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    supergirl2008's Avatar
    supergirl2008 Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 28, 2008, 06:34 AM
    Boyfriend broke up with me cause of career & not have growing feelings.
    I am back. I started writing for advice on this forum back on feb 08 when my boyfriend broke up with me because his feeling "weren't growing". At that point we were together for 5 months. We got back to gether and decided to give it another try in March after we both got our own condos. (we previously lived across the hall from each other). Our leases were up and we both got out. So things have been amazing, he was so involved in the relationship, introduced me to his parents, I really thought things were amazing, he was calling me all the time, taking me out, being so sweet like any boyfriend needs to be. I was actually falling in love. Backtracking, my ex is a professional athlete, he went away to the olympics recently and there team lost and got eliminated. His close buddy that went to play with him recently got traded to Europe (where the big bucks are) my ex didn't. So I basically got a phone call from him yesterday (after I made him a little mad, where we NEVER fight, if we do they are little arguments that last for 5 minutes) he said that he was done with the relationship and he doest feel like his feelings are growing. He thought they would after we got back together but they don't. Of course I am confused, cause he has been so damn sweet and the perfect boyfriend to me. He always thinks I'm cheating on him and has very low self esteem. He said that he needed to be by himself and focus on his career. Things are really taking off for him and he doesn't need me as a distraction. So what the hell? 6 months of no fighting and spending day and night together and now he realizes his feelings aren't growing? When we would talk abot vacations and talking to his friends on how happy he is with me? I am very confused, but I have accepted it since this is the second time this happened. Does he not have feelings for me? Or is he trying to not let them grow. I mean, if I would get signs that he wasn't happy, this wouldn't be a shock, I know he didn't cheat either. He isn't that type of guy.

    Help.
    patt24k's Avatar
    patt24k Posts: 23, Reputation: 0
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    #2

    Aug 28, 2008, 06:40 AM
    He will probably realize how much he likes you when you become interested in somebody else. Then he'll stop playing those little games I think.
    Guidostern's Avatar
    Guidostern Posts: 247, Reputation: 17
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    #3

    Aug 28, 2008, 07:16 AM
    He may be afraid of the commitment aspect of your relationship. He could be getting too close for his comfort and forcing himself to back off. Give it some time, like Patt says, see other people... don't let him play games with your emotions. Do some things for yourself and stay busy... either this will pass and he'll see what he has done, or you will move on. I would start moving on now and not wait for him any longer.
    supergirl2008's Avatar
    supergirl2008 Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Aug 28, 2008, 09:51 AM
    Ya I don't know... he has done this 2 times in one year... he is pretty messed up!
    magrock's Avatar
    magrock Posts: 70, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Aug 28, 2008, 01:13 PM
    I would move on... he needs time alone to sort things out however do no be his support system... go & out and do your own things... he is meant 2b he will come crawling back & then you can decide if you want to give it another try!! :)
    lmangileri's Avatar
    lmangileri Posts: 211, Reputation: 11
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    #6

    Aug 28, 2008, 01:19 PM
    I agree with magrock. Just let him go. If he's done this to you twice already there's no telling how many more times he could do this. It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. Did you ask him why it was so sudden though that he ended the relationship? I know sometimes you don't get an explanation but it sounds like everything was going well and then ended abruptly.
    FULLofRACQUET's Avatar
    FULLofRACQUET Posts: 51, Reputation: 6
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    #7

    Aug 28, 2008, 01:31 PM
    If it's space that he wants, then space is what you should give him. I know what it is like to have somebody suddenly break it off with no signs beforehand. People seem to be just CRAZY sometimes!:)

    You sound like a very caring person, and your emotions don't deserve to be toyed with. Try No Contact with him for a while. Let him have this time to himself without you there. He sounds like he needs the time to himself to sort out some personal issues that he is having. Don't let his negativity and insecurities bring you down! You are courageous in the fact that you got back together with him and took another shot! Don't think that he never cared for you either, because that is never the case, especially from a story like yours. Chin up. And start doing things that you enjoy that you were limited to doing while with him.

    I have always been told, if it was meant to be, then it will be.;)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #8

    Aug 28, 2008, 01:53 PM
    After this break up, take it for what it's worth, he ain't for you, as his feeling don't match yours. Accept it, and don't be fooled a third time.
    supergirl2008's Avatar
    supergirl2008 Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Aug 28, 2008, 01:56 PM
    You I don't know if he will come back. I mean, I asked him 3 times, are you sure this is what you want? He said yes, I have decided that. Im like OK.. then good luck, but know that I am moving on right away. I will not wait for you, I will go out and date.. and then out of nowhere I get a unknown name call on my cellphone at 6:50am. I pick it up and no one answers. Weird, that NEVER happens. I bartend work wed nights, but this time I didn't because I was so sad.
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #10

    Aug 28, 2008, 02:15 PM
    My 8itch ex did the same thing.... just leave him out of your life =]

    when you see or her about your ex, you feel down... like I do =/

    It's a bump in the road, as another user stated...

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