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    sugarlove's Avatar
    sugarlove Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 29, 2009, 07:50 AM
    Baby mama drama and friend drama
    So my boyfriend and I have been dating just for a little bit. We are so happy together when we with each other and I really care about him a lot. There is a couple down sides though to this relationship. He has a baby mama who is crazy like literally crazy. They haven't been together for about half a year and now we are together. I believe him 100 percent that he cares about me and doesn't want to be with the psyco! One day we were suppose to hang out but when we were suppose to he shut his phone off!! I was kind of pist and worried at the same time. When I called my friend to vent to her she just made the situation worse by saying o well he is prob with baby mama. Which put a whole bunch of thoughts in my head tat shouldn't have been and she tried making the situation better but tat did not help. My friend and I have been friends for a long time. She wanted to get with him and then me and him got together I think she is jealous and doesn't want us to be together. She calls him and tell him not to tell me that she calls. It MAKES me MAD I'm not going to ask her cause she is just going to deny it. But what should I do just ignore this? HELP!!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #2

    May 29, 2009, 07:56 AM

    This whole thing sounds fishy. Turning off his phone, you need a explanation for that one. Your friend, isn't a friend, she's a snake in the grass. If you knew she liked him, then why did you go after him?

    I thought there was like an unwritten code of conduct for that stuff or is it just my friends and I. If a friend likes a girl, then all of us stay away from that out of respect
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    May 29, 2009, 08:11 AM

    Get all those sneaky drama queens out of your life, and rebuild it with people who don't have issues, and sneaky agendas.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #4

    May 29, 2009, 08:25 AM

    This so called friend of yours isn't a friend at all and your boyfriend isn't true to you.

    Now you might think his baby mama is crazy but I bet there is some truth to her story and you don't know what is doing and telling her behind your back. So there's to sides to that story.

    Some how I think your be better off finding a new friend and man. It will save you a lot of misery down the road and neither of them can be trusted.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #5

    May 29, 2009, 08:45 AM

    Watch for red flags and keep track of dates, times and things in your memory; as well as inconsistencies.
    For example
    He didn't answer his phone May 23th.
    May 30th he happens to mention that he spent that day at his mothers helping her with something.
    On June 1st you hear him mention that he spent the Saturday before at his baby mama's house.

    It could be possible that if he is visiting his kid he might turn the phone off just so he doesn't have to listen to her nagging and complaining if you happen to call.

    Don't accuse and don't badger him with questions.
    Watch the red flag trail.
    sugarlove's Avatar
    sugarlove Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jun 3, 2009, 08:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Romefalls19 View Post
    This whole thing sounds fishy. Turning off his phone, you need a explanation for that one. Your friend, isn't a friend, she's a snake in the grass. If you knew she liked him, then why did you go after him?

    I thought there was like an unwritten code of conduct for that stuff or is it just my friends and I. If a friend likes a girl, then all of us stay away from that out of respect
    Well my friend was going to dump her current boyfriend for him but he didn't want to date her. So technically it was her man so you! There is but she is the one who is not following the way the friendship is you know?
    sugarlove's Avatar
    sugarlove Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jun 3, 2009, 08:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    This so called friend of yours isn't a friend at all and your boyfriend isn't true to you.

    Now you might think his baby mama is crazy but I bet there is some truth to her story and you don't know what is doing and telling her behind your back. So there's to sides to that story.

    Some how I think your be better off finding a new friend and man. It will save you alot of misery down the road and neither of them can be trusted.

    You well we broke up now.. we are still friends!! But we have been fighting really bad for the past two days.. and now he is asking what I want from him!!

    I told him so I don't know..

    But I found out that him and baby mama are trying to work things out! I think the only reason why he broke up with me is because I got baby mammas number..

    Because Sunday and Saturday he didn't call me or anything..

    So I called her phone and he answered so I think he broke up with me so I can't tell her anything about me and him...

    So you I don't know its confusin...
    sugarlove's Avatar
    sugarlove Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jun 3, 2009, 08:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Watch for red flags and keep track of dates, times and things in your memory; as well as inconsistencies.
    For example
    He didn't answer his phone May 23th.
    May 30th he happens to mention that he spent that day at his mothers helping her with something.
    On June 1st you hear him mention that he spent the Saturday before at his baby mama's house.

    It could be possible that if he is visiting his kid he might turn the phone off just so he doesn't have to listen to her nagging and complaining if you happen to call.

    Don't accuse and don't badger him with questions.
    Watch the red flag trail.
    So then when I see something wrong just remember it for future?
    sugarlove's Avatar
    sugarlove Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jun 3, 2009, 08:11 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Get all those sneaky drama queens out of your life, and rebuild it with people who don't have issues, and sneaky agendas.

