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    My boyfriend wants to do a 3-some?

    Asked May 27, 2007, 11:32 AM 89 Answers
    Hi, I'm 28 years old and my boyfriend of six months wants me to actively participate in a three some with a large man who is a wrestler. I am a 5'4" petite, 112 pounds, my boyfriend is 6'0" and 195 pounds, while the third party man is 6'7" and 340 pounds. I am afraid the third man will really be too big? He also really wants me to go down on him (the wrestler)! My boyfriend then is particularly interested in doing a double penetration. What should I do?

    Last edited by christine98033; May 27, 2007 at 11:45 AM.
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    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #2

    May 27, 2007, 12:05 PM
    Why does he want to share his girlfriend with some stupid wrestler?? If I were you, I would punch him for wanting me to be part of this 3some
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    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #3

    May 27, 2007, 12:27 PM
    If you go along with his request just because he wants you to do this, you are going to resent him if there is even one hint of anything that is not to your liking. I would just say no and be done with this. What are the guarantees that you are going to be safe? What happens if you do start this and want to stop once all this starts? I don't like this, not because of the kinky aspect but because you are leery of this and I imagine feel pressured by your boyfriend to do this for him. For him. Not for you, but for him. Selfish, isn't he?
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 80,450, Reputation: 7605
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    #4

    May 27, 2007, 12:44 PM


    Well him that perhaps he should go down on him first and let him do him first if he wants a threesome so bad.

    My only question I guess is why you are even asking, dump the jerk and find a boyfriend that will really love and respect you.
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    jillianleab's Avatar
    jillianleab Posts: 1,194, Reputation: 279
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    #5

    May 27, 2007, 12:49 PM
    If you are at all uncomfortable engaging in such an act, don't! If you get pressured into this, you are setting yourself up for the end of your relationship. Of course, the fact your boyfriend wants to do this might be the end as well, but there's no reason to EVER do anything sexually you aren't comfortable in doing. There are plenty of guys out there, I'm sure, who would be willing to have one-on-one sex with you - as is! :)
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,573, Reputation: 10720
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    #6

    May 27, 2007, 01:08 PM
    Don't do anything you don't want to just to please someone else. Tell him to take his freaky deaky arse somewhere else.
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    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,668, Reputation: 1707
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    #7

    May 27, 2007, 01:13 PM
    Do not do it. You will regret it. If your not comfortable in doing it don't. Just let him know your not willing. If there is a problem then he is not a true boyfriend and your better without. Do not let him do this to you.

    Joe
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    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #8

    May 27, 2007, 09:42 PM
    Wait... He wants a 3 way with... ANOTHER GUY?? He is not who you think he is.
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    Sunshine2's Avatar
    Sunshine2 Posts: 70, Reputation: 11
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    #9

    May 27, 2007, 09:51 PM
    OK, havinga threesome with another girl is bad enoogh, but with another guy. This might be the red flag, no forget that, no red banner!!
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    LuvMyMaltipoo's Avatar
    LuvMyMaltipoo Posts: 281, Reputation: 39
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    #10

    May 27, 2007, 09:58 PM
    I'm trying to think of a more polite way to say this, but I can't:

    RUN and run fast (I would get a quick kick in "you know where" first). The fact that he wants to have a three-some with another guy does make me think though. It could be a red flag. Be careful.

    If you do not want to do this, don't! You never really stated your opinion on this matter... if it was a complete 'NO' or if it's a maybe. If you ARE consdiering this, consider your safety. If all you know is that he's a wrestler then you should be cautious... who knows where he's been or what he's got. Know what I mean?
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    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #11

    May 27, 2007, 10:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by LuvMyMaltipoo
    I'm trying to think of a more polite way to say this, but I can't:

    RUN and run fast (I would get a quick kick in "you know where" first). The fact that he wants to have a three-some with another guy does make me think though. It could be a red flag. Be careful.

    If you do not want to do this, don't! You never really stated your opinion on this matter... if it was a complete 'NO' or if it's a maybe. If you ARE consdiering this, consider your safety.
    Okay you had me agreeing to this point.

    Quote Originally Posted by LuvMyMaltipoo
    If all you know is that he's a wrestler then you should be cautious... who knows where he's been or what he's got. Know what I mean?
    No. What do you mean?
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    LuvMyMaltipoo's Avatar
    LuvMyMaltipoo Posts: 281, Reputation: 39
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    #12

    May 27, 2007, 10:11 PM
    I meant, she knows nothing about the guy except for the fact that's he's a wrestler. She doesn't know how many people he has slept with or if he has any STDs. I meant use protection.

