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    passionate89's Avatar
    passionate89 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 23, 2012, 02:03 AM
    Boyfriend hates me working.
    My boyfriend hates me working. We’ve been together nearly 2 yrs. And have been living together for 1yr. I'm 23 and he is 30.

    I am a more career orientated that him. He’s happy to hop, skip and jump jobs with no career in mind (I don’t have problem with that). He hates that I want to do well in life, earn well, and get up the ladder so that it benefits US & OUR future together. We love each other immensely and are looking to get married soon and have kids.

    My issue is that if I NEED to stay at work 10 minutes, or a half hour more than finishing time, he gets very angry and yells at me. I know it's not a trust issue because we keep in touch on my work email anyway. I earn more than him and we cannot survive on his salary alone, so I'm doing my best to do well, to save money when kids come along.

    I enjoy my work, am very passionate about it. The minute I tell him I’ve left work even 10 minutes late, he has a go at me saying 'you live to work, that's all you do'. I don’t stay 10-15 minutes late everyday though. I'm in meetings most of the day so hardly get work done at my desk, I need to delegate to my team, so I need to do bits and pieces just after the meetings. Max I've stayed late is 45 minutes, that's occasionally.

    We have this argument nearly every day and he'll have a go at me and then keep quiet (angry quiet) ALL night and the next morning. I'd rather not come home if he is going to keep doing this to me. As is work can be quite full on and I need some peace and love when I come home. I'm not sure what to do and what the heck his problem is. It depressed me and I miss all the love we shared.

    Please help me.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Sep 23, 2012, 04:08 AM
    Next time he starts to yell, walk away, don't allow it, tell him to take a walk and that you will no longer be treated and talked to like a child.

    Explain, this is his issue and his problem, and that if he does not like your choices, he can move out,

    Sorry but time to wake him up and make him grow up.

    And honestly, time for you really to do better, than this
    semiramis78's Avatar
    semiramis78 Posts: 43, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Sep 23, 2012, 04:33 AM
    He is 30 and doesn't have any career in mind? Do you really want the father of your kids be like that? Specially now that you are so different and can make a fantastic future with someone that thinks the same as you.

    In the end you have to decide...
    LadySam's Avatar
    LadySam Posts: 1,589, Reputation: 322
    Cats Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 23, 2012, 07:33 AM
    It seems as if he is in a rut and is just as happy to pull you right in there with him.
    Dare I even say that he is jealous that you posses the qualities he does not, drive, ambition and direction, not to mention the fact that alone you would be much more self sufficient than he.
    You are young and seem to have a good head on your shoulders.
    You boyfriend needs to grow up.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Sep 23, 2012, 12:19 PM
    Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Fr_Chuck again

    Clearly you both are different and not on the same page so you better draw the line of what's acceptable behavior, or find a better options for the future.

    You can't expect a boy to do a mans job, no matter what his age is.

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