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    Cathyraines's Avatar
    Cathyraines Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 24, 2015, 03:23 PM
    I broke up with my boyfriend and now I think I am wrong? I want to call but?
    I broke up with my boyfriend. Now I think I was wrong but his reply was OK he needed some alone time anyway. I told him he could have all the alone time he needed because he would never be with me again. I want to call him but should I? I have trust issues and its my problem to deal with. He has an ex girl friend that is stalking him. He deleted her phone # and asked her to stop calling but she still calls and text.

    We are not kids. We have know each other about 30 years. His wife died in Jan. 1999 and my spouse died 3 years ago. I think we are good for one another but this ex girlfriend is driving me nuts. I have never been jealous in my life was married to my spouse for 27 years. Should I swallow my pride and call him or just give him his alone time? This happened Wednesday.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 25, 2015, 08:06 AM
    I don't know what your 'trust' issue(s) are. Were they will your departed husband of 27 years, or were they with breaking up with your recently ex boyfriend because his ex was stalking him, and you thought he was cheating?

    Regardless, if you broke up with your boyfriend, try to establish why. If, for instance, you didn't trust him not to be in a relationship with you 100%, what were those reasons, and if they were valid when you broke up with him, why are they no longer valid now.

    What makes the tide turn in other words, to thinking that you were wrong, and want to get in touch with him again. If you have good reasons after reflecting on your decision to end the relationship and wish to work that out with him, that is one thing. But, it won't be easy. If he was completely trustworthy and you decide that you didn't have a good reason to break up with him, it may be him that views you differently now.

    He may think that because you didn't trust him, and considered him untrustworthy, that the relationship will never work. Nothing worse than being accused of those things, when you are completely innocent.

    I don't see where he has done anything in your post, to suggest otherwise?

    Is there more to this story?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 25, 2015, 09:00 AM
    I think you leave it alone for a while longer and give him the space he says he needs and a week or two isn't space. We all have our issues and regrets and its normal to second guess a big decision like a breakup, or separation, and get our heads clear.

    Really it's a perfect time for you to examine your own life and issues and get a handle on them without the distractions of a relationship,or a partners issues.

    You probably needed this time and space for yourself, more than he did. Let the emotional dust completely settle, and see where YOU are at.

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