Check out some similar questions!

boatbuilder · Dec 9, 2008, 04:21 PM

My girlfriend broke up with me a week ago. Her reasons for breaking up with me were that she was being a bad girlfriend and that she had personal problems. The next night at about 4 am she leaves me a voicemail of her crying and saying my name, I know she was drunk. Another day goes by and I beg her to let me talk to her about where we stand and she never gives me a solid answer. A few days later its her 21st birthday and I send her a message to ask her if I can buy her a drink, she accepts but never comes to the bar. An hour later she starts messaging me wanting to see me. I ask her why and she just wants to talk. I finally go and I ask why she wanted me there and she said because she felt most comfortable with me. During this point of this time she tells me she is really depressed. I want to be with her, I know she still cares, but what do I do?

wolfgangqpublic · Dec 9, 2008, 06:00 PM

She appears to have personal problems. I can't give more advice without knowing what they are.

neverme · Dec 9, 2008, 06:09 PM

Ya this girl defiantly has personal problems and their big, I'd say. It seems like she does still have feelings but right now she needs a friend, a good one. You love her, my advice would be to hold off on the relationship for a little while, if its supposed to happen it will, and just help her through whatever's going on. I'd recommend that this girl go to a therapist too.

boatbuilder · Dec 9, 2008, 07:31 PM

Were in school and break is coming up and her best friends have told me that the break should really help her out

neverme · Dec 9, 2008, 07:41 PM

Do you not have your answer then?

You have ample opportunity over this break to give her some space. Let her friends and family take care of her and let her be herself without you for a little while. If she does care and your relationship is as strong as you think it is then it will stand the test of a break?

When you get back to school have a chat then.

No?

BlackVY · Dec 9, 2008, 08:06 PM

A girl breaking up with a guy due to her own personal problems and not feeling like she is a good girlfriend for you is a reason I've heard a lot, so don't worry, it happens. I'm dealing with one of those things now in a way...

Edit: Thanks for reminding me.. but yeah, this is not the situation now... I'm dealing with the same girl leaving for a different reason, but in the past, she has tried to leave me countless times because she was depressed, and didn't feel like she was a good girlfriend or that I wasn't happy with her...

boatbuilder · Dec 9, 2008, 10:49 PM

This has helped out a lot, is there anymore advice anyone can give me?

boatbuilder · Dec 10, 2008, 06:41 AM

How should I confront her when we get back?

Romefalls19 · Dec 10, 2008, 07:47 AM

Give her space, she broke it off and has her own problems to work out so don't add to them. Get going and get gone, she wants space, give it to her and a lot of it

talaniman · Dec 10, 2008, 08:52 AM

Put your need to be with her aside, and let her deal with her own problems, as she has asked, and don't worry about confronting her.

kwwinny59 · Dec 10, 2008, 09:31 AM

My first ? Why would you want a depressed girlfriend. You can not take care of her. And depression is not something she can fix on her own. Do not calls do not buy drinks and do not text email et. DRINKING is only going to make her more depressed, so maybe she needs to try and fix herself. Good luck. It's hard but stay away the best you can.

BlackVY · Dec 10, 2008, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by kwwinny59

My first ? why would you want a depressed girlfriend. You can not take care of her. And depression is not something she can fix on her own. Do not calls do not buy drinks and do not text email et. DRINKING is only going to make her more depressed, so maybe she needs to try and fix herself. good luck. It's hard but stay away the best you can.

I don't know... do you really think its best to just ditch a depressed person and let them deal with it on their own? What if they are reaching out for help in a way and you just leave? That ain't very nice... and that would make them more depressed...

boatbuilder · Dec 10, 2008, 07:24 PM

I think the only problem I have now is if she blacks out and decides to call me or the opposite, I black out and call her

BlackVY · Dec 10, 2008, 07:25 PM

Guess you just got to be strong in your decision, whatever you choose... make a choice, stick to it and neva back down...

neverme · Dec 10, 2008, 07:29 PM

Eh blacking out.. not normal boatbuilder!

starbuck8 · Dec 10, 2008, 07:41 PM

Exactly why are the two of you blacking out? Okay, sounds to me like your are both in high school right? I'm wondering about something more serious like drugs here.

thoughtiwastheman · Dec 10, 2008, 07:48 PM

Every time I write a post there is this intuition I get about the situation before I even place my fingers on the key. In any situation I would say that she is confused about you and someone else since in general (not always) women hate to be lonely but I get a different feeling here. My suggestion is not different from what people have been telling you. Give her the SPACE that she needs. I strongly believe that there is something else and not a guy. Who knows, she maybe going through something that you can't help her with. She may need to figure this out on her own. Whatever happens just know that its not your fault. Just support her by giving her some time so she can figure things out.

boatbuilder · Dec 19, 2008, 06:31 PM

My girlfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago for her own problems, now I'm feeling really down, I went from the happiest point of my life to the lowest, it really sucks because I haven't enjoyed a christmas in years and this year I was looking forward to it and now all I think is what if and what's she doing during break, is she feeling the same way not having someone

southerngalps · Dec 19, 2008, 06:57 PM

Oh... so sorry. Wow... I would say that was pretty harsh on her part. She could have waited until after the holidays. Look at it that she wasn't the right person for you for not taking your feelings into consideration.

I am in a situation like you. I lost my boyfriend of 4 years. He passed away in September. So these holidays aren't all that great.

Just constantly talk with your friends and family. Constantly be around them.

Socialize. Meet new friends. Keep your mind occupied. You may not be able to move on, but you can keep your mind off things.

That is what's getting me through this. Being on this site helps out too. I am focused on something else.

Your family and friends want to be with you this holiday... so don't shut them out. I wish you nothing but the best :)

talaniman · Dec 19, 2008, 10:06 PM

What's stopping you from enjoying the holiday with family and friends?