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    crystrinnjosh's Avatar
    crystrinnjosh Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 14, 2009, 10:30 PM
    Baby Mama Drama & Was I Wrong, & Was My Boyfriend Wrong?
    3 threads merged and edited


    baby mama drama, all messed up!
    Ok, Me and my boyfriend started going together on August 1st 2007, on September 27th 2007 the girl he dealt with before we got together called him and told him she was pregnant and that the baby might be his but she didn't know if him or another guy was the father. He said OK and he told me and I said OK. Well after that the girl started drama with me lying and acting crazy to try and break us up even though there relationship was just sex and it was over the course of a month in June 2007, so nothing serious. I was supportive of my boyfriend keeping in contact with her at first but every time he would talk to her or see her, she would call me saying they had sex or that he said he didn't go with me so we ended up not getting along and eventually I wanted him to have nothing to do with her because she was targeting me when I had been nothing but nice to her from the beginning.

    Well she kept causing drama and from then on talking about how she was going to slap me and beat me up after she had the baby and she also started telling everyone that her and my boyfriend were together and that he was her baby's father even though she didn't know just to make it seem like I was being cheated on.


    I found out I was pregnant in jan. 2008 and she stopped the drama for a while because I think she thought that having a baby would make him want her which it didn't and since I was pregnant she realized that she couldn't hold the baby against him anymore. She had the baby in march 2008 and my boyfriend went to for the birth, but ended up leaving before the birth because she kept cursing at him and talking bad about him in front of her family.




    He eventually stopped having anything to do with the baby because I was pregnant and every time he went to visit the baby she would call me saying they had sex and stressing me out trying to make me loose my baby, so he didn't want to put my pregnancy in jeopardy because he knew our baby was his. He told her to call him when they were going to take the paternity test.





    Well me and him had our daughter on September 22nd 2008 and it's been great and now on march 13th 2009 he gets child support recovery letters in the mail for the other baby which is fine cause we had been waiting for the court date and test, but she purposely waited a whole year so she could try and get back child support and have control over the situation, plus her and her recent boyfriend has split up.



    My boyfriend called her that day 2 talk to her about it and she told him that she doesn't want to put him on child support, she just wants him to help her with the baby if the test comes back 99.9% his and he said of course he would help take care of his child, but we think he should just go through with the child support so, she can't try and keep the baby away from him when she gets mad, and so later on if she gets an attitude she can't try and change her mind and do him wrong a put him on child support even though she knew they had an agreement, what do you think he should do, child support/visitation or an agreement between the both of them??
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #2

    Mar 14, 2009, 10:44 PM

    It would be easier for me if you use paragraphs its hard to focus when writing in such big lump. Love to help though when you do~
    Ren6's Avatar
    Ren6 Posts: 539, Reputation: 121
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    #3

    Mar 15, 2009, 10:33 AM
    You all sound way too young to be popping out babies. The behavior of all involved is that of middle schoolers.

    For starters, it's very possible that your boyfriend is the father of the other woman's baby. He needs to both pay child support and get visitation with his child- that is, if he's interested in being a man. When you have a child with somebody, your lives will be intertwined with that person until the child reaches adulthood, so you should all consider treating each other in a civil manner for your own sanity.

    As for your myspace, here's a hint... make it PRIVATE. When it's PRIVATE, only the people you choose to let see it can actually view it. If she's a drama queen, you're helping her by making all your crap public, so she can get upset by it.

    Word to the wise- start using birth control, pronto!
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #4

    Mar 15, 2009, 02:10 PM

    I read up to the point where you said you went to school with this girl. Why on earth would you waste your future on this BS? You are still in school and dealing with adult issues with two other people who are not adults. You are at least lucky and can get out. Do it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Mar 17, 2009, 03:16 PM

    You have already figured out the court is the way to go.

    For both mothers.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #6

    Mar 18, 2009, 08:55 AM

    Go through the courts, or if you wish to make an agreement, make sure you contact a lawyer or at least get it notarized so that it is legally bonding. Cover ALL your bases and have your boyfriend be in that child's life.
    Ren6's Avatar
    Ren6 Posts: 539, Reputation: 121
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    #7

    Mar 18, 2009, 10:05 AM
    This story gets more and more "cleaned up" each time you post it. I guess you didn't like my answer, which is basically the same as Rome's. Your boyfriend is likely the father of the other woman's baby and needs to man up. This includes visitation with the child as well as monetary support. He should also consider the use of condoms in the future, since he has little or no self control. For your part, you can lessen your contribution to the drama by making all your myspace info private.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #8

    Mar 18, 2009, 10:11 AM

    I would go through all the proper channels by going through the courts system.

    If paternity is an issue he doesn't have to wait for her to petition the courts he can go down there do it himself. Same goes for child support and visitations.

    You already stated she is a tricky so this is an issue that shouldn't be played with because she already proved she can't be trusted.

