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    Break up (did I make a mistake?)

    Asked May 6, 2007, 09:58 PM 12 Answers
    I broke up with my boyfriend of two years last week. I just felt like I started having doubts and was unsure about us in the future like down the road(marriage) he is 23 I'm 21 I got the I love him but I'm not in love with him any more feeling. He was a great boyfriend and he didn't do anything wrong I just feel like he may not be the one, did I make a mistake if I semi miss him, or when you meet the one do you know? Also I feel terrible because he is really sad and was shocked by my decision...

    Last edited by jillygirl524; May 7, 2007 at 09:43 AM.
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    mckenzie134's Avatar
    mckenzie134 Posts: 647, Reputation: 67
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    #2

    May 6, 2007, 10:22 PM
    Hi, You sound just like what happened to me. I am a guy and my girlfriend broke up with me two months ago. She felt like she started having doubts and was unsure about us in the future like marriage I'm 28 she was 22. She had the feeling that she loved me but no longer loved me emotionaly... I was devastated and still am. I am slowly getting over it but am still so upset she just wants to be on her own and discover herself. If it helps you she has told me that she just does not know what love is and is not sure that the love for me is enough to be with someone forever.

    If you do not think it is enough then maybe it is not. Maybe your doubting your decision but she did say to me if she was sure of me then she would not need to take a break. I was her first serious boyfriend and we were together for 3 1/2 years. Maybe I should have proposed but I didn't. Plenty of things I think of now. Its your life and if you are not 100% sure then maybe you are doing the right thing. There is no doubt you will miss your boyfriend and that may be the reason you think of going back but that may just wear off again over time and this may happen again in a few months. That is what happened to me. We had a 2 week break got back together and then 6 months latter she said it again. Some girls are just not ready to make that commitment and are to unsure about who they might meet in the future and what they should do.

    I hope this has helped a little and maybe you can realise that if you truly wanted to be with him you would haver just stayed with him and not wanbted to haqve the break.

    LET ME KNOW IN A MESSAGE OF HOW YOU ARE GOING AND WHAT YOU MAY BE DECIDING.
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    AW805's Avatar
    AW805 Posts: 283, Reputation: 43
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    #3

    May 6, 2007, 11:03 PM
    It really isn't fair to him if you are not in love with him. You are doubting yourself because you broke up so suddenly and being without him is still all to new. Breaking up isn't always easy but you did the right thing. Just know, he will heal and he will be all right. And so will you.
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    jillygirl524's Avatar
    jillygirl524 Posts: 16, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    May 7, 2007, 09:44 AM
    Still looking for more input
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    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #5

    May 7, 2007, 10:33 AM
    23 / 21? Aren't you a bit young to be thinking of marrige? You should be having a great time, having fun, enjoying life! Does he make you happy? If not why are you there, its unfair on him and you.

    Perhaps you could have done a little more to make it work, perhaps trying new things together, different hobbies together, holidays, trips away etc. You broke up with him now though. So why not work out what you want in a relationship and what you want from life for the time being because I can imagine your ex is probably very raw at the moment. Maybe in time you could begin to develop a friendship in the future? Who knows.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,566, Reputation: 10718
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    #6

    May 7, 2007, 10:35 AM
    You had doubts and let them be known instead of leading him on. He will get over it in time, and so will you. Don't stress, as we all go through stages of growing up, and changing and sometimes we find we want something different and relationships, young or old, changes and fades and ends. No ones fault, that's just life, and we either accept it and move on, or be miserable and afraid of what if. You did the right thing for you, and that's what counts. Now if you would have led him on, and cheated or done your thing at his expense, the flavor of my post would have been much harsher, so move on, and find your happiness.
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    jillygirl524's Avatar
    jillygirl524 Posts: 16, Reputation: 4
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    #7

    May 7, 2007, 04:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    You had doubts and let them be known instead of leading him on. He will get over it in time, and so will you. Don't stress, as we all go thru stages of growing up, and changing and sometimes we find we want something different and relationships, young or old, changes and fades and ends. No ones fault, thats just life, and we either accept it and move on, or be miserable and afraid of what if. You did the right thing for you, and that's what counts. Now if you would have led him on, and cheated or done your thing at his expense, the flavor of my post would have been much harsher, so move on, and find your happiness.


