My 3 year relationship officially ended last week (I'm 28, she's 26). We've been living together for about 2 1/2 years and still have 5 months left on our lease. Here is some history, which I help gives some perspective:

Our roots are like something out of a corny movie. We met in Jan 2009 at an event in NYC called the "no pants subway ride" (it's an annual event in NYC where you literally ride the subway in your undies in Jan for fun). It was a hell of a day, and then the night consisted of hundreds if not thousands of people roaming NYC in their briefs going from after party to after party and dancing in the streets, just having a blast. We first met at a bar after the official event. She approached me and we started small talking. Nothing much happened at first, so we parted ways. Except we kept randomly bumping into each other throughout the night at different places. Eventually I somehow ended up at a pool party at a hotel around 1am and guess what, there she was, out of all the places in NYC. It's even more bizarre because I was literally seconds away from heading home to call it night, but decided hey why not check out this pool party real quick. This was like the 5th time we kept bumping into each other throughout NYC during this 1 crazy day and night. Still clad in our underwear from the prior event, I walked her to the subway after the pool party and we started talking again. We instantly started connecting on really obscure things like German Expressionist films from the 1920s and all sorts of indie bands from the 90's that I thought no one heard of, or liked. It was like Serendipity on a magical and wild night. We connected immediately. I scribbled my number on a piece of paper, we parted ways when it was my stop on the subway and she called me the next day for a date at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and it naturally went on from there.

The weird thing was, we both specifically didn't want relationships at the time. We were both brand new to NYC at the time and we both had prior long-term relationships, so we remained 100% platonic friends for about 2 months. But eventually we couldn't help falling madly in love. After getting to know each other, we soon discovered how we were freakishly similar. Identical taste in movies, music, art, video games, food, we both loved doing quirky things like exploring abandoned buildings and taking peaceful walks though cemeteries, going to concerts and off-off broadway shows, doing random public events hosted in NYC such as light-saber battles and giant pillow fights. We danced through the streets in the rain. We'd wear animal masks and run around the city while holding hands, without a care in the world. We'd talk long walks, go window shopping, have picnics in the park. And we also just loved staying home and doing nothing, such as chilling out with some movies and video games. To put it simply, we loved each others' company no matter what we were doing.

It was true love, as far as we were concerned. We called each other soulmates. We've both been in serious relationships in the past (my previous was 5 years, her's was 4), but we've both never loved anyone with such intensity. It was a quirky, whimsical and deep-rooted love, the kind that takes your breath away and makes you believe in true romance. It felt all the more powerful since we were both skeptical about love before we met; it's not like we were hopeless romantics specifically "trying" to fall in love. What we experienced was unprecedented for us both, in terms of the sheer intensity of the love and the amount of things we clicked on.

We first moved in together about 6 months after meeting. Things got even better, our love continued to grow even more as we shared a living space. We moved into a new apartment about a year later.

However, the past 6 or so months is when things started going downhill. Slowly but surely, she started becoming "distant." She started spending more and more time with her friends and co-workers and less time with me. Eventually, I was lucky to hang out with her a couple times a week. She also slowly stopped keeping me in the loop with phone calls or texts. We still enjoy each others' company well enough when we do hang out, but it just doesn't feel the same, especially for her. Things became routine, I.e. We'd both come home from work, talk about our day and maybe watch a movie or go out to a show. It's crazy how easy and stealthily the dreaded "routine" took us over, right under our noses. Last week, I sat her down and asked what's going on, because I was frustrated with her kicking me to the curb. Both of us being honest people, she agreed that the love we shared for the first 2 1/2 or so years of our relationship was out of this world and the strongest she's ever felt, but she's been falling out of love with me within the past year. It's been a slow fading process; it's not like we had a major fight or anything like that.

She feels as if she's going through somewhat of a quarter-life crisis. She's changed a lot over the past year. Now she feels held back and suffocated by being in a committed relationship at this point in life and wants to be free since she still feels so young. It sucks because I totally understand where she's coming from (we're 28 and 26, which is relatively young), but I still love her as much as I always have. But now it's a one-sided love, which isn't romantic love anymore.

The main problem is that we still live together. I feel it's best that I move out (she will get a roommate to replace me), as I'm having trouble living there now. I know this board is very big on NC, and I obviously cannot do NC while we live together. I feel like we're going through a divorce. We pretty much have everything except a marriage license at this point: we both share the lease, she's on my health/dental/vision insurance policy, we share a phone plan, a joint checking account and we even got a cat together. We did all of this a while ago, when we were convinced we'd get married one day. We both still love each other (just not in the romantic sense) and respect each other, so living under the same roof isn't as horrible as I thought. We still actually hang out now and then as friends. But I think I need to move out so I can heal and rebuild my life from the ground up. She wants to stay friends (she maintains a platonic friendship with some of her old ex's as well, so she's not just BS'ing me), which is something I need to really think about. I'm not sure if I could ever view her as just a friend, at least not now since the wound is so fresh.

I'm still in the denial/heartbroken stage, so part of me hopes she has a change of heart sometime down the road and realizes the potential we still have considering the insane amount of common interests we have. It's so hard to find. Maybe she just needs to live free for a while to get certain things out of her system until she's ready to settle down. Or maybe she's really out of love with me for good. I know it's not healthy for me mull these things over, but it's all part of being freshly heartbroken. I miss what we had so much, and it's scary to think that I may never fall in love so madly and deeply again, considering our roots and what we had before. She actually agreed with this and said it truly was one of a kind while it lasted, and she doesn't even want to think about relationships for a long time for that reason. She just wants to be young and free at this point in life, and do her own thing.

Since living in NYC ain't cheap and we have an amazing deal and location with our current place, I may spend a couple more months with her, as a roommate while I'm apartment hunting. She's cool with me staying as long as I need to, and I think I can handle it. I don't want to rush into a new apartment without having the time to find the right price and place. This apartment is ours 50/50, we both found it together, but like I said before I need a fresh apartment to start healing. Again - we're very civil, mature and friendly, but it's definitely a major adjustment to be in the same room with her, but now as a friend/roommate than ex soulmate, as we used to consider each other. We still sleep in the same bed, which I can also handle (hey, it's NYC - space is limited. No couches or 2nd bedrooms at our budget). I have a lot of tough times ahead, so just wanted to put my story out there. Thanks for reading, and please let me know your thoughts.

Still go for NC, so you move out as soon as you can, she finds a room mate and life goes on.

"The main problem is that we still live together"

I agree.

My best pal just got divorced in NYC after 15 years. Had a huge battle over the apartment. Crazy. Lease sharing...

Hes in, she's out. Hes loving it.

The quicker you unwind your life from hers, the quicker you can start the healing process.