    LOL, after rereading that, I didn't know what I meant either! ;)
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    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
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    #13

    May 27, 2007, 10:17 PM
    What is this whole business of Three some all about? Is he your boyfriend or some Porn producer?
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    WTFO's Avatar
    WTFO Posts: 21, Reputation: 4
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    #14

    May 27, 2007, 11:11 PM
    Consider this - he is only a boyfriend and Not a husband. He has nothing seriously invested in this relationship. In other words, if you go along with this and then get angry or hurt he will simply toss you aside and find another person to play in his games. A husband & wife would have so much more to risk that they rarely venture into this kind of thing - at least not without considering how much true emotional damage it could cost.
    It seems he wants to watch more than be a part of it, tell him (as you're walking out the door for the Very Last Time) to rent a movie...
    I really hope you have more self-respect than he thinks you have.
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    nymphetamine's Avatar
    nymphetamine Posts: 900, Reputation: 109
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    #15

    May 27, 2007, 11:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by christine98033
    Hi, I'm 28 years old and my boyfriend of six months wants me to actively participate in a three some with a large man who is a wrestler. I am a 5'4" petite, 112 pounds, my boyfriend is 6'0" and 195 pounds, while the third party man is 6'7" and 340 pounds. I am afraid the third man will really be too big? He also really wants me to go down on him (the wrestler)! My boyfriend then is particularily interested in doing a double penetration. What should I do?
    I would not do it. Something like that will ruin your reputation forever. I hear guys talking about that kind of stuff all the time. You will be labeled as a slut and not in a good way. Not too many men respect a female that lets two men go on her like that.
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    SouthernBelle06's Avatar
    SouthernBelle06 Posts: 166, Reputation: 83
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    #16

    May 28, 2007, 05:25 AM
    Sorry to say, but your boyfriend has no respect for you and very likely no love for you. Are you actually a couple or is he someone you are "hooking up with" sexually where he doesn't consider the two of you a true couple while you do?

    I wouldn't do participate in this for several reasons.

    1. If this boyfriend loved you, he likely would be jealous at the thoughts of another guy touching you. He wouldn't want to watch some guy having sex with you. Therefore I think he doesn't love you. Do you want to compromise your values for someone who doesn't love you? You will lose a lot of self respect if you are against this type of thing and go through with it because you don't want to "lose" him. (Personally I think you would be lucky to "lose" him.)

    2. If you do this threesome thinking it will be a one time only thing, you may need to think again. If he knows he can push you to participate in one of his fantasies despite your reservations, he most likely will try to talk you into more and more sexual situations that you are uncomfortable with.

    3. If you do this threesome, you are breaking any bonds of commitment the two of you have and you are inviting future infidelity from your boyfriend. If fidelity is something that you value, you are in for a rude awakening. If your boyfriend were to cheat on you in the future after you have participated in this threesome, he can always throw it in your face... "well, you had sex with the wrestler while we were together." You are just asking for a huge mess.

    There are some couples who enjoy unconventional sex lives and participate in activities such as swinging and group sex and they still stay together. It doesn't seem to bother either because they both want that type of lifestyle. Fidelity between the two of them alone is not important. If it works for them fine, but is that the kind of relationship you want? Or do you want a committed, loving respectful relationship where the two of you only have sex with each other? This is what most people, myself included, strive for. If your boyfriend wants the former lifestyle and you want the latter, you are terribly mismatched and incompatible.

    Sure some men may have fantasies about unconventional sexual situations but they don't act on them or push their partner to do something they don't want to do. If my boyfriend seriously tried to get me to participate in a threesome, not just in a passing joking fashion (which is fine) knowing I was against it, I would lose my temper, say some very choice words to him, and then dump him. I want a guy that loves me so much, he wants me for himself only and wants to give himself to me only.
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    Lowtax4eva's Avatar
    Lowtax4eva Posts: 2,467, Reputation: 190
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    #17

    May 28, 2007, 08:16 AM
    Umm.. congratulations? What do you expect someone to say? Why ask for advice and then not even consider or listen to it. If you want an open sexual relationship, well now you have it.
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    LuvMyMaltipoo's Avatar
    LuvMyMaltipoo Posts: 281, Reputation: 39
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    #18

    May 28, 2007, 10:14 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by christine98033
    We did use protection as someone eluded to above. He did later make me go down on him again to finish him off and made me swallow.
    So, I'm assuming you know that STDs can be transmitted orally, too? I mean, it's not certain that he does have anything, but if he does I guess you will know sooner or later.

    Did you even read the responses to this question before you agreed to this? I highly doubt it. Why did you ask to begin with?

    Sorry but I do not think you made a wise decision!
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    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #19

    May 28, 2007, 10:24 AM
    How much did your boyfriend enjoy seeing this other naked, sexually aroused man?

    That would freak me out. But then again, I'm straight.
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    jillianleab's Avatar
    jillianleab Posts: 1,194, Reputation: 279
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    #20

    May 28, 2007, 10:38 AM
    I hope this doesn't ruin your relationship with your boyfriend. If you do things like this in the future, you might want to consider using protection during oral sex as well; someone above mentioned STDs can be transmitted that way as well, and they are correct. Condoms aren't just for preventing pregnancy!
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