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Megan Logue · Jan 4, 2016, 07:35 PM

So my boyfriend of 9 months was diagnosed with testicular cancer in November and since we've been through a long haul of surgeries, doc appointments, etc. Even went and banked Sperm together. Tomorrow he starts extensive chemo tx. I've been by his side the whole time, haven't skipped a beat. To me, we had a great relationship minus the stress. He told me everyday he loved me and two days ago I was the best thing that ever happened to him and thank you for being me. Prior to getting sick we were looking at places to move in together. Yesterday he broke up with me, told me he was in love with his ex still. I didn't believe it at first but it's true they have been talking for last month. He states he can't be with her but it's not fair to me him still having feelings for her. I'm completely devastated, confused, hurt, angry and not sure what to do. I love him so much and worry but at this point he has pretty much cut me off. Please help? What do I do?

talaniman · Jan 4, 2016, 07:51 PM

You do nothing for now, but leave the b@stard alone. You deserve better, and he didn't deserve you anyway.

Your hurts will heal but his actions will have consequences of their own. I know you are devastated now, but personally I am glad you are free of this person before you invested even more in him.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 5, 2016, 01:44 AM

My wife, (who died) was told she had 1 year to live (she lived 6 months) about a month after being told, she left me, all I could figure out, she did not want me to have to deal with her pain and suffering,

She was wrong, I had that pain and suffering when she died along with the pain and suffering of breaking up.

The issue here is that perhaps, he felt the need for someone he felt closer to, and often in stress we make really bad mistakes.

If he already broke up, there is not much you can do, except just move on.

talaniman · Jan 5, 2016, 03:46 AM

How long had he been with this ex? How long had they been broken up before you got with him? How old are you both?

joypulv · Jan 5, 2016, 05:33 AM

I suspect that his intentions are good, no matter how misguided. He worries constantly that you have invested much more than he deserves, for the amount of time you were together. He feels guilty. Guilt is a burden and makes him resentful. He doesn't want to feel resentful. The cycle goes round and round.

I had a bf with cancer with 18 months of radiation and chemo. I took care of him, borrowed a car from my parents to take him to daily treatments, and on and on... he was horrible the whole time. Mean as could be and angry at the whole world. I told him half way through that I was going to leave him when it was over, and I made myself do so. I had such a backlog of anger in ME by then that I knew that I would spend months or years being petty. He ended up marrying a roommate of mine, I ended up working for him, and we all were friends. Still are, 40 years later.

Stephen Hawking divorced his loving wife to marry his nurse. I have a funny feeling he wanted to do her a favor.... but I'm just guessing.