    Time for your boyfriend to make things happen. And it's his fault that he wasn't more careful to who he shared his bed with because otherwise he'll be in this situation.
    daddysgirl86's Avatar
    daddysgirl86 Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
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    #9

    Mar 18, 2009, 10:30 AM
    I agree with all the posts before me. I would go through the courts. And when you go through the courts they have to do atest to see if the child is his. Which I'm sure it is. And make everything the legal why. So if she decides later on to do something. She will have to go through the courts. Also if she does not put him on child support he can always put it on himself.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #10

    Mar 18, 2009, 10:39 AM

    It is to everyone's advantage to get a DNA test and establish paternity and then make arrangements for child support,through the court.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #11

    Mar 18, 2009, 10:53 AM
    After reading your other posts I must say you tell some conflicting stories. And I must say you had a hand in this drama because he was with the other girl and you came between them and now she's trying to do the same.

    Also, I must add that all you need to grow up because set aside your drama kids are now added to the mix. All of you need to do what's right for them and not yourself and not use them as pawns in your immature games.

    Time to do what's right and act mature and leave the past in the past because you can't change that. This is the present and the future can be brighter if everyone just along and do the right thing in a civil mature way.
    daddysgirl86's Avatar
    daddysgirl86 Posts: 28, Reputation: 3
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    #12

    Mar 18, 2009, 10:59 AM
    I agree 100% you people are only hurting the children now involved
    MsMewiththat's Avatar
    MsMewiththat Posts: 854, Reputation: 136
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    #13

    Mar 18, 2009, 11:11 AM

    I agree with what has been stated and also would like to add that you don't know that she is doing this because she wants to break you up. She very well may have gone through the process with the other candidates that she thought were the father and now it's your guys turn up to bat so to speak. My suggestion to you is to stand back and allow it to happen. Also there is every reason to have a paternity test prior to assuming responsibilities. Once that is established be supportive. This would potentially be your child's brother/sister from another mother so to speak and they could possibly have a great friendship in the future. Watch what you do and say now so as not to cause conflict. You can do it.
    kanicky73's Avatar
    kanicky73 Posts: 484, Reputation: 63
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    #14

    Mar 18, 2009, 11:11 AM

    Ok first of all, if you want all of us to look at you with open minds and try to understand your situation you need to remember that we can go back and read all your previous posts. So let me start by saying shame on you!! You interfered with his relationship with the other girl by having an affair with him and getting pregnant, then trying everything you could by lying, stealing photos and trashing his name all over town, to get him to be with you. Now you have him (maybe) and YOU are looking at this other girl going what the heck is her problem and why is she doing this. Payback is a [email protected]#$ my dear. I am not saying what she is doing is right. What all of you did was wrong and now there are several children, 3 I believe if I was able to follow your soap opera correctly, and you all are pointing fingers at one another going oh my gosh how can she do this etc!! Stand up and be accountable for your actions and take the blame for what you started.. he needs to do the same. If I were the other baby mama, I would take is butt to court get child support and run the other way!!
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #15

    Mar 18, 2009, 11:35 AM
    It doesn't sound as if this girl can be trusted, say you do this privately and the child as well as your boyfriend (and even you) get attached to each other and then she can just mess it all up...

    What you guys need is a DNA test, and if your BF is the father, then you need to go through the courts... This is to secure his rights, as well as the rights of this child.
    kanicky73's Avatar
    kanicky73 Posts: 484, Reputation: 63
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    #16

    Mar 18, 2009, 12:02 PM

    roxypox, it doesn't seem as though any of these people want a final solutions to their issues. It sounds like they all in a weird way enjoy the drama and don't care who it hurts along the way. I highly doubt that any of them will go as far as getting any DNA tests done or take anyone to court for anything. If they were truly concerned about the children then they would have done this the day these babies were born. That is what a responsible person who got into a bad situation and wants to rectify does, plain and simple.
    MsMewiththat's Avatar
    MsMewiththat Posts: 854, Reputation: 136
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    #17

    Mar 18, 2009, 12:05 PM

    Perhaps they went for some type of public assistance and it was ordered to submit the name of the father... gotta figure out who it is first?sounds like all that is missing is an appearance on the springer show... eh?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #18

    Mar 18, 2009, 12:10 PM

    Or go to Steve Walkos show to get yell out and maybe leave with better sense.
    KatiePlce's Avatar
    KatiePlce Posts: 55, Reputation: 5
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    #19

    Mar 18, 2009, 12:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by kanicky73 View Post
    roxypox, it doesnt seem as though any of these people want a final solutions to their issues. It sounds like they all in a weird way enjoy the drama and dont care who it hurts along the way. I highly doubt that any of them will go as far as getting any DNA tests done or take anyone to court for anything. If they were truly concerned about the children then they would have done this the day these babies were born. That is what a responsible person who got into a bad situation and wants to rectify does, plain and simple.
    I can't comprehend how you would NOT want to get the DNA testing ASAP. How do you not care who the REAL father is... :mad:
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #20

    Mar 18, 2009, 12:29 PM

    After reading all the drama involved here, I hope both you AND the other girl give your children up for adoption, as you're not grown up enough to be parents with the way your actions are--and your boyfriend isn't any better.

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