I started dating my ex a little over a year ago. I had just got out of a two-year relationship, and he asked me out. We started dating a week after. We were seniors in high school, and I was his first relationship and the first person he has ever had sex with.

We had been living together at my parents for a year and recently decided it would be best if he moved out and got his own apartment because we had been fighting so much. On Thursday we broke up and Friday he got his stuff from my house and I got my stuff from his apartment. We decided we would take a break for a week and see if we can work things out. Saturday he called me asking for me back, and we got back together.

We were staying the night at his apartment when I noticed alcohol bottles were just on every table and counter of his apartment. I asked him what it was about and he said he had two friends spend the night with him and drink with him. I found a woman's hair clip on his night stand and asked him why it was there. He said one of his friends brought their girl friend, and she must have left it. I believed him and didn't think too much of it.

A few hours later, my ex falls asleep and his phone goes off. Usually I don't go through his phone, but I was just curious to see who it was. It was a girl asking him if she left a hair clip at his apartment but it wasn't the "friend's girlfriend" that he was claiming. It was a different girl. I woke him up and asked him about it. He was still really tired, and he bluntly said he had cheated.

I freaked out and started hyperventilating. I was in absolute shock I have never had any trust issues with him, and this was just a huge slap in the face. He started waking up more when he noticed me panicking, and then he started denying that he had cheated, but something just told me he was lying. I could just tell by the look on his face he had done something with a girl in his apartment the night before.

It took about an hour of me nagging before he finally admitted that he "got drunk and doesn't remember what happened". I immediately left his apartment and have been stressing out about it since last night when it happened. I am completely shocked about this. I trusted this man more than I've ever trusted a boyfriend, and I feel like he really stabbed me in the back. I am furious and hurt and have no intention of contacting him EVER.

But I'm still really devastated and I am looking for some words of advice or encouragement. If anyone can help I'd appreciate it!

But weren't you two broken up when his friends were over and he was with this other girl? As far as he knew, you were out of his life "on a break" for at least a week. He didn't cheat on you.

Did you two ever clarify what a "break" means? Did you tell him that your definition of "break" isn't really a break-up and that he is supposed to remain faithful to you and wait patiently as a single until you two resolve your relationship problem?

It still hurts.And he lied and tried to hide it.

You wrote that you had answered his cell phone when it was ringing. Then you set him up to lie. And anyway, at that time you were broken up with him.

I know you are shocked as well as hurt and disappointed, but I think you better give yourself plenty of time to let the dust settles before you make any big decisions.

This relationship had many problems before the drunken night your boyfriend had.

No I didn't answer it while it was ringing it was a text and I wasn't setting him up I was asking why this girl was texting him asking for her hair clip.

I am sorry answered it, did not answer it, you looked. You were not together when this happened so it is not cheating.
No matter how you look at it. If you force them to lie they will often lie.

I can certainly understand why you would be upset. Can you clarify about the breaking up and "being on a break to see if you can work things out"? Was the understanding that you were both now single or that you were supposedly trying to work things out?

Regardless, right or wrong, you took it as cheating... which I can understand... and he lied about it... which I can also understand. How would you have reacted if he told you what happened right then and there?

If you are done with the relationship, all you can do is give it time to get through it. It will hurt, you will be angry, he may try to get you to change your mind. Perhaps you will once you are able to get over the initial shock and hurt. The two of you may sit down and discuss what your expectations had been. Trust can sometimes be rebuilt.

In the meantime, spend time with family and friends, keep yourself busy until you decide what your next step will be.