I was raped several months ago by two men at first my boyfriend would have sex with me but the last 4 months he won't touch me I asked him why and he said because every time he does all he can think about is them I have tried so hard to keep my emotions in about being raped so I do not push it on him and let it damage our relationship but he is the one doing it he is giving them the power and I refuse to let it ruin my life help how do we overcome this.. am I that disgusting now because I was raped I feel like I have ruin our relationship I feel like I should have never told him how do I fix this

I am so sorry to hear what those horrible men did to you. Let me tell you something though: the memory will not go away. You are internalizing the pain right now and, while I know that it's a common form of coping, I beg you to seek therapy now. You are NOT, I repeat NOT disgusting. Whatever your boyfriend is feeling about you is irrelevant, but since you asked he may be emotionally traumatized because he cares about you or he may be a loser who doesn't like that you've been "touched" by other men. If you two have a long, healthy history... maybe it would be good for you both to attend therapy sessions (though I think you should attend solo sessions as well).

Don't think for a second that any of this is your fault. Don't think that you've destroyed your relationship or that you're disgusting. Again I'm very sorry about what happened to you. Please see a therapist.

I feel like I am a disgrace that he blames me and don't care all in one I avoid driving by the spot but he does not even with me in the car and I will stiffen up and he shakes his head and asked what the hell is wrong with me even though he knows I avoid that road I want to blow up on him cause I need to know I am wanted and still desired but I am not getting it

So for whatever reasons,your boyfriend can't handle the situation.
That's not your fault.

You need help-southamerica is right-find a therapist and start working through this awful trauma.

It was not your fault that you were raped and you are not disgusting.

I hope the awful people who did this to you were caught,tried,sentenced and locked up.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to southamerica again.

I agree 100%. Solo sessions and therapy sessions together are a good idea. Maybe he even needs some of his own solo sessions.

Like the others said, this is not your fault-none of it is.

The police don't know who it is and so they won't even process the rape kit

Have you spoken with an attorney yet? I'm not a legal expert, but I'm pretty sure they don't get to just pick which cases they take seriously and which they don't look into.

Also, the comments feature is a little weird on this site. It's better to scroll down towards the bottom and use the answer or reply box.

Whaaaaa? They won't process the DNA to see if those creeps are in the database? Sorry, maybe someone more familiar with the law can inform me why they wouldn't do that and maybe if the OP can do something about that? Jeez it's hard enough for a girl to actually go to the police when something like this has happened...

And about what you wrote earlier katika, I really think you and your boyfriend should talk to a therapist so you can both understand the after affects of this trauma and how to move forward. And justcurious brings up a good point that maybe he should seek solo therapy himself.

Your boyfriend needs help, and until he gets it, he can be of no help to you and that is truly sad and hurtful. But don't let him, or the inactions of the police stop you from healing and getting to a good place.