Check out some similar questions!

talaniman · Sep 14, 2006, 04:58 PM

Hi gang, You all know I'm an old retired dude with a quacky sense of humor sometimes. I have loved being here with all of you and helping people who ask for it.. I've come to see us all as family and I also know we sometimes disagree, and that's fine because we are all different with different experiences, its all good but just to know how everyone here feels, what would you do if one of us was so obnoxious and defensive as to be disruptive and not very courteous when it comes to slinging those red boxes around and putting down peoples opinions in a personal way. Just wanted to hear some opinions and or advice. Thanks in advance. Please no name calling as that would not be appropriate just general feelings.

s_cianci · Sep 14, 2006, 05:42 PM

In my opinion, anyone who cannot at least acknowledge another's opinion, though they may personally disagree, has serious issues that they need to work on for themselves. PRoblem is, such people are generally so haughty or arrogant that they will never acknowledge they have a problem and will never seek help for it. There is such a thing as disagreeing without being disagreeable and those who can't do so are crossing the line into verbal and emotional abuse, which are just as bad as physical abuse, in how it impacts the victim as well as the emotional damage suffered by the perpetrator.

J_9 · Sep 14, 2006, 06:10 PM

T-man you are not an old dude. And, by the way, can I drop the kids off at your house with your grandkids this weekend to study for my exams on Monday?

Anyway, I have learned through studying Erkison and Maslow, among others, in Psychology that people who continuously disregard the feelings of other people have a need to be the center of attention. They may have such a low self-esteem that they tend to try and steal the spotlight, so to speak.

Sometimes it is best to try and ingore people who are attention seekers, or "drama queens/kings" if possible. However, if it is outside of the family and in places like here I am wondering if it best to make the point that they can actually be making the problem worse with their advice, or lack thereof, and go on from there.

Sometimes the best thing said is nothing.

Krs · Sep 15, 2006, 02:08 AM

Im with J_9 on this one completely!

Skell · Sep 17, 2006, 05:51 PM

I worry about the at times obvious poor advice that is given to people looking for genuine help. I know of course that this advice being poor is only my opinion but at times it is just so damn obvious that it isn't in the best interest of the original poster. OR perhaps it is good for the OP to read this bad advice and not go down that path.
One does not want to argue and hijack anothers thread but one also finds it hard to not comment or respond to the sometimes personal attacks on an opinion offered that is offered from the heart and with genuine concern for the impact this opinoon or advice may have on the life of the person seeking help..
Perhaps as J_9 says that the less said the better. I will try and adopt this approach myself in the future.

CaliforniaOrange · Sep 17, 2006, 08:32 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Hi gang, You all know I'm an old retired dude with a quacky sense of humor sometimes. I have loved being here with all of you and helping people who ask for it.. I've come to see us all as family and I also know we sometimes disagree, and thats fine because we are all different with different experiences, its all good but just to know how everyone here feels, what would you do if one of us was so obnoxious and defensive as to be disruptive and not very courteous when it comes to slinging those red boxes around and putting down peoples opinions in a personal way. Just wanted to hear some opinions and or advice. Thanks in advance. Please no name calling as that would not be appropriate just general feelings.

Wait, are you a moderator or administrator? Im confused.

Skell · Sep 17, 2006, 08:44 PM

No, tal is neither a mod or admin.
He is just asking a question to get our feelings on this particular issue. As you are fairly new here I would expect you to be confused so I wouldn't worry too much about this thread!

CaliforniaOrange · Sep 17, 2006, 08:54 PM

Oh OK, thanks skell... and while I'm posting in here I might as well add, if the person is making the safety factor dissapaite that all of you have so clearly created, I would certainly not tolerate it.

momincali · Sep 17, 2006, 10:06 PM

There are soooo many great people on this site that I try to not even think about the bad apples in the bunch, BUT, there are those that just get under my skin. Why do people have to be haters?? They read your opinions or advice and either take it extremely personally or take things out of context and before you know it they're slingin' mud. Or even worse, why not think things through, and read all posts carefully before dishing it out. These are peoples lives here, it matters.

They bug!

Skell · Sep 17, 2006, 10:17 PM

So true mom.

J_9 · Sep 18, 2006, 02:55 AM

Just to fill you in. The "Bad Apple" that I believe we are speaking about on this thread will no longer be on the site.

Curlyben · Sep 18, 2006, 03:09 AM

Any problems of this kind, please let me know and I'll see what can be done.

You won't be bugging me as that's what I do ;)