    Thanks:)
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    saraispiel19's Avatar
    saraispiel19 Posts: 670, Reputation: 115
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    #8

    May 7, 2007, 04:31 PM
    nαwh I think if you wαnted to end it then thαts cool- the only reαson you feel guilty or w/e is probαbly becαuse you feel weird without him αnd his whole surprise αbout it. Meh αt leαst you guys αren't enemies look αt it like thαt. common' your single now- enjoy:)
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    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 760
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    #9

    May 7, 2007, 04:59 PM
    Have you fully evaluated your reasons for breaking up with him? Somehow I get the feeling that there's more to this than you've said here. I think your reasons for ending a 2-year relationship are a little more concrete than your post suggests. Ultimately you have to decide whether you made a mistake in ending it. We'd all be glad to share our opinions with you as far as "yes, that was a good reason for ending it" or "no, that wasn't a good reason for ending it" but in the end you've got to make up your own mind. And nobody can predict whether there's a chance of the two of you getting back together. That boils down to whether he's willing to take you back if that's what you decide that you want. Just let me end by saying that every relationship is going to have its flaws so I never advocate ending something for trivial reasons. But even then, "trivial" is subjective and open to opinion.
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    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 684, Reputation: 94
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    #10

    May 8, 2007, 11:09 AM
    I went with this with my ex/Fiance when she broke up with me the first time. Then 3 months later she's telling me she made a mistake. Now 5 yrs later and 6 breakups later I'm going with this with her again over other reason I don't really no why. I believe that first break up she thought the grass was greener on the other side. She new I treated her and her son good. But you might think the same way over a period.
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    Rockabilly1955mama's Avatar
    Rockabilly1955mama Posts: 662, Reputation: 85
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    #11

    May 8, 2007, 11:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    You had doubts and let them be known instead of leading him on. He will get over it in time, and so will you. Don't stress, as we all go thru stages of growing up, and changing and sometimes we find we want something different and relationships, young or old, changes and fades and ends. No ones fault, thats just life, and we either accept it and move on, or be miserable and afraid of what if. You did the right thing for you, and that's what counts. Now if you would have led him on, and cheated or done your thing at his expense, the flavor of my post would have been much harsher, so move on, and find your happiness.

    Very good answer! I agree 100%!
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    tv1047's Avatar
    tv1047 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    May 7, 2010, 08:05 PM
    I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months the other day. We weren't in love and its probably nothing like your situation but I thought I'd give my input. It's totally normal to miss someone, I do and I wasn't even in love. I felt I wanted to break up with him because of a lot of different things. Mostly because I am spiritual and find a lot of joy in that and he has no interest in it. It sat on my heart and eventually we ended up having to go our separate ways because all I could see for years to come was struggling. I hated doing it and miss him coming over and having conversations, cuddling, and going out. All that said sometimes you have to remember that sometimes while you may love someone, it turns out not to be a good fit. Love does not cure all and I think it is more responsible to be a little cautious and take what your heart is saying and not ignore it. Every relationship encounters problems and people can even fall in and out of love, and most married couples do. The thing to keep in mind is that while a relationship will always and forever take work and fluctuate it should never feel like work, it should always feel worth while. It sounds like it stopped becoming worth and it. These things take time to heal and take comfort in knowing if you two are in fact meant to be together it will happen eventually.
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    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 7,908, Reputation: 3652
    Marriage Expert
     
    #13

    May 7, 2010, 08:23 PM


    tv1047, thank you for trying to help, however, this thread is from 2007. Please do not respond to old threads. It bumps them back into the active threads and makes it harder to know who currently needs help.
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