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    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 22, 2015, 06:58 AM
    Can I get a restraining order for this?
    I want to know can I get restraining order or Peace bond for this. So I am in love with this girl from last 1 yr. We went out for like 4-5 months. I did everything for her a true lover can do. I even helped her with her finance's when she was in real trouble. I lent her $1000's.(but I don't have any proofs for that cause I paid it in cash). So after going out with 4-5 months she cheated on me and had a new boyfriend. But she continuously chatting with me. I was thinking she will come back. But she shut me off. Which made me extremely frustrated and on the top all she refused to pay me back anything. I texted this BF about this and he defended her. I also sent flowers, chocolates, even diamond jewellery to her house where she lives with his BF.

    But then she had a serious fight with her BF (NOT BECAUSE OF ME) and he left her. And then it begins again but in the other way. She started texting me and she texted me for like 4 months. Until I again start talking to her. I had strong feelings for her and they came back once we start talking. But when I finally got ready to hangout with her again. But than she suddenly stopped talking to me again and start giving me other reasons for not talking. But eventually she told me she is back with this BF again and should not interfere in her life. But I want to talk to his boyfriend again about all this. Can she do anything legal if I tell her boyfriend about all this. I again feel really emotionally fooled by her and really frustrated about this.

    Update: NOTE. - I never used any abusive words, threatened her about anything. I just send her emotional messages that I love her. I never lived with her. I just told her I will talk this BF about this. She threatened me to ruin my life if I do that. I sometime also visit his fast food chain where she works to eat. I do nothing else.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Jul 22, 2015, 07:06 AM
    You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 22, 2015, 07:14 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.
    But than why she is playing with my heart. She has played with my emotional twice.

    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.
    She even not giving me back my stuff my money, dimond bracelet that I gave her
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    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #4

    Jul 22, 2015, 07:31 AM
    Cut your losses. Neither the money or bracelet was a loan.

    Block her and go No Contact. Don't be a creeper unless you want to see her boyfriend's fist up close.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 22, 2015, 07:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Cut your losses. Neither the money or bracelet was a loan.

    Block her and go No Contact. Don't be a creeper unless you want to see her boyfriend's fist up close.

    He cant even touch me, I taught him a good lesson once when he was trying to bully me. I am not creepy, I am just a bit emotional. She was texting me for last 4 months and than suddenly turned a total to me like I am nobody. Its really hurt full and hard to forgive. When u get treated like this. I really don't know what to do. But can u please tell if I just talk her BF can she take any legal action against me.
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    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #6

    Jul 22, 2015, 07:46 AM
    Stop being a creeper and leave them both alone.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jul 22, 2015, 07:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Stop being a creeper and leave them both alone.
    Well I am really hurt, cant even sleep and crying for like last 4 days and 100s of messages have been exchanged by the way her and me since than. But we were only fighting and blaming each other and now she won't even reply me anything. I guess I am going to a depression. I never deserved to be treated like this for loving her so much. She turned completely stranger.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #8

    Jul 22, 2015, 07:57 AM
    I understand you are hurt, but meddling in their relationship isn't the answer.
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    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jul 22, 2015, 08:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    I understand you are hurt, but meddling in their relationship isn't the answer.
    But my fool heart still wants her back and I am hoping she will understand my feeling and sooner or later she will be back. But I don't want to like this. I hv just stopped enjoying the life.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
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    #10

    Jul 22, 2015, 08:14 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by harry7171 View Post
    I want to know can I get restraining order or Peace bond for this. So I am in love with this girl from last 1 yr. We went out for like 4-5 months. I did everything for her a true lover can do. I even helped her with her finance's when she was in real trouble. I lent her $1000's.(bt I don't hv any proofs for that cause I paid it in cash). So after going out with 4-5 months she cheated on me and had a new boyfriend. But she continuously chatting with me. I was thinking she will come back. But she shut me off. Which made me extremely frusted and on the top all she refused to pay me back anything. I texted his BF about this and he defended her. I also sent flowers, choclates, even diamond jewellery to her house where she lives with his BF.

    But than she had a serious fight with her BF (NOT BECAUSE OF ME) and he left her. And than it begins again but in the other way. She started texting me and she texted me for like 4 months. Until I again start talking to her. I had strong feelings for her and they came back once we start talking. But when I finally got ready to hangout with her again. But than she suddenly stopped talking to me again and start giving me other reasons for not talking. But eventually she told me she is back with is BF again and should not interfere in her life. But I want to talk to his boyfriend again about all this. Can she do anything legal if I tell her boyfriend about all this. I again feel really emotionally fooled by her and really frustated about this.
    Update: NOTE. - I never used any abusive words, threatened her about anything. I just send her emotional messages that I love her. I never lived with her. I just told her I will talk his BF about this. She threatened me to ruin my life if I do that. I sometime also visit his fast food chain where she works to eat. I do nothing else.
    Hi!

