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Danny187 · Feb 27, 2007, 03:34 PM

Is being too nice to my girlfriend bad? I mean, I really don't like conflict and when I see it coming I just go with what she says. I will do anything to avoid it and that's making me seem like the "Nice" guy... She tells me that I'm too nice to her.. What should I do?

ForeverZero · Feb 27, 2007, 03:40 PM

Dude. You're not being too nice. Don't even put yourself in the same category as nice. You're being spineless. That's not nice. That's a serious problem. Women don't like men they can walk all over, they like a man that will piss them off occasionally for no good reason. That's the dynamics of relationship. I wouldn't be surprised that if you keep this up, she'll put you into the friend zone because you're just a pushover. Nobody wants that. Time to present a challenge.

momincali · Feb 27, 2007, 03:46 PM

That's not being nice, that's being a Golden Retriever! Be decisive without being controlling. Be compromising, without being a Wuss. Be a gentleman, without being a jellyfish. Take the lead and she'll want to be by your side. She's asking you to be the man here. Be romantic, but don't overdo it. Above all else, be funny when she needs a laugh, strong when she needs a shoulder and sexy when she's horny... ooh, who said that??

ForeverZero · Feb 27, 2007, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by momincali

That's not being nice, that's being a Golden Retriever! Be decisive without being controlling. Be compromising, without being a Wuss. Be a gentleman, without being a jellyfish. Take the lead and she'll want to be by your side. She's asking you to be the man here. Be romantic, but don't overdo it. Above all else, be funny when she needs a laugh, strong when she needs a shoulder and sexy when she's horny...ooh, who said that???

All this. Also, for good measure, make sure you tell her to stop talking because you're watching football. I've never done this. Tell me how it is. Make sure you do it for no good reason. Even when she's not talking and you're not watching football. In fact, keep her on her toes. Especially when you're not watching football.

Danny187 · Feb 27, 2007, 03:51 PM

Yea I know I've thought about that as well.. but I mean I really don't see any challenge to present... I mean I can only see my girlfriend on the weekends because she's a senior in High school and I'm almost a sophomore in college. And she attends her high school baseball games and one day I presented the possibility of me being allowed to go to one.. and she said that she didn't want me to go because is all girls... And I told her that I would really like to go to one due because I can spend more time with her and she would be with both me and her friends... I mean just the other night I told her why couldn't I go and so on and she got really mad because I was questioning her... So finally I just said forget about it I won't go. And I'm sorry for questioning her... That's when she told me I was too nice to her, that she always gets her way.. I don't know what to do next

momincali · Feb 27, 2007, 03:58 PM

I don't know any girl who doesn't want to show off her baseball skills to her boyfriend. Sounds fishy to me. Anyway, so, don't go, don't offer to go anywhere. Be busy for a while. Get involved with other things. She is the center of your life it seems and that's not good for either one of you. She is right, she always gets her way and will continue to do so unless you give her some space AND make sure you take some space for yourself, whether she likes it or not. She'll soon catch on that you're not so available and maybe stop taking your for granted.

ForeverZero · Feb 27, 2007, 04:00 PM

Ok. Here's what I see, First off, either she's got something to hide, or she ain't that into you. The whole you can't come to the ball game means she's hiding something. Either you from her friends/parents or somebody else from you. I don't see why that's a problem in any capacity, unless your friends are drunken retards and you are too. My next problem is that when you're in a relationship, nobody allows you to do anything. With the exception of backdoor sex, your girlfriend doesn't allow you to do something. She wants it or she doesn't. If She doesn't want the same things as you, your relationship is in trouble. With the exception earlier cited, you don't need her permission for anything, you should be able to do as you please. That's what makes relationships great.

Danny187 · Feb 27, 2007, 04:00 PM

What you said is very true! And I thank you for your advice. I know nothings fishy cause she's a Mormon and she's very religious while I'm not. So I know she wouldn't do anything bad. But I will deff take your advice thanks a lot! Helping me out already!

missgomez13 · Feb 27, 2007, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by Danny187

Is being too nice to my girlfriend bad? I mean, i really dont like conflict and when i see it coming i just go with what she says. I will do anything to avoid it and thats making me seem like the "Nice" guy... She tells me that im too nice to her.. What should i do?

Don't ignore her this makes it worse! I hate it when my boyfriend does that! Talk to her don't run away from the issue why do guys do that? Anyway but see where I'm coming from! Talk to her don't run! Understand!

chuff · Mar 3, 2007, 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by Danny187

So finally i just said forget about it i wont go. and im sorry for questioning her... Thats when she told me i was too nice to her, that she always gets her way.. idk what to do next

You don’t apologize to any woman or man for that matter when you didn’t do anything wrong. That’s exactly what she meant by your too nice. She was testing you to see if she could get her way and you caved. What’s worse is you after caved you then apologized. You weren’t wrong to begin with so you had no reason to apologize.

chopstick · Mar 3, 2007, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by Danny187

Is being too nice to my girlfriend bad? I mean, i really dont like conflict and when i see it coming i just go with what she says. I will do anything to avoid it and thats making me seem like the "Nice" guy... She tells me that im too nice to her.. What should i do?

Conflict is not a bad thing. It resolves issues. Don't be afraid of it. I know where you're coming from. I'm just learning to do it myself. My relationship is cleansed after the conflict. Stand up for your rights. You sound like a really nice guy. Don't let anyone step on you. If they do bark (just a litttle).
Woof+love from a stranger

Geoffersonairplane · Mar 4, 2007, 09:25 AM

With the greatest respect, you sound like at the moment you are more like her doormat and she feels like you are letting her walk all over you. There must be some challenge...

Put more value into yourself and quit trying to please her 24/7.. Be a good person and treat her with respect but also show that you are a man who can make his own decisions and that YOU matter too.

I believe you deep down know how you must behave and you can resolve this problem.