First time I've posted, but I appriciate any help I can get because I truly feel helpless...

I cannot get over my ex. He broke up with me one year ago. We never fought, had lots in common, and the physical side of the relationship was incredible. He ended things because he said “something was missing” and he has never been able to make me understand what that is. Over the last 10 months we have been sleeping together on occasion. He tells me I am his weakness. He looks at me like he loves me. I know it is wrong that I do it and it only hurts me in the end, but I am weak and give in to him because for that moment, it lets me be with him.

To make matters worse, we work together so I see him on a daily basis. I am always aware of what he is up to whether it is plans with friends, or if he is going on dates. We have mutual friends as well so we often end up at the same dinners, parties, etc. Even our mutual friends don't understand why we are not together because they see the chemistry we have and always ask us "why aren't you together". It feels impossible for me to forget about him.

We are not back together but, we have maintained a friendship and I believe have actually gotten closer and have gotten to know each other better in the last year (we were in a short term relationship to start). He honestly has all of the qualities I am looking for in another person and I have such strong loving feelings for him – more than anyone else that has been in my life. This makes me very pessimistic when it comes to believing there is someone better out there for me. I honestly want nothing more than for him to come to me and tell me I am the one and that he wants to be with me, but my head knows that isn't happening, or it would have happened already. I just don't know what to do. He can literally make or break my day and he has no idea. He is always on my mind and I need to move on, but just don't know how.

I've been there. I think you already know what you need to do to get through this... you have to cut off ties with him. That doesn't just mean to stop sleeping with him, it means to find a new job (if possible), change your phone number, etc. This is the hardest thing to do... I had to move to an entirely different city 300 miles away just to get over my ex, because otherwise I would be tempted to drive to his house and see him.

I know this is hard, but you are wasting precious time by not doing it. If he is really the one for you, it will be very, very apparent to him when you are gone for good. If not, you will have saved a lot of time and heartache, and proved to him and YOURSELF that you are strong enough to be without him.

I do suggest, however, that you make sure whatever you do, that you have plenty of good friends around to support you. Being lonely will just make you tempted to call him.

He may be a nice guy but that doesn't ever justify you putting him on a pedestal. He's just a guy and you have to remember that ; don't make him out to be more than what he is. When you make comments like "this makes me very pessimistic when it comes to believing there is someone better out there for me" it suggests that you've done just that. You can bet your last dollar that there is someone out there who's just as good or better. You've got to develop and project that confidence ; only then will you have successful relationships.

You need to stop sleeping and hanging around him until you heal and are over him. By you doing this, he will always be on your mind. NOt healthy if you want to get over him. My ex fiancé broke up with me 9 months ago and although I do think of her some times it's not all day. You need to wake up and start thinking of you or he will one day find someone and you will be left in the dust hurt. And then it will take you that much longer to get over him.