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    poeticQu33n24's Avatar
    poeticQu33n24 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 21, 2010, 08:54 PM
    Break up..
    So me and my boyfriend have been off and on for about 2 years and just recently he told me he didn't want anything to do with me.. We work together and this girl.. who I believe really liked him told him that I was talking about him and he believed her over me.. She just started working there a couple months ago.. I have called him and was sent to his voice mail.. I have cried but I think its best not to dwell.. because I guess he wants his space.. but do you think he will come back?! Although he said, I can't picture an US in the future?!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 21, 2010, 09:29 PM
    It is quite brutal for a man to break up with a woman, over something as pathetic as an unfounded rumour.

    It is very hurtful, unkind, and unnecessary.

    People who generally treat people who are supposed to be significant in their lives, in this manner, are likely to repeat the same kind of behaviour, not only with the one they are supposed to love, but with others who cross their path as well. I call this fickle.

    What he will find, after a string of broken relationships, is that he is left facing himself. It is the person he chooses to be, and the behaviour he chooses to do, that causes situations, exactly like that which you are facing now.

    Think about what a relationship should be like, just even the basics, and figure out what you need in a relationship, and what you are capable of giving to another person in return. If it all amounts to a good investment of your time and energy, and love is reciprocated, then you have success.

    But so settle for what sounds like a fickle, shallow person, who breaks up over an unfounded rumour- to me at least, that signals that he never considered the relationship worthy of giving, what he received.

    My advice to you is to move on, raise your standards a little higher, and find a more worthy mate.
    poeticQu33n24's Avatar
    poeticQu33n24 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Sep 22, 2010, 05:48 AM
    Thank you for the advice.. Although we have had our ups and downs at one point in time I could tell he really loved me.. But I also believe that this could have been a way out.. you know. Its just even harder because we work together.. and he lives 15 minutes from where I live. School is my number 1 priority right now, its just extremely hard when, you've been around and spent a lot of time with 1 person. Im sometimes lonely but I know time will heal all.

    Thank you again.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,010, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 22, 2010, 06:00 AM

    Good luck on your studies, but try and get a better social life that you enjoy that gives you something besides work and school to look forward to. Then you won't need to depend on a flakey guy for company. Its always hard at first, to go from seeing someone and then they reject us and leave, but just figure if he so easily believes others over you he wasn't even a good friend, let alone a romantic interest.

    Now you know.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Sep 22, 2010, 06:42 AM

    Its always hard to accept the cruelty of other, especially the man who we think are in love with us. Don't let someone else keep you down, hold your head high and move on. You have a lot to offer. I agree with Tal get out and socialize with real friends. Good Luck!!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Sep 22, 2010, 07:01 AM

    He was looking for an excuse. Don't cry one more tear over him. He isn't worth it. As for the two faced girl.. she'll get hers and find herself in the same position you are right now. "What goes round comes round."
    beachloverjohn's Avatar
    beachloverjohn Posts: 491, Reputation: 242
    Full Member
     
    #7

    Sep 22, 2010, 07:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by poeticQu33n24 View Post
    So me and my boyfriend have been off and on for about 2 years and just recently he told me he didn't want anything to do with me.. We work together and this girl.. who I believe really liked him told him that I was talking about him and he believed her over me
    .. She just started working there a couple months ago.. I have called him and was sent to his voice mail.. I have cried but I think its best not to dwell.. because I guess he wants his space.. but do you think he will come back?! Although he said, I can't picture an US in the future?!
    I agree with the others, this guy is not worth crying over. You have been off and on for the last two years, so he probably did you a favor. Unfortunately, back stabbing does go on in the work place sometimes, but know that you are better than that. You keep concentrating on school and being a good person and you will have plenty of other boyfriends in the future. As for this one, he might come crawling back sometime, but if he does tell him as Jake said " Sorry, but I raised my standards and I'm afraid you fall a little short."
    Shadowburn's Avatar
    Shadowburn Posts: 249, Reputation: 179
    Full Member
     
    #8

    Sep 22, 2010, 07:56 AM

    Since your relationship was on and off all this time, it seems to me he just wanted an excuse to end it for good.

    And you know what? Good riddance. On and off is a bad relationship anyway. At least you are free from it now and can meet a guy who'd treat you as you deserve.

    Good luck.

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