you get through this.

I don't recommend a relationship, but staying honest, and keeping it real, with this female is an absolute must, so don't go leading her on, or being dishonest, just to have someone in your time of need.

Now if your not mature enough, or man enough to take responsibility for your own happiness, and actions, then my friend, things will get really messy, and someone will get hurt, so be honest with yourself how you feel, and be completely honest with her.

In my opinion, you were far too young to be engaged to the first girl in any case. There's almost no way in this day and age that a woman at 18 is going to be content with her relationship and life status a few years down the road.

Just enjoy this new relationship for what it is. Your fear is that you'll get in very deep again and get burned. Let yourself get serious as it feels right, but don't go assuming that you'll be engaged again before you know it. At your age, give yourself several years to decide if you're right for each other, and get yourself started in LIFE. I understand that in some areas (in every state0 of the country (assuming USA here) it is more common to marry young than in others - but don't feel pressured to do that if you aren't ready for it.

Yeah, but that's the one thing I have done. Before she got with me I had a long disscusion about it and what we'd/she'd be getting into. So we do talk about it and I am honest.

I guess I just needed to know there's a chance it could turn out good because I uselly over think and over stress things which makes any small situation worse.

Anyway Thanks :)

(and yes it'll take some/ a lot of time before anything major happens agian)

When you give yourself a chance to do thee right thing by yourself, good things can happen.