So here is the story. My boyfriend and I literally had what was closest to the perfect relationship. We never fought, and truly love each other. For the past 5 years or so (since we've been together and before it) He has had depression issues. After we had been a together for a while he finally confided in me about this. I told him he needed to get help, and he did. He told his doctor and they prescribed him Lexapro. After being on it for a little over two weeks, he completely changed. He became unaffectionate towards me, and really didn't care. This was such a change for him because since the day we got together he's texted me every morning, during his break at work, then called me to say goodnight. (I'm in college and we are in a long distance relationship, but it worked for us.) He kept telling me the medicine was making him not care about anything in his life, including me. I begged him to go off it and he did. That is when he told me that one night he went out to the bar with a girl from work, got drunk, blacked out (the medicine & alcohol together are a horrible mix) and cheated on me. I was devastated and broke up with him. Ever since, he has been calling and texting me nonstop begging for my forgiveness, telling me how sorry he is and that he is willing to quit his job and move out here to be with me. He tells me how badly he wants to marry me and have a baby with me. I've have yelled and screamed at him in anger and he puts up with everything saying that he deserves everything I will ever say to him. He swears up and down that he will never hurt me again. He literally cries over the fact that we aren't together every single day. He also changed his medication and is going to counseling and asked me to come with him. I've never seen anyone care this much about a relationship. I'm not sure if I should give him another chance. I really honestly think he would never do it again. What should I do? Do you think people really can change?

I think every human desreve second chance , we are all humans , and no one is perfect , best thing when you do mistake is learn from it to not do it again , I think he is serious right now , breaking up will not solve any thing , it will get worst and worst, for better it's forgivness

I'd forgive him. After all, you are the one who talked him into going off the first meds. He seems to really love you.

Overall though, the issue isn't about what happened one night and what might have 'caused' it. You are in a long distance relationship and those are very, very difficult to maintain without losing contact with people around you. There will be some occasions when either person will be tempted, and there needs to be more room for forgiveness or it won't work, period.

First of all, there is no pefect relationship. You start by saying that you never argue, and things were perfect. That is just not realistic; nor is it a measure of how healthy the relationship is.

Secondly, being on an anti depressant does not cause a person to have an affair. He may, after two weeks on the medication, have had adverse effects, or may have been experiencing some side effects, but I have never seen 'may cause one to have out of control sexual urges' on the pill bottle.

What Lexepro can do, is cause changes, which is what it is supposed to do, in mood. It is a drug that balances chemicals in the brain. Because, like any drug that alters brain chemistry, regularly scheduled visits over a period, have to be made with a Doctor, to determine how the drug is working. After two weeks, it is highly unlikely that, should he have shown extreme changes in behaviour and mood, it would all have been a red light to the Doctor to decrease the doseage, and/or change the medication. Additionally, typically such a drug would not start at a high doseage, but rather work up from the minimum dose, over a period. What he blames on the drug, after two weeks, is questionable.to say the least. Do a little research on SSRI's.

What he did do, if we follow his explanation for having an affair, was take a club to work, while wearing a loin cloth, drag a co-worker to a bar by her hair, and ravish her in his cave after a night of excessive drinking. That he was not in control of his cravings, and was reduced to satisfying primal needs, and set about to conquer a woman as a result, and he did. He didn't talk properly, and his knuckles were bruised the next morning becase they were dragging on the pavement. I can only presume that his sudden, major personality change, must have caused other, equally alarming situations, also out of his control, and his employer, family, friends, would all have been concerned enough to intervene, and have him immediately assessed by an emergency room physician!

It is not uncommon for an anti depressant to do its job, which is to balance chemicals in the brain, in such a way that it elevates mood. If he is under 25, it is most likely he would have been advised by the Doctor of the possible side effects, which can include suicide, among other effects. It has to be monitored carefully as I said for the first several weeks. It is good that he visited his Doctor again, and had his medication changed. That he was recommended counselling in addition to the medication, is also good to address the depression, and his behaviour. While the original medication may have not been helpful to him, personally, I would temper what he claims it made him do, with a little common sense. I would also question this 'near perfect' relationship, if only for the fact that he is clinically depressed and requires medication and counselling- surely that alone must have caused problems during the time he was not diagnosed.

That being said, what he did do was have a one night stand. You are in a long distance relationship. He made a mistake that I presume is out of character, and he used bad judgment, and is obviously remorseful. If you can forgive him for accepting responsibility without excuses for his behaviour, and find a way to trust him again, on those merits, then I too would give him a chance to redeem himself. He is trying, and you do love him. Love is, seeing someone through a tough time and facing problems together.

It is very difficult, usually, to be involved with a person who is suffering from depression, and has not been properly diagnosed by a qualified professional, in order to get treatment. That he has been diagnosed, and is under treatment, will take time and patience to see positive, long lasting, results.

It won't happen after just two weeks on medication.

I would be hesitant to think about a second chance if he hasn't first accepted responsibility for his own behaviour.

Does he usually take responsibility for his actions or is it always someone or something else's fault? In this case the medication.

My father suffered from depression and was on medication for years, He never cheated on my mother.