    She's a huge Drama Llama! Stay away from her, seriously. Cut all contact, harden your heart, and move along. You're currently throwing good money, in both a real and emotional sense, after bad money with her.

    You've spent several thousands of dollars with her, and it looks like you're trying to buy her affections. She's with someone else right now. Just move along, this woman has drama written all over her.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #11

    Jul 22, 2015, 08:24 AM
    Isn't saying that you are going to talk to her boyfriend a threat? What are you going to tell him? That while they were not a couple she tried contacting you? That she broke off contact (or tried to) with you when she got back with him? That she kept gifts that you freely gave her?

    You go to his restaurant, why? To watch her and him because they both work there? There are other places to eat. Eating there is only making you feel worse.

    You were with her for about five months and invested more money and items into it than you should have. Frankly, it sounds like you attempted to buy her affection and it didn't work. I am not certain the relationship was as committed as you wanted it to be.

    I don't know if she used you or not. I don't know her side of the story and you cannot tell me her side. What you would say would be biased by your own interpretation.

    Now, she wants you out of her life and relationship and you have to abide by that decision. Telling her boyfriend anything for any reason, just makes you look like a jealous and vindictive person.

    Let her go. Let the pain and the hurt go. Stop feeding the thought of being a victim and wanting her to pay for the mistakes you made in investing way too much way too soon in that relationship. Learn from the lesson. Be more careful in the future.

    Get in touch with friends and family, go out and meet new people. Make new memories. Get involved in your own life instead of trying to stay in hers. Stop chaining yourself to the past. I know it isn't easy, but the future hold so much hope for new beginnings if you give it and yourself a chance.

    First thing to do, delete all contact information for her. Block her number or send messages to a file that you can delete without reading or listening to. Then get some friends/family together and go out for some fun and entertainment. Allow yourself to laugh.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
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    #12

    Jul 22, 2015, 08:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by harry7171 View Post
    But my fool heart still wants her back and I am hoping she will understand my feeling and sooner or later she will be back. But I don't want to like this. I hv just stopped enjoying the life.
    Okay. Tough love. Quit whining. I know how you feel, I have been there, but nothing good can come of this. Distract yourself, pick up a new hobby, pick up some pron and have a good wank, call your friends and have a good bender at the local dive, get out of the house and meet new people. Your heart is dumb, most of them are, they don't see the rational side because they don't want to. They don't see what is really going on because they want to feel the passion. You need to distance yourself from this emotionally and physically. Until you do that you're like an addict that can't get away from the heroin.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jul 22, 2015, 08:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by CravenMorhead View Post
    Hi!

    She's a huge Drama Llama! Stay away from her, seriously. Cut all contact, harden your heart, and move along. You're currently throwing good money, in both a real and emotional sense, after bad money with her.

    You've spent several thousands of dollars with her, and it looks like you're trying to buy her affections. She's with someone else right now. Just move along, this woman has drama written all over her.
    This is so true that girl is a drama, whenever she is in trouble I am the first one she comes for help, she takes advantage of my feelings for her. But I loved her, even when I date other girls I cant forget her. I really don't know how should I overcome this. I am not even talking to other girls who texts me. But I really want to get over this thing but I really don't know how.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
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    #14

    Jul 22, 2015, 08:32 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by harry7171 View Post
    This is so true that girl is a drama, whenever she is in trouble I am the first one she comes for help, she takes advantage of my feelings for her. But I loved her, even when I date other girls I cant forget her. I really don't know how should I overcome this. I am not even talking to other girls who texts me. But I really want to get over this thing but I really don't know how.
    Time. Honestly, this is still burning brightly in you and every time you two connect it burns hotter. Give it time and it will pass.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Jul 22, 2015, 08:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    Isn't saying that you are going to talk to her boyfriend a threat? What are you going to tell him? That while they were not a couple she tried contacting you? That she broke off contact (or tried to) with you when she got back with him? That she kept gifts that you freely gave her?

    You go to his restaurant, why? To watch her and him because they both work there? There are other places to eat. Eating there is only making you feel worse.

    You were with her for about five months and invested more money and items into it than you should have. Frankly, it sounds like you attempted to buy her affection and it didn't work. I am not certain the relationship was as committed as you wanted it to be.

    I don't know if she used you or not. I don't know her side of the story and you cannot tell me her side. What you would say would be biased by your own interpretation.

    Now, she wants you out of her life and relationship and you have to abide by that decision. Telling her boyfriend anything for any reason, just makes you look like a jealous and vindictive person.

    Let her go. Let the pain and the hurt go. Stop feeding the thought of being a victim and wanting her to pay for the mistakes you made in investing way too much way too soon in that relationship. Learn from the lesson. Be more careful in the future.

    Get in touch with friends and family, go out and meet new people. Make new memories. Get involved in your own life instead of trying to stay in hers. Stop chaining yourself to the past. I know it isn't easy, but the future hold so much hope for new beginnings if you give it and yourself a chance.

