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    Qwerasdfzxcv's Avatar
    Qwerasdfzxcv Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 2, 2016, 12:31 AM
    My boyfriend doesn't like my male best friend.
    So I've known my boyfriend for 8+ years we recently started dating in August of 2015 and been official for about 3 - 4 months now. We both have little boys and they are about a year in a half apart and we are both single full time parents. My sons god father is my best friend but we call each other cousin I've know him for about 6+ years. I rent my home from my "cousins" dad which I call him "uncle" well recently I discovered through my sons God MOTHER who is actually blood related to my boyfriend that my boy friend does not like that me and my sons God father hang out ALLL the time. We hang out max 2-4 time a week. My boyfriend lives far and I only see him on Saturdays and Sunday. So my sons God mother told me that if the shoe was on the other foot he knows I would not like it which is very true. I am to the point where I value our relationship and think I should stop hanging out with my "cousin" for a while I am happy with my boyfriend and the last thing I want to do is make him feel some type of way.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #2

    Feb 2, 2016, 01:07 AM
    I had a very similar situation, before I married my husband. He too, didn't like that my best friend, male, lived just a few doors down.

    I told my boyfriend in no uncertain terms that I would NEVER give up my best friend, for him, or anybody.

    He never said a word after that, or I would have dumped him.

    Think long and hard about anybody who would expect you to give up a friend simply because of insecurity/jealousy, or whatever the problem is.

    It may be a good sign as well, that this new man in your life, may not be the man for you.
    Qwerasdfzxcv's Avatar
    Qwerasdfzxcv Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Feb 2, 2016, 12:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    I had a very similar situation, before I married my husband. He too, didn't like that my best friend, male, lived just a few doors down.

    I told my boyfriend in no uncertain terms that I would NEVER give up my best friend, for him, or anybody.

    He never said a word after that, or I would have dumped him.

    Think long and hard about anybody who would expect you to give up a friend simply because of insecurity/jealousy, or whatever the problem is.

    It may be a good sign as well, that this new man in your life, may not be the man for you.

    I kind of want to sweep it under the rug... And kind of my hang out with my bestie as much just because if the role was switched I wouldn't like it... Would that be a bad thing?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,244, Reputation: 10853
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    #4

    Feb 2, 2016, 02:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Qwerasdfzxcv View Post
    I kind of want to sweep it under the rug... And kind of my hang out with my bestie as much just because if the role was switched I wouldn't like it... Would that be a bad thing?
    Yeah that's a bad thing that can only get worse.

    It's not a good sign that this relationship is already being poisoned by jealousy and insecurity this early, and with the help of a biased 3rd party no less.

    How is this healthy? Either set boundaries or be controlled by HIS fears and insecurities. The shoe isn't on the other foot so how is that a rational argument?

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