My Boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. In the beginning he was perfect. We never fought and agreed on almost everything. We had the same background and felt the same way about a lot of important things. Over the first year we completely fell in love with each other and spent very little time apart. Around a year and a half he started working a lot more than he used to he was working around 60 hours +/- a week. He became cranky and moody and our relationship began to crumble. He began lying to me about everything and one night we had a bad argument which ended in me dumping him. About a week or so later we were back together but he was different. He said that he loved me and always would but that he didn't feel the same way about me. I think he just was angry that I actually dumped him and still holds a grudge. Over the next few weeks all we did was fight and go from together to not together. I finally had enough and told him that he either wanted me or didn't and he needed to decide. He chose me... but continued to ditch me for his friends and lie to me. A few days ago I told him I was completely broken down and had nothing left to give. I made the point that I was always there for him and he wasn't for me. I was ready to leave the relationship when he said no I love you lets just take a break. We are on break now and not talking or anything. He told a friend of mine that we are just going through a rough patch and that everything will be fine. That the reason for this is that I am too controlling because I always needed to know where he was when he wasn't with me. I only wanted to know because I care. Am I too controlling? Do I have a right to know where he is and what he does?

Sounds like he isn't ready for a REAL relationship.

Hun, you need to move on. If its not working, its not working.

Have some respect for yourself, and stop holding onto something that's not there and not working.

As long as he is holding a grudge and not taking responsibility for his part in your relationship it will never work. His saying you are controlling shows he is seeing the relationship in a whole different light than you are.

Sorry hun, that excuse "I only want to know because I care" isn't going to work on me. I have seen it countless times and used it myself, it's to keep tabs whether you want to admit it or not.

Him holding a grudge against you will continue to tear at the seams until it's forgotten about or the relationship is damaged beyond repair. You guys need to communicate the problems at hand or it's going to fail.

I think you two should sit down and talk about it face to face.
Try to find a common ground where you are both happy.
When he goes out, ask him for a quick call or txt when he gets home just to make sure he's all right and safe.

Not... so sure if this relationship'll work out.

You don't trust him. Romefalls is right. "because I care..." is bs. What do you care about? That... what... something can go wrong while he's out? It's more or less that you want to know what he's up to.. right?

He wants some time and space to hang out with his friends... right? We all need time apart. It's not like he's going out to meet women. He's just hanging out with his buddies.

I suggest you either give him some time off... some space, or become "that crazy clingy girlfriend" and eventually let this relationship take a tumble.

Is it just me, if a phone call every now and then would make you feel better, what's the issue??

Or maybe tell him that's all you need, and see what he does, as you may be controlling, and blowing things out of control, but whats more telling is an inability to co-operate on a trusting, caring level.

Yes you do, but not every minute, how about waiting until he comes home and tells you. If you have trust, you don't need to jump him for information. Just me, this is a sign of your own insecurity, and my question is does he feed that feeling which makes it worse?

Or do you obsess about his whereabouts?

Like what??

OK I didn't read the other post so sorry if I'm repeating anything

The fact that you need to know where he is at all times is NOT healthy.. my ex and I made that mistake, we always knew where each other were and for some reason it wears down the relationship.. it's so not healthy.. you both need to get your own lives and honestly it's none of your business what he's doing as long as if he's not cheating, and he can tell you if he wants.. take this advice or you will truly loose him..

Look, I didn't want to know where he was every second. All I did was ask that he told me what he was doing instead of lying and saying "I'm going to bed". He would tell me that and then later I'd find out he was out with his friends. I really don't care if he hangs out with his friends or w/e but I think I deserve to know the truth and not some b/s lie!

So if he changes his mind, or his plans that's lying?? I hope you have a better example of lying than that.

I am going through a similar situation... relationships are very difficult... we were together for two years... started this new job in August and was never around... I became needier and he withdrew further... he ended up wanting a break a month ago but we have been talking sporadically since then... He bought such an expensive gift for christmas but still wants to be apart because I am always yelling and expecting things from him... you need to focus on you now... don't call him for like three weeks and if he calls don't ignore him... just act happy... he will come back to you... you need to reeveluate yourself... and he needs to respect you again... so start going out having fun even if you're miserable and don't call for three weeks... so far it is my third day of not calling... very difficult but it will be good.. I read this in this really good book