    First thing to do, delete all contact information for her. Block her number or send messages to a file that you can delete without reading or listening to. Then get some friends/family together and go out for some fun and entertainment. Allow yourself to laugh.
    When Ever I try to block her on Facebook I think what if she would like to come back to me how will she contact me. I remember her cell no. so I can delete to from my cell but not from my mind. I was almost over her before she start texting me again. Now it has got even worse.

    And it is partially true I was trying to buy her affection for me from all this money and gifts.But I could not leave her struggling. I used to feel pain when she get hurt and I told her it is an unconditional help. I don't want her to do anything for me and Don't want to like me for money I just want her to like for me. . I thought she will realise my trueness.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #16

    Jul 22, 2015, 09:22 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by harry7171 View Post
    When Ever I try to block her on Facebook I think what if she would like to come back to me how will she contact me. I remember her cell no. so I can delete to from my cell but not from my mind. I was almost over her before she start texting me again. Now it has got even worse.

    And it is partially true I was trying to buy her affection for me from all this money and gifts.But I could not leave her struggling. I used to feel pain when she get hurt and I told her it is an unconditional help. I don't want her to do anything for me and Don't want to like me for money I just want her to like for me. . I thought she will realise my trueness.
    harry, you need to make the decision that you don't want her back. Some part of you will always care about her. Emotions fade but the traces will still be there. It is part of being capable of loving others. It is part of what makes our ability to care grow. However, caring about someone doesn't mean they are will make a good partner for you.

    I want you to think about something. Do you care for her as an equal or because you could be her 'knight in shining armor' when she was a 'damsel in distress'? Did helping her make you feel good and feed your ego? It may be difficult because there will be part of you that may be screaming it is love, but a more rational part may be seeing the relationship in a different light.

    I think you have a large heart that is looking for something to take care of. So, I am going to suggest that you get involved in volunteering. Helping those who need your help but where there is not thought of romantic entanglement.

    On the romance side, give your attention and energy (not money or gifts-save those for people you know care about you such as long term friends and family) to those who are looking for an equal partner. Stay away from those looking for a rescuer or parental figure. In a healthy relationship there will be give and take in all things, but those who are looking to be taken care of from the very start are not the ones who will work with you. They are the ones who will take from you.

    Don't rush into another relationship. Have fun going out with no strings attached and getting to know other females. Work on creating a foundation of friendship. If there is a spark of attraction, the see where it goes. The worst that will happen is you will make new friends/acquaintances and learn more about what you want and don't want in a relationship.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Jul 22, 2015, 10:36 AM
    Thanks for your suggestions, I already blocked her on Facebook and with time I will forget her no. too. I am really trying to move on now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    harry, you need to make the decision that you don't want her back. Some part of you will always care about her. Emotions fade but the traces will still be there. It is part of being capable of loving others. It is part of what makes our ability to care grow. However, caring about someone doesn't mean they are will make a good partner for you.

    I want you to think about something. Do you care for her as an equal or because you could be her 'knight in shining armor' when she was a 'damsel in distress'? Did helping her make you feel good and feed your ego? It may be difficult because there will be part of you that may be screaming it is love, but a more rational part may be seeing the relationship in a different light.

    I think you have a large heart that is looking for something to take care of. So, I am going to suggest that you get involved in volunteering. Helping those who need your help but where there is not thought of romantic entanglement.

    On the romance side, give your attention and energy (not money or gifts-save those for people you know care about you such as long term friends and family) to those who are looking for an equal partner. Stay away from those looking for a rescuer or parental figure. In a healthy relationship there will be give and take in all things, but those who are looking to be taken care of from the very start are not the ones who will work with you. They are the ones who will take from you.

    Don't rush into another relationship. Have fun going out with no strings attached and getting to know other females. Work on creating a foundation of friendship. If there is a spark of attraction, the see where it goes. The worst that will happen is you will make new friends/acquaintances and learn more about what you want and don't want in a relationship.

    Thanks for your suggestions, I already blocked her on Facebook and with time I will forget her no. too. I am really trying to move on now.
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    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #18

    Jul 22, 2015, 11:18 AM
    Glad you FINALLY get you need to leave her and her boyfriend alone and break all contact with them. Just because you gave your heart foolishly to an undeserving USER, doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.
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    Misshome Posts: 33, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Jul 22, 2015, 04:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.
    @Jay... Would you say that to yourself? Pretty Creepy? I have seen a Old, Used, Trash woman.. just to seek visa for her two adult son in america.. she ruined my best friend marriage and life. It is easy to speak when it does not favor you. I just think you must know this poster in real life. Do you really?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #20

    Jul 22, 2015, 04:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Misshome View Post
    @Jay... Would you say that to yourself? Pretty Creepy? I have seen a Old, Used, Trash woman.. just to seek visa for her two adult son in america.. she ruined my best friend marriage and life. It is easy to speak when it does not favor you. I just think you must know this poster in real life. Do you really?
    I have no idea who this poster is in real life, but his actions, as posted here, are creepy.

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