    YA!! UR SO RIGHT!!

    BUT ITS HARD CAUSE I HAVE KNOWN HER FOR SO MANY YEARS?? :mad::confused:
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #10

    Jun 3, 2009, 08:30 AM

    Don't call this guy nor his baby mother phone anymore. Don't make yourself part of this cunfusion any longer. Move on!

    I had a friend that I knew since the age of 6. I stopped being her a friend a few years ago at the age of 25. That was hard for me to do and it even make me cry a few times but she was up to no good and I couldn't have someone that smiled in my face but talked about me behind my back due to jealousy. To this day I missed hanging out with her and remember all the good times but in the end I did the right thing by ending our friendship. Even though I lost her friendship I did gain others.

    So it is up to you to decide whether you want to her friend but it is something you should seriously think about. If she know you for years why did she do what she did? Maybe she doesn't value the friendship like you do.
    Ren6's Avatar
    Ren6 Posts: 539, Reputation: 121
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    #11

    Jun 3, 2009, 09:19 AM
    I'm with Liz. Quit calling the whole lot of them. The drama started with them, but it can end with you. Don't engage with them.
    Psychic1's Avatar
    Psychic1 Posts: 17, Reputation: -2
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    #12

    Jun 3, 2009, 10:35 AM

    Sounds pretty simple to me he turned office phone because he didn't want to receive the call from his baby's mother and he doesn't want to changes phone number,plus he can't because he is a baby with this lady. If he is a real father
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #13

    Jun 3, 2009, 12:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    Don't call this guy nor his baby mother phone anymore. Don't make yourself part of this cunfusion any longer. Move on!

    I had a friend that I knew since the age of 6. I stopped being her a friend a few years ago at the age of 25. That was hard for me to do and it even make me cry a few times but she was up to no good and I couldn't have someone that smiled in my face but talked about me behind my back due to jealousy. To this day I missed hanging out with her and remember all the good times but in the end I did the right thing by ending our friendship. Even though I lost her friendship I did gain others.

    So it is up to you to decide whether or not you want to her friend but it is something you should seriously think about. If she know you for years why did she do what she did? Maybe she doesn't value the friendship like you do.
    It really is important to pick good friends... and what you did Liz took curage and guts and your stood up for yourself! (good for you!) I've cut a lot of people out of my life the past year... some people are no good for you. Especially people who smiles to your face but talks behind your back. No one needs that.


    Sugarlove: It seems that having him out of your life will def. lighten the confusion and drama! If he is trying to get back with the mom of his kid (and they were together like 6 months ago... ) It might be better to just move out of the way, move on with your life (delete their numbers) and forget about them! You will be better of in the long run without all the drama in your life.

    as for your friend... well it does sound like she tried to make you jealous the way you explain it in the OP... but she had a BF that she wanted to trade out with 'your' guy? Well... maybe you should distance yourself from her. Personally I think that one of the most valueble things about friendship is positivity!

    to give and receive positive experiences! Positive energy, positive thoughts and feelings.

    Once a friendship turns into a one way street or is filled and overshadowed by negativity and negative experiences... is it really worth holding on to? Liz's post is a good example of a negative experience!

    I hope this was of some help!

    Best of Luck!
    Roxy
    sugarlove's Avatar
    sugarlove Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jun 3, 2009, 12:39 PM
    :)
    Quote Originally Posted by roxypox View Post
    It really is important to pick good friends... and what you did Liz took curage and guts and your stood up for yourself! (good for you!) I've cut a lot of people out of my life the past year.... some people are no good for you. especially people who smiles to your face but talks behind your back. No one needs that.


    Sugarlove: It seems that having him out of your life will def. lighten the confusion and drama! If he is trying to get back with the mom of his kid (and they were together like 6 months ago...) It might be better to just move out of the way, move on with your life (delete their numbers) and forget about them! You will be better of in the long run without all the drama in your life.

    as for your friend... well it does sound like she tried to make you jealous the way you explain it in the OP... but she had a BF that she wanted to trade out with 'your' guy? Well... maybe you should distance yourself from her. Personally i think that one of the most valueble things about friendship is positivity!

    to give and receive positive experiences! Positive energy, positive thoughts and feelings.

    Once a friendship turns into a one way street or is filled and overshadowed by negativity and negative experiences.... is it really worth holding on to? Liz's post is a good example of a negative experience!

    I hope this was of some help!

    Best of Luck!
    Roxy

    You it would save a lot of drama for me!! I guess it will just take time!!


