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aziz_x · Dec 12, 2009, 03:17 AM

My best friend a girl is getting married... when we first became friends it was kind of weird because am a guy and she is truly my best friend ever ,she never left my side throw thick and thin... when I failed last year on the forth year in college I was depressed even suicidal...
And she met this great guy who loves her so much... it seemed that while my life is going worse hers was getting better... am not jealous of her ,but I kind of think we should apart... especially that she is getting married .
I am really confused when ever she calls I try to tell her what am thinking but I cant...
And when she doesn't call for a while I automatically assume she is better off me anyway so why to bother her...

Now we don't talk as as much ,and I think she knows something is wrong and maybe she gave up on me... I don't know what to do and feel like I am not being the best friend I should be...
help!!!!!!

redhed35 · Dec 12, 2009, 04:05 AM

She is getting married and getting on with her life...

Its sounds as it you have a few self esteem issues and perhaps a little insecure...

Why not try and make new friends and try new interests.

As far as your friend is concerned,just give her a call and see what she is up too,keep the conversation light...

If there is no romantic feelings on either part.you can still be friends...

amicon · Dec 12, 2009, 04:16 AM

Have to spread the rep. Redhed's giving you good,solid advice. And having a nice friendly chat will show your friend that you're still there for them.

Devorameira · Dec 12, 2009, 06:06 AM

Since she's getting married you have to face the possibility that your friendship will be affected. She'll have a husband to talk to now, who may not want his wife spending time with another man. Face it - your close friendship may have to end.

Jake2008 · Dec 12, 2009, 10:15 PM

I think that you have become too dependent on her over the years, and it is understandable that you will be feeling a loss, because the nature of the friendship has changed.

Any time that you experience a loss of a close friendship, you will go through stages much like grieving. Acceptance I think is the hardest part.

A loss of someone you love, even as a friend, is a very difficult thing to go through. Anybody who has lost someone close to them through death, or the end of a friendship, or even having a person move across the country, is going to upset your life, because that person is no longer in it. Or in it the same way.

Accept that she has made decisions, as she should, about her life, and things will change between the two of you. You are right to realize that you can no longer count on her the way you did. I think that you are being very respectful of her, and her decision to marry.

It is never easy to let somebody go, but you are doing the right thing. If you keep in touch through email, and the odd phone call, I see nothing wrong with that because you have a long friendship history.

I would be feeling exactly as you are right now.

ohsohappy · Dec 12, 2009, 10:32 PM

Be a friend from afar. Heck, maybe get to know her fiancé better, you can be the trusted friend of the family rather than the trusted friend of the wife. There are ways to deal with it, either it works out and you stay friends, but not as goo of friends, or you are just as good of friends, or you will no longer be friends. I'm sure you'd prefer to have her in your life, so you need to figure out exactly you are going to fit in to hers, that's where talking comes in, and then make your decision from there, but I think it's best when you at least have something solid to base your decision on.

Good luck.

aziz_x · Dec 13, 2009, 02:19 PM

I sincerely thank everyone who took time to answer me...
Specially (jake 2008),
"much like grieving. Acceptance I think is the hardest part."
You are absolutely right...
Hope you never have to deal with it the way I did .
Wish all good luck... ♥
I'm going to do my best thank you again...

Alty · Dec 13, 2009, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by aziz_x

I sincerely thank everyone who toke time to answer me ...
specially (jake 2008),
"much like grieving. Acceptance I think is the hardest part."
you are absolutely right...
hope you never have to deal with it the way i did .
wish all good luck..........♥
I'm going to do my best thank you again...

We all get older, move on. The friends I had when I was younger are still friends, but not to the extent that they were then.

We all got married, had kids, careers, responsibilities. You aren't there yet, but your friend is, and yes, your relationship will change, but that doesn't mean it will end.

You seem to only be thinking about yourself and your needs, not hers. You seem very needy, very emotional, very insecure. To be a friend means to accept the person you're friends with. You're relying on her to hold you up, that's not fair.

She's moving on, but she's not dying. Just be her friend. Find your confidence, find yourself, stop relying on her to do it for you.

Good luck.

aziz_x · Dec 13, 2009, 02:51 PM

Maybe I do see things one sided...
I never thought of myself as insecure... but you put it in a way that it's the only explanation... TO how I feel,,
Thank you very much "ALTENWEG" good luck