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    lateralusspiral's Avatar
    lateralusspiral Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 28, 2005, 12:56 AM
    My boyfriend won't date me if I'm a stripper
    Recently I have been interested in becoming a stripper for a few years. But the minute I brought it up with him, he said he wouldn't date a stripper. We've been dating for about a year now, with plans on getting married. I've tried to tell him how I would like to become a stripper, and earn good money. I know that he had plans of being a cage fighter, which scared the hell out of me, but I supported him because I know it was what he wanted to do. But he refuses to do the same for me.
    wzartv's Avatar
    wzartv Posts: 402, Reputation: 21
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    #2

    Jul 28, 2005, 06:08 AM
    See, for a guy, he really doesn't want his girlfriend/wife being a stripper, the idea of other guys checking out his girl usually isn't too pleasing to him.

    That's how I would think anyway... I wouldn't want my girl going around and showing herself off to everybody...

    It is great that you support him in his "plans" but perhaps you should have a talk with him about all this and compare both of your situations.

    There are so many better ways to make money, anyway.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #3

    Jul 28, 2005, 08:32 AM
    You don't want to become a stripper. Never.

    If you do you will never be with your guy again.

    Most of these gals become very sexual addicted, drugs, alcohol and your life is changed forever. Abused by the owners of the clubs. It's NOT a glamourous life.

    Plus most of your clients are big time scumbags who think little of you.

    It's very low self-esteem, and gets degrating.

    Try something else - go back to school, modeling, flight attendant etc.

    Plus - if you do it - you will have a lot losers trying to date you.
    wzartv's Avatar
    wzartv Posts: 402, Reputation: 21
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    #4

    Jul 28, 2005, 08:51 AM
    Wow yes sooooo very true... please don't become a stripper, think about your future and what you really want... there's so many better things than the money it will bring in
    erichss's Avatar
    erichss Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Jul 28, 2005, 10:15 PM
    As a guy, I can say that I would not be able to stand the thought of my wife willingly taking off her clothes so other guys can ogle at her. He probably feels the same way.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #6

    Jul 29, 2005, 08:00 AM
    I think you think it's harmless to become a stripper - but find out what happens to these gals later.

    Try a different career choice. I can't imagine going to your next job and they ask your experience - none.

    You want to go into a career that you can build and go into your next job with actual experience.

    Plus... you do it and your guy will be gone. No one wants their gal being groped by guys all night. Plus WAY to many temptations there - horrible.
    butterflybabydoll's Avatar
    butterflybabydoll Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 9, 2005, 02:19 AM
    WOW, those of you who responded about how awful it is to be a stripper have obviously never been one. I on the other hand am a stripper so let me tell you this. I am not on drugs, I don't ever drink at work, rarely outside of work either, and I have never been abused by a boss. I am not saying that is is glamours, but it's not the hellish experience you imply. And actually can be a lot of fun in the club where I work, the other girls, and the patrons, and bouncers are all great people, and it's not all touchy feely creepy, we're there to do a job, and that job does not include being touched by anyone!

    I am happily married with 2 kids and my husband is very supportive, he has no problem with other men or women looking at me because he has no reason to worry, I always come home at the end of my shift to him.

    I am stripping to pay off some bills, pay for school, and save some money. I couldn't afford to go to school if it weren't for the money I earn dancing. I am also saving to start my own business when I retire from dancing, dancing isn't some horrible end, it's a wonderful steping stone.

    NOW... to you dear, I'm very sorry your boyfriend isn't being supportive. Unfortunately many men are still rather barbaricly 1 sided. Well he doesn't mind looking at other women in magazines and movies and yes maybe even clubs for you to be looked at is a violation, of him. You need to sit down and have a nice long talk with him, explaine that his professional choicess make you uncomfortable but you accept him just as he is and don't try to control him. You should expect the same amount of respect from him.

    If he woun't buddge and remains stubborn then so be it you will have to decide what to do. Is it worth it for you to agree to obey his wishes and be with him, or do what you want, and expect any man in your life to support you, and allow you to an individual and an adult with her own mind who makes her own decissions.
    LoveMyBooBooGirl's Avatar
    LoveMyBooBooGirl Posts: 44, Reputation: -1
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    #8

    Aug 9, 2005, 10:06 AM
    its what you make it
    I agree with the last post. The dancing world is what you make it. If you were already on drugs or a drinker, it will indulge it. If you are young and impressionable and choose to hang out with the girls eho drink anf do drugs, that is your choice. And nobody gets to touch you, if they do, you are in the wrong place! But if you decide to work the other side of the coin, it's a beautiful thing. Its great money, it can make you feel really great. I found it very powerful and sexy, it was great for myself esteem. Now, that's not to say every girl should get naked, it takes the right person to take full advantage of such a job. But I wouldn't shy anyone away from the experience (except maybe my own daughter, lol). I don't however think it is worth a valuable relationship. If it was just some guy you were dating, his opinion wouldn't count, but a long term relationship that you value is not worth the strain it will cause. Hopefully, you can see all sides of our comments to you and make a sound decision that is best for your life. :)
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #9

    Aug 9, 2005, 10:14 AM
    Well - boy friends hate it. No chance in hell I want my gal up there.