    I have always had my eye on her because I don't trust her with some things.. she has to lie about little tiny things.. I guess this really isn't the first time tat she has tried to screw me over or mess something up for me!! I just have to get enough guts and courage and come to my conclusions tat this friendship will have to end one day and it will be soon!! :)

    See I was going to call her to tell her about us!

    But the story get even more confusing and drama filled..

    With my friend:

    When my friend was chillin with my ex about a month ago.. my friend called me up scared because this baby mamma wanted to beat her up... she never told me why she wanted to but now I know its cause his baby mamma came to his house and my friend was doing something' tat she wasn't suppose to and baby mamma say and tats why!!

    So I think I will apart away from her!! Cause I can't deal with this anymore and its some bogus stuff!

    I agree with you roxypox

    Friendship is suppose to be positive filled and since she has admitted to me a few months ago tat she has been jealous of me since the begiinging.. so your right!! :)

    But I told her tat our friendship isn't based on who is prettier or anything like tat you know!!
    sugarlove's Avatar
    sugarlove Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Jun 3, 2009, 12:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ren6 View Post
    I'm with Liz. Quit calling the whole lot of them. The drama started with them, but it can end with you. Don't engage with them.
    Yea it just sucks cause he has my stuff..
    I talked to him yesterday and he said he would take me shoppin cause he lost my bracelet should I?
    sugarlove's Avatar
    sugarlove Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Jun 3, 2009, 12:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Psychic1 View Post
    sounds pretty simple to me he turned office phone because he didn't want to receive the call from his baby's mother and he doesn't want to changes phone number,plus he can't because he is a baby with this lady. if he is a real father
    You.. he is the real baby daddy!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #17

    Jun 3, 2009, 12:41 PM

    Nope, don't do it. The stuff, consider it collateral damage. Believe it it's not worth the aggravation of trying to get it back
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #18

    Jun 3, 2009, 01:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sugarlove View Post
    yea it just sucks cause he has my stuff..
    i talked to him yesterday n he said he would take me shoppin cause he lost my bracelet should i??
    Let it go because you can always get a bracelet. Sometimes material things aren't worth the drama and you have to take the lost. If he serious about replacing it then have him send you a money order or he can buy you another one and send it to you. However don't wait around for it.

    I had things left over at my exes house after a break-up and never went back for it because I didn't need nor want the things back and to be honest it was nothing of value.
    Ren6's Avatar
    Ren6 Posts: 539, Reputation: 121
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    #19

    Jun 3, 2009, 05:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sugarlove View Post
    yea it just sucks cause he has my stuff..
    i talked to him yesterday n he said he would take me shoppin cause he lost my bracelet should i??
    Nope. He's just trying to get back in with you. Call it a loss and let it go.
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #20

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sugarlove View Post
    :)


    ya it would save alot of drama for me!!! i guess it will just take time!!!!


    i have always had my eye on her because i dont trust her with some things.. she has to lie about little tiny things.. i guess this really isnt the first time tat she has tried to screw me over or mess something up for me!!! i just have to get enough guts and courage and come to my conclusions tat this friendship will have to end one day n it will be soon!!!:)

    see i was going to call her to tell her about us!!

    but the story get even more confusing and drama filled..

    with my friend:

    when my friend was chillin with my ex about a month ago.. my friend called me up scared because this baby mamma wanted to beat her up...she never told me why she wanted to but now i know its cause his baby mamma came to his house and my friend was doin something' tat she wasnt suppose to n baby mamma say n tats why!!!

    so i think i will apart away from her!!! cause i can't deal with this anymore n its some bogus stuff!!

    i agree with you roxypox

    friendship is suppose to be postive filled n since she has admitted to me a few months ago tat she has been jealous of me since the begiinging.. so your right!!!:)

    but i told her tat our friendship isnt based on who is prettier or anything like tat ya knw!!!
    Well if she has shown you both resently and in the past that she can't be trusted... she might not be worth being friends with. Even though its hard to cut contact with friends, especially people you have known for a while it will most likely be worth it in the long run! Jealousy and negative stuff like that just eats at you in the long run, it causes drama... it can be upsetting etc.

    As for the bracelet I agree with the others... sometimes its better to lose material things and let go of it then to bring more drama in your life. If he has other things that belong to you. Have him put it outside your place at a specific time or make some arangements with a friend you trust so that you don't have to see him.

    You seem to be going through a good process here though! That's always good. Takeing care of oneself is very important! And there are so many lessons you can learn from this. (in case this is a sad situation for you to be in... just look at the bright side of it! You can come out on the otherside as a stronger woman! :))

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