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    JohnDaman407's Avatar
    JohnDaman407 Posts: 7, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Jul 19, 2011, 10:38 PM
    Bad Break up!
    I am a 22 year old Hispanic (male) that just broke up with the mother of my child of 5yrs.
    We got together when we were 17 and 16! Things started great in the beginning for about the first 4 years! About a 7 months ago she admitted on having an affair that she was sexually involved in.. She claim they only did it once (I don't know if I ever believed that!) This is how it went down! I was really having a ****ed up feeling about our future and our relationship.

    So one day she was sleeping and I seen her phone so I took it to the bathroom with me and I see she had a text talking about she misses the dude, so I ask her about it when I went back in the room. That's when she came clean and told me about the affair. But that's not all. A couples of months go by I would say about 4 to 5 then I find the same number in the phone again I ask her about it and she says Ooh we are just friends and he don't even live around here anymore! The area code was different than last times... I was mad as **** when I found out about that number in her phone!

    Time went by and as time goes by I get curious about what is in her phone the whole time and every time I would be around her that's all I would think about! Look people we where together for a long time and when I tell you she was the girl for me and the type of person she was with me SHE WAS THE BEST GIRL in the world! I know this girl loves me with all her heart and I want you guys to know that! We did not go one day without talking to each other and saying I love you.

    BACK to the story! Before the big day of the break up happen on my sons 2nd birthday, we went out to the movies, and had one of the best times we have had in a while. We ****ed our brains out basically all night! Well all right the birthday of my son is here so as we are decorating and doing everything, I happen to go to the car to go get something and then I see her purse and I think to myself this can't happen again PLEASE NO... I looked in the message and I know she was still texting the guy, but worse. I seen a text that she sent her friend saying if she had any cute guys that she could hook up (**** Buddies Wise) that's how it was written!

    All right, so I finally had enough and said OK ***** I'm done with you... I went back in the house, I let her know that it was over, and I couldn't do this anymore. She said I don't want to either, because its just too much. I went in the room and put my feeling on a piece of paper and broke the phone that I had paid for!

    In the letter I just had let her know that I think she would never change and that I can't handle it anymore. I have tried to work it out with her too many times **** YOU! I left her parents house telling her that she can't ever say I tried! She lives with her parents! I do also! She is 21! I have my son from 2 to 3 days out the week because we have part time day-care. Look people I lost my job about 2 months ago and looking for something new. She had recently told me that she has been feeling like I can't take care of her lately or my son doing what I'm doing!

    As of right now I'm living at my parent looking to land a job a soon get out of here. I want to know what should I do with her situation? Should I care? Should I call her? Should I ignore her? I am losing my mind because I love her so much!


    Edited/T
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jul 20, 2011, 12:10 PM

    Let the dust settle as you get yourself together and be a good dad, and keep any interactions with this lying cheater to things concerning your son. Sorry guy but things between you have obviously changed greatly, and for now, just focus on your son only, and not what the ex is doing.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #3

    Jul 21, 2011, 07:13 AM
    Can an admin edit the race related epithets? I'm not seeing a button to report the question.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Jul 21, 2011, 11:50 AM

    Been done, did I miss one?? If you want to report a post or thread, there is a Report Inappropriate Post in the upper right hand corner, right by the post number.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #5

    Jul 21, 2011, 11:51 AM
    Just one, and it was gone by the time I checked back a couple minutes later. Thanks!
    JohnDaman407's Avatar
    JohnDaman407 Posts: 7, Reputation: 3
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    #6

    Jul 21, 2011, 11:33 PM
    Mixed Feelings!
    Threads have been merged together



    Me and my baby's mother broke up last Saturday when I found out that she was texting her friend about any cute guys she can hook up with... right there and then I ended things plus I had and still have a lot of trust issues!
    Recently I was suppose to pick up my son from her parents house where she lives! (We were together for 5 yrs)
    But all the sudden something came up that I couldn't make to her house. So I call her to let her know that I was not going to make it because of whatever reason! I asked her if she could just drop him off where I live (with my parents) and she said yeah I will drop him off but don't try to talk to me about me and you because I'm not ready so I say OK I will not go there! About 5 minutes later she calls me and ask me if she can stay over and spend the night (I was surprised to hear this) and me being the stupid person that I am I said yes no problem! But again she told me not to bring anything about the day that we broke up or anything that has to do with our rela-ship and I said OK whatever.. So she comes over we put our son to sleep go downstairs to smoke a "J" and we are just acting real normal like nothing. So we get upstairs and then we have sex.. She falls to sleep and in the morning she leaves to work. I Don't KNOW What's Going ON? I need anwers! Where do I stand?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Jul 22, 2011, 12:08 PM

    You were a booty call, that's where you stand, and she got to use you, and leave you confused, so you will be weak with false hope, and she can judge your reactions. You maybe the baby daddy, but her eyes and heart wonder to other guys. Your failure to set boundaries, and allow her to do as she pleases will bite you in the butt down the road. I would have trust issues with her myself, she makes me suspicious, and maybe that's what you pay attention to.

    Now that you know the game, don't play it with her. You were stupid once, but now you know better, you never let a ex dump you, and use you. She didn't want to talk, that was the first clue that she had other motives. No need to start more threads about the same thing, or use racial slurs.
    JohnDaman407's Avatar
    JohnDaman407 Posts: 7, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Jul 22, 2011, 01:03 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    What do you mean start more threads? Or racial slurs?
    JohnDaman407's Avatar
    JohnDaman407 Posts: 7, Reputation: 3
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    #9

    Jul 22, 2011, 01:12 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    I can sort of believe that but I was the one who initiate it! We did not cuddle or such. There is no way where NO CONTACT is even possible with her being the mother of my child. How can I let her know that I don't want to play games because by her staying over kind of messed with my emotion.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Jul 22, 2011, 01:47 PM

    How about learning to say NO, and focusing on your child together, and not your needs or her games.

    Your failure to set boundaries, and allow her to do as she pleases will bite you in the butt down the road.
    No talking, start letting your actions speak for you. That's what I would be about.


    What do you mean start more threads? Or racial slurs?
    Your second thread was merged with the first, and your use of the "N" word was edited out.

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