    I've actually herd most gals it lowers self esteem.

    She'll lose the boy friend. No guy wants that.
    sweety's Avatar
    sweety Posts: 77, Reputation: -1
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    #10

    Aug 9, 2005, 04:59 PM
    Er, don't do it, it DOES lower self- esteem and it is disgusting to go round selling your looks to every low life sad sitting in the club looking for a bit of excitement from a pair of tits. Its nasty, no man will ever except you and they will treat you like because the only name they would give you is slag, which you don't even sound like, so hun don't bother settling down for money because your Respect is more powerful than money. That isn't the only way to make money either. Plus when you walk into a bank and the bank person asks your occupation and you reply "stripper" just watch the look on their faces, then you will know the meaning of what matters more money or respect.
    turtlegirl's Avatar
    turtlegirl Posts: 151, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Aug 9, 2005, 05:14 PM
    Pick whatever's more important to you, this boyfriend or a career taking off your clothes for money. It doesn't look like you can have both.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #12

    Aug 9, 2005, 09:13 PM
    Sweety - grea tadvice. Plus what would your family say.

    Try getting your next job then.
    sweety's Avatar
    sweety Posts: 77, Reputation: -1
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    #13

    Aug 10, 2005, 06:29 PM
    Fnx wildcat. :o)
    trulydiva's Avatar
    trulydiva Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Aug 16, 2005, 12:05 PM
    There are a lot of ways a beautiful person can make money
    And NOT have to do it in the sex industry. I read the posts from the dancers and the most telling part was that the second one would not want HER daughter to do it. Why? If it's sooooo okay, and rewarding, etc... why would one want to exclude her beloved daughter from it? Because it is NOT an ideal job, and even if you are in a "decent" club (if there IS such a thing) they are still filled perverts(even if they are well paid perverts), still objectifying women, and feeding on the sexual desires/fantasies of men and women.

    Many of us do things when we are young that we may regret later on, and stripping is probably a common theme for many women.

    I don't blame your man for not wanting you to strip. I think all of us need to feel proud of our partners. I would have a hard time feeling proud to tell someone important to me that my man was a stripper.

    If you want to dance, do it privately for your man, and look into modeling, or acting. I would bet that, in the long run, you'll be better off for it.

    Beauty is power, use it wisely.
    Take care.
    Plinko's Avatar
    Plinko Posts: 20, Reputation: 3
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    #15

    Sep 15, 2005, 01:14 AM
    Don't be a stripper
    Don't be a stripper he doesn't want other guys checking you out and it is just gross ecpecially if you are in a good healthy relationship!
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
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    #16

    Sep 15, 2005, 05:33 AM
    Stripper
    Hi,
    Sounds like all the answers have been covered.
    Anyway, here are my thoughts.
    A stripper doesn't have a good reputation, such as being a secretary, manager, etc, just to mention a few jobs. Think about the reputation that goes with it.
    Then, you have a choice to make. Either keep your boyfriend and not be a stripper; or be a stripper and lose him. It's your choice.
    If you don't like being a stripper later on, think about how many jobs you will not be able to get, cause any job you get will probably have a background search.
    Best of luck,
    fredg
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #17

    Sep 20, 2005, 06:46 PM
    At this point, you need to choose what you like better ; him or being a stripper? If it's the latter, then you need to say good-bye and move on. It's certainly nice that you were supportive of him wanting to be a cage fighter despite your personal objections, which were no doubt justified. Unfortunately, that doesn't automatically guarantee that he'll be likewise supportive of you. There's also something else you should think about and that is long-term outcomes. I take it that you're probably a 20-something and I'm sure you're quite shapely and attractive. However, how appealing a stripper do you think you'll be 20 or 30 years from now? Not too many men that I know get a kick out of stuffing dollar bills down the shorts of 50-something has-beens ; they want the young 20-somethings, which is what you are right now but won't be foreever. Sometimes long-range decisions require lots of foresight. Ultimately this is a personal decision that you have to make ; just consider all the angles and consequences when you make it.
    letmeno's Avatar
    letmeno Posts: 215, Reputation: 23
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    #18

    Sep 20, 2005, 07:52 PM
    Say no to the pole!
    No REAL man would go for that... The End!
    rkim291968's Avatar
    rkim291968 Posts: 261, Reputation: 34
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    #19

    Sep 20, 2005, 08:01 PM
    I will date a stripper. Oops, I am married. :o

    Another vote for NOT being a stripper. The industry is just too questionable for anyone to get into. Even if your BF is an understanding one and won't mind it, you should really evaluate all options before being a stripper.
    thomas2000's Avatar
    thomas2000 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Sep 25, 2005, 09:40 AM
    "Stripper"
    This type of question is both 2 sided on one side I am guy so my first reaction is HELL NO. But there is always a but and that is if you want to try it out then I might ask you why seriously why? What "inspired" my girlfriend to want to become a stripper and if it si a good answer thenI would say OK then let me have some people check out the place and tell me if they consider a good place for you to work there. Because I would never let myslef end up there plus you have to think what if he wanted to strip for girls would you like it. Either way all you need to do is really consider both peoples opinions.
    Bye Thomas2000

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