My boyfriend broke up with me 5 months ago – we were together almost 2 years, were really in love with each other and felt like we were each others soul mates. Lots of stuff happened while we were together and we started to grow apart as arguments started towards the end of the relationship. At the beginning I do feel like I mistreated him in a lot of ways he didn’t deserve and I did cheat on him – he knew this.
We stayed together and almost broke up a few times towards the end but we loved each other too much to be without one another but in the end it got too much for him and he split up with me even though he maintains he felt forced and didn’t want to. He said we would never get back together because he knew it just didn’t work in the end and that I should move on. For the first few months, I found it unbearable and contacted him so many times begging for another chance and telling him how much I loved him, he replied every time but eventually started to get really annoyed.
I was devastated and ended up having a one night stand with some idiot guy because I felt worthless. My ex found out about this and went mental saying he hated my guts and he never wants to speak to me again and that he regrets ever going out with me. I messaged him multiple times since this and he has always replied even though it was full of anger, he still replied.
So now I’m not sure where I stand, I know he obviously still cares or he would ignore me – I really want to get back together with him at some point but I’m not sure there's any chance of that now? I know he says he hates me but I know deep down he still loves me and feel that is a cover up for his feelings because he's mad.

I think it's over and I think it should be over. Sometimes love isn't enough. What you do on your own time is your business. The bigger issue here is working on yourself esteem and putting your life back together. Leave him alone, forever!!

Start to piece yourself together and create happiness in your life that doesn't revolve around anything but yourself.

He also had ZERO right to get mad at you for having a one night stand. This is a mess and you should do yourself a favor and get rid of it. I think the damage done and the emotions felt have ruined any chance of a normal relationship ever happening between the two of you again. Life goes on.

I think you should make clear break with this guy because for some reason you can't move on. Your night stands and whatever else you were doing were none of his business as you two broken up, and he had no right to rub in in your face.
You need to cut the contact with him and to start healing. Look at it this way - 5 months after your actual break up, you're still so invested in it. If you'd cut him off back then, you'd be free by now. And maybe seeing someone more compatible with you already.
Forget about this guy, it's all messed up and too much baggage there. Focus on yourself and getting your life back in order.
Good luck.

My gosh after the lying and cheating, and bad treatment, and then the arguments, and the begging, he would be crazy to believe you have changed, or even cared about him enough to.

No my dear, you have ruined forever any feeling you think he may have had, and had better realize it and forget him and work on yourself.

It may be years before he can forgive you, if he ever does. So get your own life together without him, because the things you pass over, and dismiss as done, and over, are still very much in his mind, and will always be.

Sorry but your attitude needs some big time adjusting.