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    dmdmdm's Avatar
    dmdmdm Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 2, 2012, 04:01 AM
    Came on too strong how to act now?
    I'm in graduate school and I met someone cute. He was my age and available and we began emailing. At one point he said we should get coffee and I followed up by asking him to a movie. A few days later I wanted to ask him a question in person about an assignment so I did. The interaction left me feeling funny (as in I wasn't sure if I liked him so much as the first time I met him) so I went a little nuts. I apologized for something I said, he said no worries, then his emails tapered off so I told him if he was too busy for the movie we could choose another night. He chose a night it wasn't playing and I sent him some other times and said that I might just go and see it with a friend. Then before he could answer worried that sounded like rejection I said but I'd love to see it with you and asked him another school related question.

    Nothing for a week and so 2 days ago I thought-stupidly-I'll give this one more shot. I sent him an email entitled coffee? And joked that I was persistent but still thought we'd enjoy getting to know each other. No response (knew it was a long shot anyhow) so my question is now what? I'm aware that he and I are NEVER going to date but I may run into him at school and am not sure how to act after he has made it clear that he's a. Not interested and b. Probably more than a little creeped out in fact.

    Do I pretend like nothing happened? Do I ignore him? Do I give a casual hello? I'm hoping I won't run into him for a little while. (I didn't before) but am not relishing the thought of it. I'm somewhat pissed but am aware I blew it and do understand his reaction. So if I see him what? Casual hello? Nothing? If I'm able I'll just dip into another hallway but if not?
    indya's Avatar
    indya Posts: 357, Reputation: 58
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    #2

    Mar 2, 2012, 04:10 AM
    Maybe he thought you took him too casually, may be he didn't. We can only guess.

    Well if you do happen to meet him by chance be casual and cordial, not too personal or too aloof. Treat him like an acquaintance.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Mar 2, 2012, 04:28 AM
    You sound like an honest and thoughtful person.

    If you were to reverse this situation, and found yourself not particularly interested in a person, but unsure of how to actually say it, what would you do.

    You would be polite, and not want the other person to feel bad, right?

    I'd say that is what he has done. He has decided not to pursue another date.

    Hide? No way! Go about your business with your usual routine, and don't give what didn't really happen, a second thought. If you are uncomfortable, he will be uncomfortable.

    Just let it be, nothing gained, nothing lost.

    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Mar 2, 2012, 07:49 AM
    You are polite in passing, and shouldn't feel bad for nothing you have done, at all. So no need to feel like you should avoid him at all. Hey not all attempts at dating, or getting to know some one meets with instant success. No telling what he has going on, so don't presume its you or your attempts that didn't work.

    Carry on as you did before and keep doing your own thing as you have been. Never know what the future holds, so do be a happy polite person and say hi when you encounter each other.

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