Last night my boyfriend and I got into a horrible argument (over something really stupid but I think it's kind of... personal and maybe inappropriate to talk about on the forum).

He had this scary psychopathic look in his eyes that I have never seen from him and we've been dating almost two years now. I didn't feel like I did anything wrong at all, and I was just crying and crying my eyes out and he was acting like he totally did not care AT ALL. You wouldn't believe how cold he was. He just kept telling me to "GET OUT, GET OUT" of his house and threatening to throw me out and even call the police because I didn't want to leave... he even tried to man handle me out of the front door. I just wanted to sit down and TALK to him but he was being completely irrational and angry. He kept calling me "stupid" and "dense" and throwing all kinds of abusive hateful comments at me (again, over something really STUPID). He also yelled "WE'RE DONE!" etc...

Anyway, I told him something so personal many months ago (thinking I could trust him)... that I used to cut myself and one time I had slit my wrist and ended up in the emergency room, (and subsequently, the psych ward). During this argument, he threw that in my face telling me, "Get out! Go slit your wrist again I don't give a ****", when I started to cry. Now I wish I had never told him that at all.

I couldn't believe he said that to me... he claims to "love" me but how can you say something like that to someone you "love"? I could NEVER say anything like that to someone that I even passively care about on a platonic level (let alone in a romantic relationship with) no matter HOW angry I am.

He wanted me to leave so he could "cool off" from his anger, but I don't deal with issues in that way. I like to deal with the problem NOW and TALK about it. I was way too upset to drive back to my house in the middle of the night, which is like 20 minutes away.

We did make up that night and I stayed over and left his house this morning... he was acting all normal and kissing me and telling me "I love you" before I drove off. Is he just ****ing crazy? Could you ever forgive someone who throws something in your face like that? That really hurt me so badly. I don't think I can ever forgive him. Since I will never forgive him for that most likely, maybe I should just end this? I just fear ending another relationship because before him I already went through a bad break-up.

What makes this all worse is that tomorrow is his birthday (Sep. 2nd) and even though he tried to act like nothing happened (he never even gave a real apology even though he knew he was in the wrong for blowing up like that), I don't know whether I should even say happy birthday or buy him anything. Maybe I should just ignore him now and let it fade away. I don't know.