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    brianslove's Avatar
    brianslove Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 24, 2011, 05:19 AM
    Boyfriend in Vegas
    My boyfriend is in Vegas for a week with two of his single buddies. Of course strip clubs are on the agenda :( I am having a major problem accepting that. It makes me sick knowing that he will be lusting for another. Lusting? Yes, that's what you do at strip clubs. It clearly states in Matthew 5:28 that he who lusts for a woman has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I'm not sleeping and having a problem with lack of appetite as well. Maybe seeing what others think about this will ease my mind? Help!
    Kahani Punjab's Avatar
    Kahani Punjab Posts: 510, Reputation: 203
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    #2

    Oct 24, 2011, 07:54 AM
    Brainslove,

    Welcome to this wonderful site, first!

    All wise men (or, women) think together, is what we often listen. But who will decide who is wise and who is fool. Many ladies have no, believe me, no objection at all to their hubbies or buddies watching strip-tease or so. Many have. Depends upon person to person. Still, in the heart of heart, every woman thinks and believes and dreams and desires that his boyfriend or husband should satiate his sexual thirst with 'her' only. But, when men deviate, they have to digest/accept. Many do. You are not a loner. But, talk to him, if you do not gratify his desire. It can help you somewhat. But, still, nothing wrong. Many accept it as normal, usually.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,305, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Oct 24, 2011, 09:28 AM
    Please understand, that first he is single, you say boyfriend, so he is not married.
    Next he must not be that religious ( you may be since you quote the bible) or he would have not wanted or not decided to go to a strip club.

    But "lust" sorry he is a man, I would say he "lusts" about 100 times a day, to the lady at walmart with the short skirt, to the lady crossing the street in skin tight clothes, and to half naked women on TV.
    So he already lusts, and if you are going to hold this against him, ( or any man) just decide to live alone, since all men will fall sort of the level you require.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #4

    Oct 24, 2011, 01:57 PM
    That's all in your head.

    If you trust him & your relationship, then you don't have anything to worry about.

    Are you that insecure?

    What will be, will be.

    You are freaking about something that hasn't even happened yet. Crazy.

    Be careful what you wish for. Let him have his fun & you have yours.
    What are you doing while he's away? Flipping out?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,306, Reputation: 10854
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    #5

    Oct 24, 2011, 02:57 PM
    What there are no strip clubs in your town? What good is it to make yourself sick over guy stuff?

    I mean most guys have lust in there hearts over the TV weather lady, what's the difference?

    Not worth making yourself sick over, or making him feel guilty about, once he gets back. After he buys his buddies a few rounds, he won't be able to gamble, which is why most people go to Vegas for, not the strip clubs.

    I have heard males strip clubs with female customers are much wilder.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #6

    Oct 24, 2011, 03:04 PM
    There's this helicopter weather girl here that is so cute.

    Damn. I blow kisses to my TV screen whenever she's on...
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #7

    Oct 24, 2011, 03:13 PM
    I believe this is an internal problem. You need to trust your boyfriend, if there is no trust then there is no relationship. Then, you need to work on your personal self confidence because it seems like you have a low self esteem. Lastly, you need to focus on more important things, if he went to Las Vegas is to have fun, the last thing he wants is for your jealousy issues to spoil his trip with two of his buddies. I can almost guarantee you though that if you remain collected and relaxed, and don't ask questions when he gets back, he would very much appreciate your confidence and trust in him, if you do otherwise, he will hate it.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #8

    Oct 24, 2011, 05:11 PM
    Kahani said something, I hope you caught:

    "who will decide who is wise and who is fool"

    Thanks, Kahani.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #9

    Oct 24, 2011, 06:05 PM
    How long have you been dating? How serious is your relationship and does he feel the same way? Has he been to strip clubs before? Did he know how you felt about it before he left?

    While many would see his interest to go as perfectly normal, and just having fun with his friends, if you feel that strongly that is it wrong, then you will have to decide if this is the relationship for you to be in.

    Consider the fact that he was open and honest with you about what the plans were. I know it makes you uncomfortable, as it does many women, but try to think of it as the guys just having a bit of entertainment by looking and that is all. Most of their time won't be spent there.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #10

    Oct 24, 2011, 06:19 PM
    Don't worry, be happy.

    You got to feel confident. Why wouldn't you? Not really sure what you worried about.

    Sounds like it goes beyond this week. Trust & judgement are cousins.

    Couples need to have fun, Together & apart. Yup.

    Be cool when he gets back, take it from there.


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