Hi, I think I just need someone else's perspective here... I've been dating a guy for almost 4 years now. In that time I would say he's probably broken up with me at least 10 times. Each time he in incredibly hurtful and mean. But then he calls in a day or two and acts like the sweetest person ever. I truly love him, and I've put up with this because he always seems to learn a little each time. But I can't say that it hasn't really hurt me and had a very bad effect on myself esteem. He is very argumentative and gets angry and defensive very quickly. Because of this I can't have a normal conversation with him about our relationship. If he does point out something I have done to him, when I try and apologize he says that I don't mean it and that he can't be with someone like that. But he seems to be oblivious to all his own faults. I know I'm not perfect - but he's not willing to accept that anything he has done is contributing to our problems. Last February he proposed to me... and it was great, but by May he was telling me he wasn't sure we should get married. And then of course later he decided we should. Our initial wedding date was last September (which was called off) and then our new wedding date was to be this September. Which once again he called off. The thing is that he does this, but then wants to continue with our relationship. Which makes me think maybe he's just waiting for something better. So when I confront him about what he wants he just says he doesn't know. I understand that, but it hurts so much to be in this constant state of not-knowing. I know that I'm not being the best girlfriend I could be - but it's hard to get past all of this hurt. He just doesn't see that it should have any effect on me. So anyway, I know that this sounds pathetic and stupid and that of course the answer is to just find someone who can really love me. But that's so hard and it hurts so much because this is someone I truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I just don't know what to do anymore, but this is truly killing me and I know I can't do this anymore. Please help me.

Tell him you have had enough and you are leaving!!

Let him know you realise that its not going to work between you two cause you cannot put up with someone who is so unsure. Tell him you know what you want in a guy and there are plenty of guys who know what they want in life and that's what you need and get out.

This will shock the life out of him.

Leave and give it two weeks do not take his calls do not message him, If you do not give it time and you buckle he will stillhold all the cards.

If you do what I say he will be groveling at your feety in two weeks.

This does not sound like it is what you want to do but believe me this is a MUST MUST MUST if you ever want to marry him.

I know you are probably concerned about doing this and you tell yourself but if I do that he will just go and find someone else. That is not the case at all, what will happen after a week is he will realise he is missing you and will wonder what you are doing then he will try and contact you but you will not Not answwer until the two weeks are up. Then you will tell him you need to see a change in his attitude before you consider giving him another go with you. Act confident like you have other options there are other guys.

He won't know what to do and you know that sick feeling you get in your stomach he will get that he will think his losing the best girl in the world,because I know what that is like.

DO THIS IT WILL WORK BUT YOU MUST BELIEVE ME I AM A GUY I KNOW THIS IS THE ONLY WAY FOR YOU TO EVER GET ANY RESPECT.


But once you do this you must not go back to your old self you muyst keep the upper hand in the relationship and make decisions and put him in his place when needed and don't put your whole self into the relationship give him bits at a time less sex will make him want more. Show some skin and tell him not tonight.

Two weeks do that right now I don't care where you are ring him now and tell HIM "I NEED A BREAK Don't TELL HIM HOW LONG JUST TELL HIM WHAT I TOLD YOU TO SAY. DO IT NOW Don't WAIT GET THE BALL ROLLING!!

Let me know what you do.