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lacey2011 · Apr 7, 2011, 08:57 PM

We have been dating for 3 1/2 years - He said that it's not working out and he needs time apart. We talked about his issues. Then, he suggested couples counseling, which I accept and researched. Didn't talk for about 4 days - which is long for us. We talk or see each other everyday.

We met and went out, but at the end of the evening he said it's not working again and he doesn't want to do couples counseling. We haven't talked for a week. I sent him two emails: one stating that I'm thinking of him. He responded sweetly; Second email, I maturely spoke of my problems and hopes for my future and stated that time has been positive. I didn't say I wanted him back, but that I love and miss him. He hasn't responded yet, but it's only been a day.

I understand losing him will be hard and I'll get through it, of course. I believe we have many issues that we can work out and make us stronger. I know he feels unstable financially and about his future.

I feel sorry for him - he seems so confused and sad. I just to help him, but he is pushing me away. I don't know what to do. I want to be with him and support him.

Sumitkumar7266 · Apr 7, 2011, 09:06 PM

It's really tough not to see or talk with someone with whom you was meeting daily and talking too.. Anyway the fact is if it is not working out,U are trying from your side and he should also try.. Think about your future too.. May be he is trying for the happiness in other relationship.. U just leave it to time and don't do the things which will make you feel later that you shouldn't have done.. Like mailing him a lot or trying to talk again.. If there is love in your relationship.. he will feel his mistake and will come again.. Just wait and let time do everything for u.. Sometym we don't have any control of something.. What we can do is wait and watch.. Take care..

amicon · Apr 7, 2011, 10:55 PM

You leave him to help himself and concentrate on your own healing.

It seems pretty clear to me that he's wishing for no contact,so he,too can heal.

Respect that,for your own sake as well.

talaniman · Apr 9, 2011, 09:18 PM

Sorry but you better leave him alone because he doesn't want you to do anything for him.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 10, 2011, 12:31 PM

Give him what he wants. That is the best way to help him.
Now is time to concentrate on you. Move on.

lacey2011 · Apr 20, 2011, 07:23 PM

Well, after 8 days, called left a message and emailed saying that I thought it was better to end our relationship. The next morning he called and cried he wanted to see and be with me. That we could work it out. Then, we hung out. I went out of town, seemed positive. Called him and then he told me he was uncomfortable with all the communication. I didn't call. He called, left a message, "Well, if you want to call you should." That he was sorry for being uncommunicative. I called back the next day to his answering machine - didn't leave a message. Then he called back, seemed kind of positive chitchat. Then, it went weird. I said pretty much that I wasn't afraid to call, just that I didn't know what to say. That I was keeping distance more for myself at this point. He sounded like he wanted to see me, but being insulted, I still remained nice and said talk later kind of thing. Weird. Am I pushing him away? I feel like I don't know him anymore. We were once so close.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 20, 2011, 09:07 PM

He obviously does not know what he wants and you are the one likely to be hurt.
Consider yourselves done. Don't call him.
Don't let him play the back and forth game with you.

amicon · Apr 20, 2011, 10:20 PM

Leave it-you don't need his immature games.

Time to call it quits.

Sumitkumar7266 · Apr 20, 2011, 11:43 PM

You are not pushing him away.. It's the condition and situation which is letting you do.. He is confused and he don't know how to proceed.. Whatever is the problem.First think about yourself.. U want to support him,love him,But this is possible only if he will let you do and your heart want to do truly.. Just leave him with some space in your relationship.. Sometime break is required in a relation to know the real worth of the relation.. Just stop being nice with him.. Get busy in yourself.. He will realise.. If he is coming with the same love then it's OK or else there will be something better god has planned for you.. Leave everything to time..