Hello everyone! I'm new to this. Because yes it has came to this where I'm reaching out further for help with this crazy situation I'm in - Cannot wait to hear everyone's help and responses!

Let's go back to a year ago...

I had just started cosmetology school! I was so excited to start my new awesome profession. I had made all kinds of new friends & learned all kinds of things! I had a boyfriend of 6 months who I was mostly happy with. Life was perfect.

I had met a girl, known as my "best friend". She was so great and fun! She was an army wife, with 2 beautiful daughters whom I love dearly and a husband who was deployed to Afghanistan. She had just moved back to our home state to start school and be with family, while he was away. I looked up to her, for being such a strong woman while he was away with the stress of kids, school, & her husband being away.

But things turned, she wasn't the wife nor the mother I thought she was...

I was always around when she would talk to her husband (Army Man) because of the crazy time difference, & since we were peas in a pod. She would talk to him via Tango, Phone, Snapchat, Text, Etc. So sometimes id answer the phone for her or whatever she needed. I guess you could say I kind of got to know him as well. Through time we became closer and closer. I had asked her to come stay with me more often because she commuted 4 hours a day to school. The closer we got the more I started finding out about her and the weirder things became. She started making comments about you should be married to him, you'd make him the perfect wife. He'd love you. She would make him add me on FB, snapchat, and it eventually got to where she created me an account on Tango to talk to him when she "wasn't around". (never used) Every morning she would ask him if he had told his "Second Wife" good morning, etc. Just weird things like that. So to make her happy we talked (ONLY WHEN SHE WAS AROUND) Of course I thought she was joking around so of course I played back, she was my bestie you do that stuff! We always joked how we were all 3 married, etc.

Like always she was staying with me to do my hair because we were always cutting and dying everything at school. So I decided to go blonde and she decided to stay with me, we were going to go have dinner and do our usual shopping. That night I found out she was talking to a significantly younger boy. I hadn't known anything about. Talking nonstop, hanging out, sending nude pictures. I was appalled! I looked up to this woman and was amazed by her strength. And now this!! Of course I kept it to myself, and told her what I thought about the situation. I told her she would wreck her marriage. And she did just that.


Unlike our usual talkings ONLY when she was around, I received a call from Army Man. I panicked and thought he found out. I answered. He immediately explained why he was calling. He had something on his mind about the situation of her acting the way she does with us and just needed to talk to someone about it. He felt maybe something was going on and she was pawning him on me to make him not notice something she was doing (which obviously worked- & I denied everything I knew) He was confused about the whole situation, as well as myself. He said all she does is talk about me, to him. He did say it made him wonder a little bit about me. We had never talked alone, without her there. After a million laughs & countless convos. Time slipped away and it was 4 hours later! And feelings were flying all over the place! He was the most amazing man even a million miles away. After this I figured I better stop talking, it would only cause more trouble. We didn't stop; we agreed if it started getting to out of hand or deep we would stop.

By this time people from his home town had told him about her cheating on him. He freaked out and asked if I knew. Poor guy. This was the worst thing I've seen. She denied it. Of course. Before he left for deployment he had told her if she messed up ONE time it was over. (because of previous deployment, she cheated) He stuck to his words. He told her it was done, there was nothing she could do to fix it this time. He couldn't get any papers done over seas.

We continued talking, and fell hard. We made the decision I would be there for his homecoming. How we would tell the girls & the family. I was moving with him. We had our life planned out. But do you remember the boyfriend I told you about? Yeah, I hardly did either... I left him. And he tricked me into coming back, I had to go pick up my key to my apartment. He didn't even have it. He "lost" it. This was him luring me back in. He kept me at his apartment for 3 hours, making me cry my eyes out. At this point I was stuck, what in the world was a girl to do! I went back to my EX, and screwed Army Man over. He was broken. Yet he moved on rather quickly. He had a new girlfriend, which was an old girlfriend from 12 yrs ago. She is now his wife. Living out our plans we had together. She was at his homecoming. She moved with him. She spent the first weekend with his daughters. She married him. But it's not that perfect I promise.

I have recently got back in contact with Army Man. Just casually, and it's led to talking everyday. I've decided he/this is what I want. I'm unsure of him at the moment. He did say, "you were the one I wanted but you tripped out", "I regret everything, not waiting for you", etc.. I still have not met this man in person and it's been almost a year, I still have these feeling for him. I need all the help & advice I can get on what to do about this situation. I love this man, and haven't stopped thinking about him since I made the wrong decision on leaving him. Please, please help!!


I appreciate everyone taking the time to read this & help! You guys are amazing.

'I've decided he/this is what I want.' Oh really? You haven't even met him in person. You are both titillated by 'knowing' each other without touching. You know NOTHING about what it would be like to touch, get along, go through humdrum days, all that matters after the first few weeks.

You are a whirlwind of confusion. Your ex didn't trick you at all. You were free to turn on your heel as soon as he said he didn't have the key. Heck, you could have said mail it. Why did you need it anyway? Stop playing the poor waif tossed about by other people's machinations.

All I care about are the kids in all this.

STOP talking to Army Man. Talk, talk, talk, do something with your life.

Didn't you say he was married? That should have been enough to leave him alone period. It would be just another bad decision you make following your heart, and overlooking the obvious.

It might be best for you to take some time to sort out your life on your own. Right now, it seems as though you aren't ready to be in a committed relationship with anyone. If you don't love your boyfriend, and feel it isn't a long term relationship, end it with him. Sometimes it can be better to be alone than jumping from relationship to relationship.

Let Army Man go... stop thinking of yourself... do not become the other woman. You should not have contacted him, or he should not have contacted you.

And don't move to FT. Collins!

Is this the reason you are moving to Ft. Carson in Colorado?