I have been together for almost two years with my boyfriend. We have had a great relationship, a bit up and down at times, with discussions, but in the end we have always realized that we're fighting over something stupid and dropped it. I have even moved to a different city to be with him and left my old life behind and am looking for a new job etc. We have always talked about the future we want to have together with marriage and kids etc.

Now last night I was cleaning out some old stuff and found a pharmacy receipt for condoms. He had last weekend in the middle of the night when he had told me he hung out with a guy friend gone and bought condoms. I called him up right away and he played dumb and said he had no idea how that receipt ended up in our apartment since he had been sitting at a bar drinking beer with his friend at the time. He said he understood that I probably had a hard time believing him but he swore that that was the truth and that I am the women of his life and that he has never cheated on me. Later, I then got confirmed that his guy friend had never left his house on that night. I then confronted my boyfriend and he said he was so so sorry. We talked and it turns out he had been speaking to some old school friend on MSN for a month and just that Saturday (that we had spent together being on a dinner and we had had a really good time) she had called/texted him asking if he wanted to meet up for a drink. So getting home from the dinner he left me and said he was meeting up with his guy friend and went to meet her. On the way he bought the condoms.

He then says that nothing happened, they met, talked, took a beer and then in the end said good bye, just as friends. Without even so much as a kiss. He had changed his mind and therefore never even used the condoms, he had bought them just in case. Now. I wonder what to do. He says that he is a million times sorry that he knows he was an a**hole and that he would never do it again, that he loves me and that I am the perfect woman for him and that he would marry me tomorrow if I so wanted.

I feel so hurt. We had talked about infidelity and that we would never do that to one another. He had an ex who cheated on him before and was very hurt by that. I really don't understand WHY this happened, he said he felt stressed at work and that we had been fighting from time to time and also felt stressed about that. I do really love him and I had imagined my life with him, so what do I do? I don't feel I can trust him ever, since he only came clean once I had asked around about where his guy friend had been that night. If I hadn't found the condom receipt he would've never told me. I feel in my heart I want to be with him and continue our relationship. But how do I ever get back the trust?

Hey seui, I can relate and I understand how u feel. I mean it is hard, it feels as if he just took your heart and stumped on it. But hun, if you want it to work out. Leave it in the past; he didn't do anything, and chica you should be grateful for that. I know I am lol. But I'm not saying just to forget it and act like nothing never happened. He has to earn your trust back, but I'm not saying hold it over his head for like 5 years later. As for right now he hurt you, he betrayed your trust, give yourself time to heal and you guys just take it one step at a time ; let him show your how sorry he is and let him no if a situation happenes like this again, its time to let it go (plain & simple)

People tend to live up to our expectations of them... if you guys move past this, you will have to let go of the past and what he almost did - and he will have to let go of HIS past and infidelity. There is no two ways about this - you have to move on from this or you're sunk. Is the relationship worth it?

Infidelity is usually not the START of a problem but a symptom of other denials and festering issues without both people.
Maybe with communication or counseling you can work through this together. (As well on the stress and conflict that lead him to this) .

You can't know if he's telling you the truth unless you saw that exact box of condoms. The fact that he lied about it only means he didn't want to get hurt/lose you... you can never prevent him from cheating -- if he's going to cheat, he will find a way! All the worrying in the world and all the "knowing" is not a part of trusting. You can't control this. The only thing you can control is your present relationship.

All you can do from this point forward is build your connection and communication back up to the point where you expect each day that he loves/cares about you. Or you can leave.

Don't be Naïve either; if something else happens (and with real life cheaters something always does) - you'll have your answer.

Hopefully this was a momentary lapse of reason - it definitely happens in loving couples.
Good luck.