I've been with my partner for nearly 7 years. Been through some crappy times and been through some good times. For last couple of years, his mistrust of my fidelity has been getting worse.

Recently, we had a large fight over email. It started as casual email and next thing I knew he was going off about us never spending time together and that I've been cheating on him. We haven't spoken for nearly a week (we live together and imagine how how hard it has been).

So yesterday, decided that I would try to talk to him. Basically got no talking about anything but other than finding out what I already knew. He thinks that I'm cheating in him with someone from work. This he deducted from me wearing skirts and looking nice again and apparently I'm always home late (I have no life and go home straight after work but yet apparently I'm never home on time but I'm always home before him) and that he sees 'stuff' on my underwear.

I don't know whether to feel hurt or pissed off with this. I can honestly say, I've never cheated and I swear that on my own life and I'm happy for him to take my suspect underwear and get it tested and even take a lie detector test. I can't even have thrush (ahem pardon my frankness) without thinking he would think I'm cheating.

After a very long drawn out fight yesterday, I just couldn't look him in the eye and see trust in it. I just don't understand how a problem that doesn't exist can cause something like this. I left to go to my Uncle's place, I couldn't stay. He said that he didn't trust me.

Should I go back and try to make it work or is there no way of getting past this?

I deserve the trust but yet I am not getting it. Am I wasting my time with him?

Any advice for someone who has gone through the same would be appreciated. I don't know where to go to from here.

Thanks in advance.

I haven't gone through this, and I cannot tell you what to do, it's your life. But here is my opinion;

Has he always been this untrusting or is this a new thing? Is there something in his life that is troubling him and he's taking it out on you?

The fact is, you've been together for 7 years, so obviously there is something keeping you together. I don't know why he doesn't trust you, but obviously he's feeling insecure about your relationship, and he's taking it out on you. That isn't right, and he has no right to do it.

I would sit down and talk things out with him, maybe try couples therapy and get everything out in the open. You obviously cannot stay with someone who doesn't trust you, that is a means to an end.

Good luck!

Trust is more than feelings and it's something that we built over time with people around us. If either one party has lost the trust, it's very hard to gain it back... well, it'll never be the same again, regardless of who's right and/or who's wrong... unfortunately. I'd suggest, if possible, give each other some time, and when the time is right, talk things over.

Those who can't trust, can't be trusted... sorry

After 7 years, there should be no question of trust, so maybe getting on with your life, in a new direction is what you need. Unbelievable.